The first player to truly belie the myth the only way from Manchester United is down is Diego Forlan. A committed if profligate striker in two-and-a-half years in Manchester, Forlan was potent in Spain for Villarreal and Atletico Madrid, where he earned the Pichichi award for La Liga's top scorer in 2005 and 2009, coupling the golden boot in each year with the European Golden Shoe.
At the 2010 World Cup, Forlan added the Golden Ball and Golden Boot to his hand luggage when he left South Africa, where he was the only player who consistently mastered the infamous Jabulani ball as Uruguay reached the semi-finals. Forlan entered that tournament on the back of a matchwinning performance in the Europa League final, the start of Atletico's renaissance, and in the next year Uruguay's own resurgence was rewarded with the Copa America.
Yet Forlan is most synonymous with United, principally due to one unforgettable afternoon on Merseyside in December 2002. Forlan took 26 games to score for United (via a penalty) and he had three goals in 40 appearances prior to arriving at Anfield. Forlan scored twice at the Anfield Road End, where he confronted overzealous stewards who shoved him away from the euphoric United supporters.
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The first goal was, as commentator Martin Tyler acknowledged, a gift from Jerzy Dudek. United fans almost wouldn't have minded had Forlan not buried a shot he was presented with following a jinky run by Paul Scholes, but he did. Dudek was feeble again amid the glare of the sun. Scousers were soon glaring at him.
And crying. At full-time, a woman was filmed sobbing on her husband's shoulder. The United songwriters had a new addition to their tome to Dean Martin's Volare that was aired during a League Cup win at Burnley two days later:
Diego, whoooa
Diego, whoooa
He came from Uruguay
And made the Scousers cry
The United 2002-03 season review DVD increased its running time just to play the chant over the footage of the sobbing Scouser. 'Diego Forlan chant' is one of the top 10 Forlan-related searches on Google.
Forlan's wife, Paz, and friends are familiar with the song, although his three children - aged six and under - are yet to recite it. The Forlans will return to Manchester in May for a legends match against Liverpool at Old Trafford, where the chant is certain to be aired repeatedly.
Gary Neville told Forlan he would be remembered for years in the away dressing room. "That moment was great," Forlan tells the MEN . "We won the Premier League and FA Cup but scoring two goals at Anfield was a very nice moment.
"I remember those words from Gary. We were outside the dressing room, leaving to go to the bus and he came to me - and I knew it was really important - but I didn't know it would continue during the years that people would sing my name and remember that moment."
Forlan was already on his way to gaining cult status before Dudek's dropped dolly. A £6.9million signing from Independiente in January 2002, he was dubbed 'Diego Forlorn' by sections of the media as he hit anything but the back of the net in his first nine months. The goal drought was particularly painful when his dexterous lob in the final moments of the Champions League semi-final against Bayer Leverkusen was nodded off the line by a diving Diego Placente. Leverkusen reached the final on away goals.
Roy Keane prevented Forlan from taking a penalty with United 3-1 up on aggregate against Zalagerszeg in their Champions League qualifier. Forlan headed in that night - but was offside. He would have to wait five more games for the breakthrough, a penalty against Maccabi Haifa in the group stage with United 4-2 up. Keane was not playing and stand-in captain David Beckham was more charitable.
Forlan's blockbuster winner against Southampton was enriched by his struggle to put his shirt back on in time for the restart. Seconds after lashing the ball into the top corner, a shirtless Forlan retreated to dispossess James Beattie before the kitman, Albert Morgan, redressed him.
After Anfield, there was a League Cup quarter-final decider against Chelsea and a Fergie-time winner against the same side in the Premier League. Key contributions in any title-winning season are worthy of hero status at United and that campaign's triumph over Arsenal was one of Sir Alex Ferguson's greatest. Forlan only tallied six league goals but they procured 13 points.
It has been nearly 18 years since Forlan left United and in his standout 2009-10 season at Atletico he bookended the team with a waifish 19-year-old goalkeeper who started the campaign as third choice. David de Gea was still 19 when Ferguson and his goalkeeping coach Eric Steele skipped a League Cup night out at Scunthorpe to watch him in the flesh against Valencia.
Nearly 11 years from leaving Atletico in the same summer as Forlan, De Gea is still at United and on the cusp of an unprecedented fifth Sir Matt Busby Player of the Year award.
"When he arrived with us in the first-team, the way he was playing, he was very secure," Forlan recalls. "Good guy, very nice guy, professional guy, a very good goalkeeper. You could see he was very young and he was doing really well.
"When the balls come to him he always doesn't give rebounds, he's always there, he catches the ball, he's good with both feet, he's one of the best 'keepers.
"When it came that United was following him, I said it's the best club you can go to and if you have the opportunity to go there you have to because you will love it. He made a good choice.
"We talked about it (United's interest) a little bit and I said to him it's one of the best clubs, you will have time, they will be around you, it's a great club with a great manager. Everything was good. If a player has the opportunity to go to Manchester United, it's difficult to say no."
Is Forlan surprised at the success story De Gea has been at United? "No, because I know him very well. We played, he was young, you could see he was not an experienced goalkeeper but he was a very good one. You could see he was going to get much better, so I'm not surprised. The way he is now, I knew he was going to be like this."
When Forlan was working for an American broadcaster during the 2018 World Cup in Russia, he was reunited and reminisced with the Nevilles, Keane, Rio Ferdinand and Ryan Giggs in the same hotel they were all staying in. Of the current United squad, De Gea is one of the few worthy of mention in the same breath as the aforementioned names.
Those names are a world away from this success-starved United. "It's a great club, great players, sometimes it's difficult to win titles," Forlan says. "Last season they had the opportunity, playing and losing on penalties against Villarreal (in the Europa League final) but now disappointed losing to Atletico Madrid.
"They lost that opportunity and have until the end of the season to fight for the Champions League spot to have their revenge for next season."
We are speaking over Zoom and Forlan twice says it is 'difficult' for him to discuss United's fortunes. He speaks more loquaciously about Edinson Cavani, his former teammate in the national side who has missed 23 of United's 40 matches this season.
Cavani did not play for eight weeks after Uruguay were defeated in the Copa America quarter-finals in July, requested to miss the FA Cup defeat to Middlesbrough in February and after Ralf Rangnick said Cavani would be fit for the Manchester derby, he did not check in at The Lowry with the rest of the squad. Cavani has failed to make a United squad after international duty, so his selection for Uruguay's World Cup qualifiers this month may effectively rule him out against Leicester on Saturday.
"I think it's difficult to say something," Forlan begins. "He had some very good moments and then he got injured many, many times and it's always difficult for a player when you don't have many games in a row.
"At the end of last season, he was doing very well, he scored many important goals for the club, to be playing the final against Villarreal. And then when he came back, he got injured and didn't start the season the way he finished and it's difficult when you get so many injuries. Hopefully, he can start again and have many games in a row because he's a very talented player.
"I don't know what has happened with him. I know he's been injured so many times, he's been unlucky. And did he have the opportunity to play so many games in a row? If he had that opportunity we would be talking about another Edinson Cavani. Because he scores goals, he's quick, he's strong, very physically strong, it would have been much better.
"When a player is injured one game and then stops and plays another two games it's difficult to get rhythm."
Despite his regular absences, Cavani is still serenaded warmly by the United matchgoers. His chant is unlikely to endure as long as Forlan's, though.
Manchester United Legends take on Liverpool Legends at Old Trafford on Saturday, May 21 and all money raised from the event will go to the Manchester United Foundation for its work with young people across Greater Manchester. Tickets are on sale here.
