Papa don't preach, I've fallen for the One Bad Gun in Marathon. I don't care what people say about the V22 Volt Thrower SMG – namely that the battery-powered SMG sucks – because I'm in love. I'm in love with its homing bullets and the way its stocky stapler-esque frame is deceptively light, allowing me to draw it with the slickness of a magician with a back-pocket Saturday night special.
I'm in the minority. Within a week of Marathon's launch, I learned the Volt Thrower has a reputation for low damage and lower projectile speeds. Both of these things are true, leading to doubt in our relationship. Was it to blame for my string of bad runs? Since then, I've broadened my horizons – leaning on the Bully SMG, using more assault rifles, and even trying my hand at sniping with the Longshot – but after mixed success (I'll give you this: the Longshot rules), I'm putting my faith back in the One Bad Gun.
