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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Lifestyle
Philippa Perry

I’ve lost contact with my brother. Is it too late to reach out?

‘You and your brother may be very different people. Would you be friends if you were not siblings?’ Ask Philippa.
‘You and your brother may be very different people. Would you be friends if you were not siblings?’ Ask Philippa. Photograph: blackCAT/Getty Images

The question Since our mother’s death, my brother and I have had no contact. He lives more than 100 miles away. Our relationship has been very difficult for over 40 years. When we both had young children, things were better for a time. When our dad died, Mum’s health deteriorated and she moved in with me and died 12 years later. During this time, my relationship with my brother was at its worst. Before retirement, we both worked in mental health, but neither of us understand why our family relationship has been so fractured.

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