Silence ensures that history repeats itself”. An Erin Gruwell quote that might as well have been the subtitle of the six-part Netflix documentary on Harry and Meghan. The last three episodes zero in on the two approaches taken by these warring royal factions and opens the cavernous breach between them. On the one side, the Sussexes’ decision to fight back against their detractors. On the other, the Royal family’s insistence on sticking to a timeless strategy — protect the Royal constituency by engaging as little as possible with raging public commentary, because only that way can the walls remain.
Except once you are into episode four, there’s little doubt that the only walls erected are the edifice of a luxury prison. We see life in a deeply unpleasant cushioned zoo. Are there any of you reading this who want to be born into that family, or marry into it? If anything, Meghan’s mistake was that she did want to enter, her early confidence looked like she was revelling a little too delightedly in the limelight. And maybe there was an element of that. I also believe her when she says she was terrified, and was desperately trying to fit in.
In episode six, Harry summarises his shattered relationship with his family, and describes “their misinterpretation of events” and how as a couple they won’t see “accountability” or a “genuine apology”. It was one of the few missteps in these last explosive instalments. With every retelling of a historical event and family row, there are angles. He says William was “screaming and shouting” at him during the Sandringham summit, but we don’t know in response to what. The text William sent Harry after the Oprah interview was no doubt extremely painful, but we don’t learn its contents, only its effect.
The documenting of their departure also lends an element of manufacture to this tale. But not for a second do I think they are overstating the emotional distress this rupture in their lives caused them. And I mostly lay the blame for this rift with the senior Royals, their advisers and the decisions taken within that institution, who come across as panicked and emotionally constipated. And yes, our former wonderful Queen was part of that. There is little doubt, when Meghan and Harry felt they needed support, that they got little of any serious merit, except put up and shut up, it’s the only way, when clearly for them it was not.
From Harry’s cancelled visit with his grandmother to the speed with which events were moved forward, this was an institution that hadn’t the faintest grasp of what it was losing. Nor did it seriously sympathise with how a young man whose mother died being chased by paparazzi might react when he felt his own wife’s mental health was collapsing under constant bombardment.
This series has been illuminating and yet, depressingly, it is what we have heard before. Diana stuck it out longer because there was no escape route. Harry was determined that Meghan would not go through the same. The tragedy is, I don’t think their exit has brought them any peace or happiness.
In these final episodes we also truly see Harry’s determination and anger come to the fore, they want to frame their story their way. Why is it so hard for the media to admit there is an element of our free press that enjoys chasing any salacious detail they can pick upon and turn into a ‘bitter’ row because it sells? And don’t we have the sense to see there were splits inside the royal households? This isn’t some huge betrayal of the Royals by Meghan and Harry. There is a bartering game the Royals play because they need to remain relevant and that means public exposure. They are taxpayer funded, so the public feels in some way we are owed certain intimacies. And that spotlight was exceptionally harsh on Meghan. It is incredibly tough on the women that enter that family. That needs to change.
I hope King Charles does give serious thought to a way forward. And it is my opinion that he should make a public effort at reconciliation. He knows that much of what Harry has said in that documentary has resonance, even if everyone has a different version of events. His son has only voiced what the King has said himself in the past. I don’t think Meghan and Harry can ever come back, but there is still a chance for a happy ending. And then, maybe, just maybe, history won’t repeat itself.
