Sad news came in March when we found out iconic Aussie soap Neighbours is getting the axe. The show’s Twitter account said: "We are so sorry to say that after nearly 37 years and almost 9,000 episodes broadcast we have to confirm that Neighbours will cease production in June."
The tweet added: "To our amazing, loyal fans, we know this is a huge disappointment, as it is to all of us on the team. We thank you for all your messages and support and promise to end the show on an incredible high. From here on, we are celebrating Neighbours."
"Bah, what 'incredible high'?' we scoffed. How can they possibly create one out of something so incredibly sad? That was our hill and we've sat on it, sulking, since early spring, just waiting for the end.
But wait. This weekend (May 1), something unexpectedly amazing happened. Jason Donovan and Kylie Minogue both posted opposite halves of a script on their Instagram pages, which appeared to suggest and then confirm that their much-loved Neighbours characters, Scott and Charlene will be making cameo appearances in the show as it comes to an end later this year.
I'll be 40 in December, so Neighbours basically spans my whole life. My own real-life has been punctuated by moments frpm Neighbours. Things that happened to me before or after Harold's amnesia, Helen Daniels death, Chrissy and Caroline, Toadfish, Bouncer the dog. And so many, many milkshakes left half-finished on tables at the coffee shop.
I have to admit, I haven't watched Neighbours for years, so I know the show being axed is basically all my fault. But I remember watching Scott and Charlene's iconic wedding episode at the age of six and thinking Kylie was the most beautiful woman in the world. And also thinking Jason was my dream man, despite his 80s' mullet. Maybe even because of it....
I haven't seen the wedding episode since that day in 1988 but today, dear reader, I watched it again and I have to tell you I was disappointed. Here are all the things that seemed great to me in 1988 but I today, I just wish I hadn't seen them.
1. In a phrase uttered by no bride ever before or since Charlene starts the day saying: "This is going to be the best wedding ever, I just know it!"
2. All the men have a mullet. Its not just Jason. It's all of them.
3. Instead of wedding suits to match the peach bridesmaids, or Charlene's peach and white dress (nice), the men are wearing dinner jackets and black bow ties.
4. Charlene is late and Scott seems genuinely anxious she's not going to turn up. Which makes me anxious too. Why is he this worried? We needed more information there and we never got it.
5. Charlene walks down the aisle to Angry Anderson's Suddenly and not to Especially For You which is how I've remembered it in my heart.
6. In the church, there's two full minutes of no dialogue at all. It's just loads of close-ups on people's smiling faces and tearyy eyes. Harold, Helen, Hilary, Henry, and then all the other characters whose names don't begin with an "H". Daphne, Gayle, Paul etc.
7. Scott and Charlene's wedding kiss is a very awkward. It's a full scale, school-disco vibes, three-second snog.
8. The wedding reception is in Jason's living room. No, in his grandma's living room actually. This is Australia. And it's Ramsey Street. Could they not have at least had an alfresco BBQ?
9. No they could not. Helen has moved the furniture out of the way and hung up some ribbons and that'll have to do.
10. Instead of speeches they read out some telegrams from people who can't be there.
11. The wedding bouquet looks A: fake. And B: like it's just been dragged out of a hedge on the street. Mrs Mangle is the one who catches it.
12. The food is chaotic - Mrs Mangle's gone straight for the cake as soon as they arrive from the church but the alternative seems to be just cocktail glasses filled with avocados and limes.
13. There's a mouse running around on the floor.
14. Scott and Charlene open their wedding gifts in Scott's childhood bedroom.
15. The gift that makes everything "extra perfect" is a "four-year apprenticeship at the garage". "Now we've got everything" says Charlene.
16. Charlene's middle name is revealed to be Edna.
17. After just 10 minutes at the reception, the couple leave and head out into the street to get into their 'Just Married car', while all their friends inexplicably sing Auld Lang Syne.
To be honest, I wish I'd left this whole episode safely in my memory.
