I love my life in so many ways. I have a rewarding job, I’m making stellar progress towards a graduate degree, I have incredible friends and community, plus I’m even reconnecting with estranged family. My cup is very full but I still feel grief and shame for how much falls to the wayside.
I have missed countless doctors’ appointments. My vehicle’s license plates have been expired for almost a year. I often apologise to angry friends and acquaintances after they confront me for not seeing them in months. My significant other says she doesn’t see me enough. So do my parents. I clock out of work and shudder at the thought of facing my growing avalanche of text messages. I panic whenever I receive an email that demands I arrange yet another appointment or submit to a lengthy phone call. The stack of forms I’m overdue to submit makes me feel so irresponsible, as if I’m the only adult alive who can’t seem to take care of business.
