There's nothing more dangerous than a bright idea is there? Inspired by Baldur's Gate 3 narrator Amelia Tyler's (hilarious) Dark Urge run – in which she rolls a real d20 to determine just how full 'D'urge' she goes – I had an absolute stunner: roll a real dice to decide everything. Wouldn't that be amazing? Wouldn't I see so many things I'd never choose myself? What could go wrong? With dreams of adventure, a dash of Wild Magic for spice, and some half-baked 'rules' I'd not given nearly enough attention to, my new sorcerer ventured forth.
Nothing could stop me at first. Giddy from rolls that had me exploding neuron-nibbling tadpoles, slaying pleading pink brain-babies (R.I.P. Us), and surviving Lae'zel's skewering glare, I bounded towards Shadowheart's pod like a proud pup just toilet-trained. "You! Get me out of this damn thing!" she begged from her eldritch sardine tin. Drunk on hubris, I wanged my die across its tray, and… Shar forgive me; I rolled a two. "There's no time – I need to get out of here," it decreed I say. Gods, no, I didn't want to see this; become this. I blurted that awful line, tried to forget her "if you leave me, I'm dead – please", and hooned it to the helm to bring the whole fleshy frigate down. It might be fine, I soothed myself. Just a setback.
