Five years ago, this publication’s Sam Knight wrote a long read entitled ‘London Bridge is down’; a sombre, forensic examination of what will happen in the immediate aftermath of the death of Queen Elizabeth II. Knight explained that the news will break in an orderly, frictionless way. First to government officials via codeword, then to the BBC and the Press Association and finally a black-edged notice pinned to the gates of Buckingham Palace. When it happens, it will be well rehearsed and highly organised.
What Sam Knight didn’t predict, however, was that the news of the Queen’s death would be exclusively leaked to a celebrity news blog run by a man best known for having a bit-part in a spin-off to a VH1 reality hip-hop dating show. But, hey, nobody gets everything right all the time.
To be clear, as far as anyone in the world knows at the moment, the Queen hasn’t died. But that didn’t stop Hollywood Unlocked – a blog run by Love & Hip Hop star Jason Lee (not to be confused with the Jason Lee from the Alvin and the Chipmunks movies) – from announcing it on Tuesday night. “Socialites,” the offending post began, “it is with our deepest regret to inform you that Britain’s Queen Elizabeth has died. Sources close to the Royal Kingdom notified us exclusively that Queen Elizabeth has passed away. She was scheduled to attend the wedding of British Vogue editor Edward Enninful, but was found dead”.
Now, clearly, there’s a lot to unpack here. The claim that the Queen was “found dead”, as if she wandered off into Hyde Park to be discovered by a dog walker, suggests a lack of expertise on the subject. As does the phrase “sources close to the Royal Kingdom”, because that technically describes anyone who lives in or around the UK. Last, it seems fairly unlikely that the Queen was headed to Enninful’s wedding, since most reports claim that the guestlist for that event is reserved for all the myriad Beckhams and Delevingnes.
Nevertheless, Lee is sticking to his guns. On Instagram, in the wake of Hollywood Unlocked’s post, he uploaded a note reading: “1. I’ve never lied. 2. I’ve never been wrong. 3. I trust my sources. 4. I have yet to see an official statement from the palace saying otherwise. 5. I’ll be at the Donda concert tonight with Ye.”
And this sets up an extraordinary battle between the might of the British monarchy and a blogger who nobody knew about until 18 hours ago. If he’s wrong, his reputation will be in shreds. But if he happens to be right, an entire constitutional handover decades in the making will be derailed from the off. It will mean that the British population will have to entirely recalibrate its expectations for major events. If Queen Elizabeth’s death really was broken on a C-list celebrity blog, then what can we expect next? Will we learn about the death of Prince Charles through a sequence of emojis on Snapchat? Will it be exclusively revealed by a novelty cat account on TikTok? It doesn’t bear thinking about.
And what of Buckingham Palace now? Does it have to officially deny a blogpost on the internet? Will we soon be greeted with the image of Queen Elizabeth doing a thumbs-up next to a copy of today’s newspaper to demonstrate that she’s alive and kicking? You’d think not, because that would set a ridiculous precedent. Anyone could claim that she had died, and the palace would be forced to deny everything. It isn’t a very dignified way to spend the winter of your years.
In fairness to Lee, if you’re going to pick anyone to be the subject of a spurious death hoax, a nonagenarian with Covid does seem like the safest bet. However, all signs currently point to him being wrong. Which isn’t to say that should completely discount Hollywood Unlocked, of course. If you want to read stories about teachers who fed students cupcakes laced with semen, it remains a rock-solid news source.
