I’m told there is an age at which falling over becomes ‘having a fall’. But I’m not nearly ready for that

‘It was a scene. I don’t like scenes. I don’t want to be at the centre of them. Ever. But here I was,’ … Paul Daley. Photograph: franckreporter/Getty Images

First things first: I tripped and fell – I did not, as my family teases, have a fall or, even more ridiculous, have a turn.

Here’s what happened.