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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Lifestyle
Philippa Perry

I’m struggling to feel like I matter in any area of my life

Woman standing alone among crowd of people in Istanbul city life, Istanbul, TurkeyIstanbul, Turkey - November 2019: Woman standing alone among crowd of people in Taksim square istiklal street, Istanbul city life. Photo motion blur and out of focus intentionally and originally
‘What you are longing for is less about being ‘important’ and more about being met, emotionally, as a whole person.’ Photograph: Getty Images

The question I am hoping you can help me make sense of the feeling that I just don’t matter any more. I’m 50, divorced, with three children (aged 20, 17 and 15). My ex seems to have given up parenting – to the extent that he recently remarried without even telling them.

My parents are elderly and my mother has been in and out of hospital, but they live five hours away, so it’s hard to help. I changed jobs in the middle of last year, leaving a company I spent 25 years working for, where I was senior and respected. And my job there involved helping people more than in my new one. My role now is in a flatter organisation and helps fewer people (but is much better paid). Finally, my children are amazing.

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