Exactly 15 years ago to the day, Adele Morris stepped back into the same hospital where she lost her first born to start her journey to help comfort bereaved parents like her.
She hadn't made the connection with the date, until she realised that she was in the same hospital, at the same time of year. The 41-year-old, who has worked as a specialist maternity and newborn photographer for more than 20 years in Porthcawl, was there to start working with charity Remember My Baby.
The charity is one that struck a chord with Adele because it provides remembrance photography to parents who have lost their babies before, during or shortly after birth at no cost to the family or the hospital across the UK.
Read more: Andrea Byrne details the miscarriages she's suffered as she looks into 'hidden' grief
After losing three babies herself, she knows how important it is to have a lasting memory of your child.
"There are just no words to explain the depth of despair that a parent goes through when they have lost a baby," she says. "It is without a doubt, one of the most difficult experiences that a parent will ever endure, and 15 years ago I found myself encountering first-hand the loss of my first son.
"Looking back, I vividly remember how incapable I felt to share the grief, knowing there were no words that could make the situation better. When I went back to the hospital, I didn't put two and two together and first, and then it hit me that this was where we had spent our last day together.
"Then I realised the date, and couldn't believe that it was almost exactly 15 years since I had last seen him in the chapel of rest. I thought it was a sign that it was meant to be, and that I was doing the right thing becoming a volunteer for the charity.
"I didn't have any lasting image because I had lost my phone and didn't have a camera with me, and it was something I couldn't really contemplate at the time, but now wish I had."
It meant that Adele, who has three children, knew just how important it is for parents to have a lasting memory of their child.
"Knowing how important the remembrance photography role is, I was overjoyed when I successfully passed the verification process to offer my services within a very small group of south Wales photography volunteers. I had seen representatives from the charity at different photography events, and realised it was something I would be interested in."
On that first day as a volunteer, Adele found herself starting the photography role spending time with a family, photographing their beautiful baby to keep his memory alive, in the exact same room, in the Swansea hospital where she last said goodbye to her son.
“After delivering the photos, I took great comfort in the fact that the dates were the same. It was an honour to provide the family something very special on my 15th anniversary of being a bereaved parent.”
And Adele is pleased to see that 15 years on, there is a lot more support and compassion for grieving parents.
"The support was just not being there 15 years ago, counselling was offered but it was usually on the maternity unit where you were surrounded by happy parents with their newborn babies, so I relied on my school friends from the Amman Valley and family to get through the initial shock," she recalls.
Adele also wanted to help after trying to help a young girl she met when she was working as a photography teacher in Bristol in 2004. One of the teenage girls had got pregnant, but her baby was stillborn.
"I will never forget supporting the student who took great comfort in sharing the last photos she had of her precious stillborn with me, knowing they are her only memories," she said. "I remember not really knowing what to say to her at the time, but realising how much comfort she got from the photographs. You don’t just get over losing a baby, parents need support, and I am grateful that Remember my Baby was set up in 2014 to allow families to gain some support during the darkest moments of their grieving process."
The charity is looking for more photographers like Adele in Wales.
She says: "Giving back to families a priceless gift of memories is very rewarding. The grief of losing your baby never goes away, but I wanted to be able to do something positive out of all the sadness, and wanted to be able to help other families and it helps to have some understanding of what they a feeling. It is good to be able to help."
Read next:
