Broadcaster Ashley James has shared her experience of feeling ignored when seeking help for female health issues, speaking out to try and prevent other women having to also suffer in silence.
The 38-year-old mother of two appeared on Fearne Cotton's Happy Place podcast to talk about what happened when her intimate postpartum problems were dismissed.
After the birth of her son, Alfie, Ashley experienced "loads of pain" following a vaginal birth. "I went to one of the top gynaecologists in the country to see what was going on, because I couldn't even insert a tampon without pain," she explains.
Continuing to share her story, Ashley recalls, "I remember him saying, 'Oh, I've had a look, and the stitches are fine, there's no scar tissue, so it's all in your head.'"
Afterwards, the broadcaster was left thinking, "Ok, well how can I get it out of my head? Because it's painful."
She later made an appointment with a private health physio, and had by now been living with the pain for 22 months. Ashley recalls that "within two seconds," the physio had diagnosed her with vaginismus.
According to the NHS, vaginismus is when the vagina suddenly tightens up when you try to insert something into it. Insertion of anything can cause a burning or stinging pain, and the condition is an automatic reaction someone has no control over.
"She released the muscle, and I was fine," Ashley says of how the physio treated her. Unfortunately, she waited and lived with ongoing pain when she had a problem that was easily corrected after she'd been listened to.
Sadly, this is an experience that is all too common for so many women. Ashley tells Fearne, "I tried to push through all of the embarrassment and taboo so that it hopefully helps other people, so they don't have to be in pain."
She hopes that speaking out will help other women "not have to put up with piles and prolapse," and other intimate female health issues, and to demand the care they deserve.
Ashley alludes to women also being delivered constant messages about their bodies "bouncing back" after giving birth and how detrimental this can be.
She shares, "All this talk of 'bounce back' culture, all I wanted to do was bounce back in, and there's a whole host of other issues that not all women get but a lot of women experience, and we just don't talk about it."
Fearne also wanted to add discussion of piles to their chat, as another painful issue that doesn't get enough attention.
"Piles are the worst pain ever," she says, adding, "One of the most painful things of all time."
Ashley agrees, explaining that she'll always be open about her postpartum recovery, "whether it's faecal incontinence or incontinence," because there's too much "shame and stigma" surrounding these debilitating issues.
"It's really isolating, and I think it actually does a disservice to women, because we are made to feel like we shouldn't talk about it," she explains, concluding, "We therefore don't push for better care."
