An influencer has opened up about her decision to take herself on a “solo honeymoon”, and why she is no longer depending on a man to enjoy her life.
As she entered her thirties, Brittany Allyn found herself longing for adventure and feeling fed up of waiting for a partner to join her for them, from travelling to having a family.
Taking matters into her own hands, the 37-year-old, who lives between London and New York, flew to the British capital in September 2022 to freeze her eggs and then booked the trip of her dreams to the south of France and to Venice, Italy.
The influencer, who has over 150,000 followers (@thirtywaves) is now using social media to share her experiences and encourage more women to stop putting their lives on hold while waiting for “the one”.
In a YouTube video published on Shera (@shera_oficl), a digital platform dedicated to empowering women, Allyn talks about her commitment to “celebrating love and friendship” rather than pursuing a romantic connection.
“I think everyone has days where they’re like, I want that, the deep romance – but mostly I don’t feel pressure to get married,” she said.
“I heard this quote once that if you got married at 50, to the love of your life, you could be with this person for 30 years.
“My longest relationship was around five years and that felt like forever, so 30 years to be with the love of your life makes me so happy, I’m not in a rush.”
Allyn attributes her positive outlook on life to her parents.
”I had really supportive parents, realists and they’re just like, ‘Britt, we want you to experience everything in life, to have so much fun’,” she said.
[They told her]: “Marriage is amazing. Kids are amazing, but it’s not this perfect solution and it’s really hard, not everyone gets a perfect marriage or, you know, perfect children.
“So they said, hopefully that happens, but in the meantime, go live your life – ever since I was a young kid, they [instilled] that into me.”
Despite her rosy perspective on life now, Allyn, who is originally from Seattle, Washington, hasn’t always felt as free from societal pressures.
During her twenties, she imagined herself as a mum caring for her family.
“My 20-year-old self was completely different, I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom,” she said.
“I was in love with a guy that I knew from high school and I thought: ‘We are going to live in the same town and get married and have kids by 27 or 30.’ And I would have some passion projects on the side.
“But I was just going to be a mom and never leave Seattle but at 25, we broke up and I have gone in a completely different direction.”
She continued: “I think [my younger self] would be in awe and also think it’s quite cool that what she thought was true in life was actually the opposite – anything that you think is going to happen probably won’t really happen.”
Since taking her life into her own hands and shunning the shackles of society’s expectations, Allyn realised a honeymoon shouldn’t just be limited to newlyweds.
Coining the term “me-moon”, she shares her travels on social media with her fans.
She said: “There are so many places I wanted to go, but I was waiting for that perfect partner, the perfect relationship.
“South of France, was one of them, and Venice, Italy, going on a gondola ride, going on an African safari, now that I am in my mid to late thirties, I’m like, wait, why am I waiting?”
“People really loved that content, I think I’ve probably had a thousand messages of women planning their own me-moons, it’s been really cool to know that’s inspired women to solo travel, and I would say you’re not going to regret it.”
While Allyn said the experience of travelling alone had felt empowering, she has also received backlash from trolls online but insists she doesn’t let it faze her.
“It’s always just random men that are trolls and I’m like, if it’s not clear, like this page is not for you so please leave,” she explained.
“I am not asking you to be part of this conversation, but it’s always misogynistic, insecure men that make comments.
“For the most part, though, my page is quite positive.”
For now, Allyn is focusing on the journey of freezing her eggs for future use when she’s ready.
However, with prices in the US far above those in the UK she made the decision to cross the pond.
”If that was not a biological thing for women, I would not be worried – if I was a guy, I would go until 50 and live this full life, but I don’t think that we can pretend it’s not there,” she said.
“Egg freezing in America is insanely expensive and only really big tech companies or big corporations usually cover it, otherwise it can be around $18,000 and so I couldn’t afford that.”
She continued: “[Talking about the first try], my body just wasn’t picking up the medicine correctly, my follicles were not growing, so after eight days, I had to stop.
“Hopefully this spring and probably next fall too I’ll try freezing again and so once I do that, I think I’m really going to have a lot of peace of mind.”
Although Allyn is content with the path she’s chosen, she knows it’s not a one-size-fits-all approach, and encourages women to discover what works for them.
She said: “Now that I’m 37, I’ve seen a lot of women go on different paths and one is not better than the other, you’re not instantly happy if you’re married, you’re not instantly happy if you’re a mother.
“In some ways, I think being more independent and single is easier.
“I can just scroll in bed in the morning, I can look up flights next week if I want to go somewhere, the world is my oyster right now.
“I definitely have real pressures but one life is not better than another, I think you just have to realise that your life is unique and you have to accept that.”
