Tamara and Brodie Mae met the father of their child near his house. He came out, gave them his donation – his sperm – then they went home and artificially inseminated Tamara, who had a baby boy.
The couple had first gone to an IVF clinic to work out their pregnancy options.
“It was a bit overwhelming, it was a lot of information,” Tamara says. “Then we had to pay $750 just from that meeting to … look at the donor list. I was like, that’s a lot of money to just look at a donor list.
“Then we thought we would just go privately.”
The couple are talking to Adam Hooper, a podcaster and sperm donor who is set to have his 30th child and plans to tour South Australia for a sperm donation “meet and greet” this weekend.
Hooper runs one of Australia’s most popular sperm donation Facebook groups. It’s one of many such spaces women (mostly women, either single or lesbian) turn to when the official process to find a sperm donor takes too long, or is too expensive.
Donors and recipients post introductions on the site. They might describe what they look like, how old they are, say where they’re from, whether they’re interested in co-parenting, and sometimes if they prefer artificial insemination (AI) or natural insemination (NI), meaning sex.
Rebecca Kerner, the Australian and New Zealand Infertility Counsellors Association chair, says the waiting lists for sperm donors vary between clinics but can be up to two years. The pandemic worsened the pre-existing sperm shortage. For some women the need to find a donor can become urgent – and so they turn to the unregulated world of online sperm donations.
The dangers of unregulated sperm
Kerner is just one of a range of fertility experts who are warning women of the health and legal risks of informal donations.
Thousands of Australians have joined social media groups that set donors up with recipients to avoid expensive, complicated clinical processes.
Experts say going through a clinic means rigorous testing processes, counselling procedures and legal protections. But in the unregulated world, sperm could carry infectious or genetic diseases or be of very low quality. Without legal protections, donors could claim parenthood of the child, or have the obligations of parenthood unwillingly thrust upon them.
Another issue is donors having unlimited children, who may unwittingly end up in incestuous relationships with their unknown half-siblings. Having so many siblings could also be traumatic for the donor-conceived child – if they find out.
Yet another concern is that, while many choose AI, others prefer NI. There have been cases of a potential recipient meeting a donor, only to have them allegedly push for the sex option.
Kerner says women needed to be “empowered and fully informed” about their decisions in a space full of “many mistruths”.
She says sexually transmitted infections were a risk, that some donors had such low sperm counts they should instead be considered “semen donors”, and that she had spoken to women putting themselves in physically risky situations because they were about to ovulate and therefore in a rush.
Donors were also at risk of being the unwilling legal father of a child, she says.
Informal donors are able to breach the caps in place across the country to limit the number of donor siblings (where they exist, they limit the number of births to five or 10 families) and the possibility of incest between them.
“What we don’t have is laws keeping up to date,” Kerner says.
It’s impossible to pin down the “sperm shortage” to a particular number, because there is no central register, and clinics may source sperm from a combination of overseas sperm banks, local donors and donors who are known to the recipient.
Kerner says while she’s heard of two-year waiting times, it varies immensely.
City Fertility Group, which has clinics across the country, says there is no shortage of “donated, registered and genetically tested sperm”.
Its chief executive, Adnan Catakovic, says the donation is free but there is a cost of about $1,000 to cover testing, registration, storage, transport, counselling and other expenses. Other clinics list costs of $2,000 or more.
Virtus Health – which also has clinics in various states – says for sperm donor profiles that are “in high demand” there are three recipients for each donor. But there was a 30% increase in donors last year, and the clinic hopes to reduce its waitlists this year.
There are clinics that say they have no waiting list, although there is always a delay for testing and counselling.
‘There’s obviously something not working’
Online unregulated donation sites offer not just a chance to meet a donor, but artificial insemination kits, vitamins and supplements, and even accommodation bookings.
The Victorian Assisted Reproductive Treatment Authority chief executive, Anna MacLeod, says regulated IVF clinics protect the recipient, the donor and the child.
“People who donate sperm through clinics are screened for infectious diseases such as HIV, which can be passed on to a woman and her baby,” she says.
“They also complete genetic health questionnaires which may offer useful information to a woman and her child further down the track.
“Another risk is that those who donate sperm through informal arrangements could claim to be parent of a child born, which could give rise to access or shared custody entitlements. And finally, there is a risk that a donor may not provide their true details.”
Donor Conceived Australia says the lack of regulation in the online industry “increases risks to the parent and child”.
“They don’t undergo the same stringent genetic and psychological screening as well as some donors only offering natural insemination to intended mothers,” DCA says.
Hooper says he decided “not to count” how many babies he has fathered but points to reports last year saying he had 25.
“I think I’ve got a couple on the way at the moment,” he says. “I had two babies born last week.”
Hooper’s Sperm Donation Australia site has more than 16,000 members.
Overall, he says, his site has led to up to 4,000 births since 2015, although the true number is hard to pin down. He says he vets participants but everyone should be aware of any dangers.
Hooper says clinics were only critical because they were “desperate for donors” and that he gets “this vibe” about people who shouldn’t be on his site.
According to Hooper, there have never been problems with people who have connected via his site but users should weigh up the risks.
“Should we shut down dating apps? People die on the roads – should we ban driving?”
“At the end of the day, be aware of the dangers. As adults you should be able to do something you’re comfortable with. If you’re not comfortable with it, don’t do it.”
Kerner says assisted reproduction clinics should improve access to find “easier, lower cost options for people”.
“There’s obviously something not working in our offline world that makes them want to go online to do this,” she said.