It’s 4am. My flight isn’t for another seven hours, but I cannot sleep for all the nervous energy pumping around my body. I pick up my phone from the nightstand and methodically run through my list. I know I’ve packed, checked in online, messaged the Airbnb host about our arrival and my passport is in date... But what if it isn’t? I get up and check – again.
Perhaps I’ve watched Home Alone one too many times, but whenever I travel with other people, this is what I get like. I start panicking and spiralling over all the things that could possibly go wrong. I can’t help it.
This is partly down to the fact that I am very anal and particular, and don’t always trust other people to be as organised as I am. But really, deep down, I know what the cause of all this insanity is: I am an introvert, and the idea of being away with a large group for several days practically gives me hives.
Of course, I am being dramatic. And it’s not that I don’t like other people, nor that I have an aversion to spending time with them. I’m not a recluse. But I do live alone and spend large portions of my time by myself, so the sudden wave of contact – particularly when it’s, say, a hen do and I don’t know everyone in attendance – can be exhausting and over-stimulating for me. I also find that I get drowned out when there are lots of people and prefer one-on-one interactions or smaller circles.
When I do go away, I lean towards solo travel. I can do exactly what I want, when I want – I can choose to blow a fortune on a fancy meal one night and then eat crackers in my hotel room the next; I can wake up and get ready at a leisurely pace, should I wish; and I can go to that museum that everyone else will find super boring. More importantly, I can truly unwind and switch off.
But such is life that you can’t go through it without celebrating a big birthday, hen/stag do, wedding, family holiday or girls’/lads’ trip. It’s part and parcel of adulthood – increasingly so, with the rise in destination events.
According to research by Aviva, five per cent of Brits were planning on taking large group trips this year, while more still (22 per cent) were going away with family. Additionally, in exclusive data shared with The Independent, the travel insurance provider revealed that 49 per cent planned to travel abroad for birthdays in 2025, while 32 per cent are attended a destination wedding. Some 21 per cent were also attending a hen do abroad and spending an average of £1,616. That’s a lot of mingling and chit-chat – and money!
It’s why, over the years, I have developed certain skills and tactics – an introvert’s survival guide, so to speak.
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An introvert’s tips for surviving a group holiday
Plan in down time
If I’m on summer getaway with pals or family, I try to have a “sleep” by the pool, at the beach or on the boat. I use inverted commas here because, in truth, sometimes I fake it. Which might sound a bit … well, rude, but sometimes it’s the only way to get some quiet time and relax.
Become a helper
Another way to escape the mayhem when I’m feeling overwhelmed is to take myself off to do a task – whether that’s washing the dishes, popping to the shop (you can never have too many bottles of wine) or prepping a meal for everyone. This generally gives me an hour or so to myself or in a smaller group – which is usually enough time to recharge my batteries – and makes me feel as though I am contributing.
Seek out similar travellers
Finding similar personalities in the group is also key. Even if I’m not a fan of being with more than 10 people at any one time, I don’t necessarily always need or want to be in complete solitude. So finding another introvert or person who has shared qualities and interests really helps me feel grounded and still connected to what’s going on around me. I don’t want to be labelled “boring”, after all.
Go to bed early
Now, this one’s a little harder to pull off – especially if you want to avoid being called a party pooper – but another trick I sometimes rely on is taking myself off to bed slightly earlier one night. It just gives me a little downtime before the others filter off to their bedrooms and is particularly handy when bunking up with someone else. Failing this, I try waking up slightly earlier to enjoy a solo coffee in the morning before everyone else gets up – which is far easier to do when you’re in sunny mainland Europe and not in rainy old London.
Call shotgun
Finally, though no less effective, I sometimes ride up front in taxis. I can still hear the chatter and have the ability to interject as and when I feel like it, but I can also just zone out and watch the landscape pass by.
I’m not anti-social – I’m really not. But I know, for me, personally, in order to be on top form and not self-implode, I need to have some moments alone. As soon as I’ve replenished myself and recharged, I feel like a completely different person and I’m ready to get involved. It’s just not always that easy to say so when you’re away with a big group...
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