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The Guardian - AU
The Guardian - AU
Lifestyle
Eleanor Gordon-Smith

I have suppressed hatred for my stepmother. How do I have a relationship with my dad?

Cinderella at the Kitchen Fire - Thomas Sully 1843
‘The emotion of anger can be a way of insisting to ourselves that what happened matters.’ Painting: Cinderella at the Kitchen Fire (1843) by Thomas Sully. Photograph: Niday Picture Library/Alamy

After years of trying to be the good daughter, I’m finally feeling really angry about my father’s affair when I was just a toddler. The woman became my stepmother and I’ve always tried to be amenable and just move on.

Now I’ve realised I have suppressed this hatred for a woman who set out to break up my parents’ marriage. How do I have a relationship with my dad if I don’t want anything to do with his current wife?

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