Donald Trump: president, real estate tycoon, casino proprietor, reality TV host, best-selling author, steak vendor, vodka hawker, and now… naval architect? Yup, in a twist nobody saw coming, Trump himself will apparently be personally contributing to the designs of upcoming US Navy ships.
In (slightly slurred) comments made yesterday, he confirmed that upcoming additions to the fleet will have his fingerprints all over them:
Trump: "The US Navy will lead the design of these ships along with me, because I'm a very aesthetic person" pic.twitter.com/eYoMmZ3V9o
— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) December 22, 2025
You might think letting a man with absolutely no naval experience, no knowledge of engineering, and a brain full of bad wiring anywhere near new billion-dollar ships that are critical to America’s defense would be a bad idea.
And you’d be right! Frankly, I wouldn’t trust Trump with a model ship in his bathtub, let alone to have some kind of veto over the U.S. Navy fleet.
This is fine
So what does he mean by him contributing to the design? Frankly, we don’t know. The “best case” option is that Trump is simply being consulted on some of the more luxurious elements like the captain’s quarters. I mean, he is right that he’s an “aesthetic person”, but, judging by the gold leaf nightmare he’s inflicted on the poor Oval Office and his chintzy Trump Tower apartment, the aesthetic is horrible.
What’s more disquieting is that he may well have some say over the overall look of the ships. This could get messy, as most modern naval vessels are carefully designed to reduce their radar cross-section. Trump grabbing a napkin and scrawling his idea of what a navy ship should look like may result in a floating coffin that’ll drag the poor sailors on board down to Davy Jones’ locker!
But we don’t have to imagine, as many X users chipped in with their ideas of what the new Trump fleet will look like:
This is so so perfect, so klassy.
— Tom Mallory
(@tom_mallory) December 22, 2025
Needs a Trump flag
— trico (@toyarico) December 22, 2025
Trump Class “Golden Fleet” Battleship if Trump had been left completely to his own devices. pic.twitter.com/IY0YeghLIp
— Mike Levin (@MikeLevin) December 23, 2025
— Ranger's Dad (@_mahnke) December 23, 2025
We can only hope that all this is a cunning plan to manipulate Trump into signing off on building some ships. Sure, there’ll be some very serious meetings where Trump expounds on how he wants the Navy’s ships to look, only for the designers to leave giggling behind their hands and promptly ignore everything he said.
