A passenger who was on a train that derailed near Stonehaven in 2020, killing three people, has said she no longer trusts Network Rail to keep her safe.
The woman, who has asked not to be named, was left with two permanent injuries following the crash near the Aberdeenshire town on August 12 that year.
Train driver Brett McCullough, 45, conductor Donald Dinnie, 58, and passenger Christopher Stuchbury, 62, died.
At the High Court in Aberdeen on Thursday, Network Rail pleaded guilty to health and safety failings over the crash.
The ScotRail train derailed at 9.37am after it struck a landslide, hitting gravel and other stony material washed out from a drain by heavy rain.
The train hit the side of a bridge, causing its power car and one of its four carriages to fall down an embankment.
There was a strange noise like metal dragging along metal. I will never forget that noise. I hit the window head on and I was knocked out— Injured passenger
It had been a Glasgow-bound train, but was travelling back towards Aberdeen, where it originated from, as a result of the torrential rain that had fallen in the area in the early hours of August 12.
Upon impact, the 32-year-old woman passenger was thrown across the carriage and out of a window.
She woke up about 15 to 20 minutes later at the side of the railway with the train behind her, completely off the rails.
She said: “I no longer trust Network Rail to keep me safe.
“I don’t know why I survived. But I feel lucky every day that I did.
“The first time I realised there was an issue was when the movement on the train felt weird.
“It just didn’t feel typical – it was like floating or sliding – like when you aquaplane in a car.
“There was a strange noise like metal dragging along metal. I will never forget that noise.
“I hit the window head on and I was knocked out.
“The carriage directly behind me was laying across the rail track, crushed under another carriage. I later found out that the crushed carriage was the one that I had been ejected from.”
The woman said she became aware “very quickly” that she was hurt and had blood all over her face.
She felt a bone sticking out of her left shoulder.
She has been left with permanent scarring to her face and disfigurement as a result of the shoulder injury.
Network Rail has offered survivors of the crash “very little support”, the woman claimed.
The company said it is determined to build upon the “significant changes that we have made since the accident”.
The woman said an opportunity to revisit the scene of the crash would have helped her to mentally process things and understand the derailment.
After the derailment, the King, then the Prince of Wales, visited the scene, which the woman said “made her angry” because she never had the opportunity to see the crash site again.
The woman said she has “totally changed” as a person and is a lot more fearful.
When she had to travel by train for the first time since the crash, to get to work, her mother had to go with her.
“I do still take the train – it took a long time to get the confidence but I’m getting there,” she said.
“I am proud of myself for facing my fears of getting on a train.
“I panicked the first time I got back on a train. My mum would come on the train with me so I could go to work.
“The train derailment was not an accident. It was the result of Network Rail’s absolute negligence.
“Network Rail failed me and everyone else on the train that day.”
A Network Rail spokesperson said: “To the families of those who lost their lives, we would say again how deeply sorry we are that this tragedy was able to happen.
“To those survivors who were injured, we are very sorry for the pain and distress caused.
“Since the accident, we have been working hard to make our railway safer and to learn the lessons of Carmont (Stonehaven).
“We are also determined to build upon the significant changes that we have made since the accident, which have helped us to manage the risk of severe weather to the network.
“We have invested millions to improve the resilience of the railway and continue to roll out new technology to respond better to extreme weather events.”