Look, I need to make it clear that I never intended to become the kind of person so attached to their phone that I’d end up walking into a tree. Or a lamp post. Or a bollard. But it’s pointless to deny the truth.
Admittedly, it was dark (and I was drunk) when the tree thing happened. It’s little consolation. The fact remains that I strolled right into a whacking great trunk while glued to my screen; I’ve still got the scars to prove it. The bollard one was even more humiliating – I ended up hitting it vulva-first in broad daylight while pawing furiously at WhatsApp. As for the lamp post... well, the less said about that, the better.
