Some moments are so significant, nothing after them is ever the same. For some, it might be the birth of their child, acquiring their first home, or some other happy occasion, while for others, it might be something way less uplifting; but no matter how good or bad, they become a turning point in people’s lives.
Members of the ‘Ask Reddit’ community recently shared what such turning points have been for them after one user started a discussion about it. They were open and honest about it, sharing intimate details of their lives and just how much the events changed them, so if you’re wondering what it is that can turn the world as you knew it upside down completely, scroll down to find their answers on the list below.
On the list below you will also find Bored Panda’s interview with an associate professor of psychology in the School of Human Sciences at the University of Greenwich, an expert in adult development psychology, Dr. Oliver Robinson, who was kind enough to answer a few of our questions on the role of significant change in one’s life.
#1
My father caught me smoking pot in the attic, d**g tested me and found out I was doing way harder d***s at age 17. He then said he was going to send me to a rehab or he can d**g test me every 2 months until I was a year clean. He made me exercise 5 days a week and work in the family business. Now I have an active lifestyle and good discipline in my daily life, that moment looking back on it changed my life forever. I will always say I have the best father on earth...I'm now 30 y/o and married to the love of my life and think of that day a lot.
Image credits: Tahtooz
#2
My puppy climbing into my arms and resting his head on my shoulder when he first met me and I hadn’t adopted him yet. He’s now beside me snoozing in the middle of the day. I love him. Hes the best thing to happen to me and my wife.
Image credits: Valiancia
#3
My friend showed me a cute puppy on Craigslist when I was 19. He did this literally every day, but for some reason this one I said "I want him" and I went and took him from those owners for $25. I didn't even want a dog! Lord knows what possessed me in that moment. My whoooooole life changed. I'm a dog trainer now.
That was 11 years ago. He died in January. RIP Bugsy, you were the best thing to ever happen to me.
Image credits: sleepandeat4evr
Whether good or bad, life-changing moments can get overwhelming. There are, however, ways to try and cope with it all, and, according to Dr. Oliver Robinson, one of the most effective ways to deal with overwhelming emotions or thoughts is ‘box breathing’.
“This involves breathing in for the count of four seconds, holding it for four seconds, breathing out for four seconds and holding it for four seconds, and repeating for 5 or 10 minutes. This allows the sympathetic nervous system to reset and then thoughts and feelings are experienced as more manageable,” he told Bored Panda in a recent interview.
#4
I was in a dead end job that I hated. In a conversation with my Mom, I told her that I wanted so badly to be a registered nurse, but because I wasn’t smart enough to go to university I would just keep doing what I was doing. *I believed this.*
She freaked out on me in a good way. She claimed you’re very smart. Follow your dream.
I went to university. Became a registered nurse then nurse practitioner. I fucken love it.
FYI. I’m a guy, if that matters.
Image credits: thomport
#5
Deciding on December 2, 2019 that I’d had enough being morbidly obese. I dropped over 100 lbs im now almost 44 and i feel better than I did in my 20s. It’s never too late to make changes.
Image credits: JinnJuice80
According to Dr. Robinson, significant change in life can often lead to a challenging mix of sadness and anxiety. “When a person is going through a major transition in life, they may feel sadness over what they have left behind and anxiety about what is ahead but [is] uncertain,” he pointed out.
Sometimes, it doesn’t even have to be an upsetting change that evokes said emotions, as such events as moving into a new place can bring a little bit of everything – sadness over the times that ended, anxiety over not knowing what awaits, and excitement about… well, about what awaits, too.
#6
Once I was placed with the foster family, who then went on to adopt me.
Image credits: OliviaNicoleGriffin
#7
The moment I decided I was going to take responsibility for my own happiness and do everything I could to get out of a seriously abusive marriage. It was one of the most brutal and painstaking experiences of my life. I was told for years that I was “incapable of being happy,” and phrases like that haunted me, and made me doubt my decisions and my worth. Now, 7 years later I’m happier than I’ve ever been, healthier than I’ve ever been, and I have an amazingly supportive partner who is my best friend. Sometimes I take a look around at my life and actually cry with gratitude.
Image credits: LeaveWuTangAlone
#8
I was high as a kite on my way to work. I was zonked out. Should not have been driving. Like at all. I was ALL over the road. Left shoulder, right shoulder, oncoming traffic, you name it. I was so fucked up i didn't even notice or care what was happening. I somehow made it to a gas station about 35 minutes away without incident, where i feel asleep standing up in the line to pump gas (nodding out as we called it). Someone at the store realized i was driving and had called the police and they stalled my gas pump to give the police time to arrive.
I pump my gas and as I'm pulling away, i am surrounded by quite a few cop cars. The cop comes up to my window and tells me that someone called because they were concerned about me. He shines his light in my eyes and asks to see them. I bravely look into his eyes close up. I know my pupils are the size of a pin head, but i was so high i was confident as hell. I was no longer nodding out and was able to form coherent sentences and the cop just says ok, and looks down, and does the most disappointed head hung head shake i ever got in my life. The look of pure disappointment on his face made me realize how much I've been f*****g up.
When i sobered up i realized that i had been messing up really really badly, and things could have gone MUCH worse for me that morning. I am very lucky i am not dead and did not kill anyone else that morning. I am sorry to all those whose lives i put at risk the times i did that. I can't undo what I've done, but i try to live my life by the best standards i can now.
I don't know who you were officer, but you saved my life that day. I've been clean for 4 years now.
Discussing how best to manage your emotions in a time of change, the expert emphasized the importance of taking action. “When something bad happens, you need to take care of your emotions and stress levels and also take proactive steps to resolve it. This is a twin challenge.
“Emotion-focused coping involves breathing strategies, exercise, time in nature, sleeping, taking time out. Proactive task-focused coping involves actions to deal with whatever needs to be fixed, handled or resolved. If you are in transition, take time every day to ensure both of these challenges are dealt with by writing down a plan for both and checking off your progress day by day.”
#9
My friends wedding.
I was standing by her side as a bridesmaid, and I was picturing what my wedding would look like. I had a jarring realization that it would either be with my boyfriend, but not a single person there to celebrate with us. It would just any empty space with only me and him. Or it was going to be a wedding with a faceless man and a large crowd of loving, happy people who were so supportive.
I was trying to shake that feeling, desperately trying to convince myself that I was in fact in a healthy relationship. At the end of the ceremony, I went up to my boyfriend, and his first words to me were, "you look like a clown."
He was my ex by the next week.
Image credits: Odd_Newspaper_
#10
4 in the morning, I (M, 62) hear a thud in the bedroom. Found my wife (F, 59) on the floor. Massive stroke, right side affected, cognitive and speech abilities impaired. Just that quickly, both of our lives changed.
She survived, but is an entirely different person. I am her 24/7 caregiver. I can't afford to hire someone to come in the home, so I can't go back to work. Her income, beyond her pension, is gone as well. Financially, I'm slowly working through it. Losing over half of our income has certainly been a challenge.
Most Americans are one medical emergency away from ruin. Even with good insurance, I still have medical bills due, as well as the other financial obligations we made while still employed. Emotionally, it's been draining. Physically, I'm tired. But, I still have my wife, so who am I to complain?
Image credits: rotll
#11
When I was in kindergarten, my family had a house fire in the middle of a cold January night. I woke my parents and we all made it out safe. Our small town rural fire dept with a 15 minute response time, saved the house, which still stands today.
I just had my 5 year anniversary as a full time Firefighter.
Image credits: Overall_Top2404
Quite often, the largest changes or turning-point moments in life are linked to the people we love most, be it family and friends, or romantic interests. That’s because, according to Dr. Robinson, family attachments and romantic attachments elicit very powerful emotions when they are formed, disrupted or lost.
“The power of these emotions are of a different order to most other life experiences, and they bring a sense of meaning in life that gives love-based transitions a sense of profound significance,” he explained.
#12
This was actually less than 3 weeks ago.
I had made up my mind, wrote my letters, and had a plan to take all of my BP medication while everyone was sleeping. Like I said, I had made up my mind.
My brother, however, made me a valentines Day basket. It was so sweet, and when he gave me it, I almost threw up. I couldn't do that to my family. He was so happy, though. He always kisses my cheek and hugs me so tight. He knows I struggle with depression and anxiety very badly. He makes sure I don't feel left out. I'm the youngest. He's 10 years older than me. He doesn't know that candles, candies, and "I am donuts about you" mug saved my life for now.
Thanks, big brother.
#13
In 1992 my buddy and I had a day off from our retail jobs (this is in the bay area). We decided to go up to San Francisco to hang out for the day. **I decided I wanted to go to Sega's US Headquarters to "see Sega"** (fresh out of HS I had no idea this wasn't a thing you could do).
Go to Sega HQ and ask to look around. Bewildered, they told me to leave as this was a business not a theme park (they were very nice, but very confused).
As we were leaving, I was backing out and hit a car exiting the parking lot.
The man I hit assumed I was the kid of someone who worked there, so we ended up talking. I informed him that I was just there because I loved Sega and wanted to look around and we had a good laugh about it. Turns out he went to the same college as I was attending at the time, and had lived in the same dorms.
The following week, when I went to pay him for the damage to the car, he showed me around and introduced me to some people and told the story of why I was there.
Two weeks later I got a job answering phones for Sega.
Been working in the video game industry for over 30 years now. Done OK for myself. Had that series of events not happened I don't know what my life would be like today.
Image credits: albertpenello
#14
I was in full respiratory failure in the hospital on high flow oxygen and very near death. Then I received the gift of a perfect donor lungs and a flawless double lung transplant. Five year and seven months later I am living a mostly normal life.
Image credits: dealcracker
“There was some interesting research done with the terminally ill,” Dr. Robinson continued. “Although we may be socialized to work long hours and focus on work achievements, many who are close to death actively wish they spent more time with their friends and family. The message from those who are close to death is that it is relationships and love that matter most.”
#15
I grew up in one of those wildly sheltered ultra-religious families and fully, wholly believed everything I was fed through my early 20s. I remember the exact moment in 2016 when the pastor of my church told us all Christians had a duty from God to vote for Trump. Was the wake up call that started me on a long but ultimately really beautiful transformation of my worldview. Doesn't compare to stories of traumatic loss or tragedy, but definitely marked the beginning of the end of the person I had been my whole life.
Image credits: AtSplitsEnd
#16
I was 22, just stayed up all night the previous monday after selling blow at a party, but all the profits, I snorted up my nose. I was laying on a makeshift bed made from old sheets and couch cushions in a spare room in my mother's apartment, geeked out of my mind, couldn't sleep. At almost exactly 430 am, Perfect Blue Buildings by the Counting Crows started playing which is a song about addiction, and has the line "It's 4:30am on a tuesday, it doesn't get much worse than this". It seemed like it was talking directly to me. I never did another d**g in my life after that night. Now I'm 46, have a great family, just got a raise and making 135k a year, living in a beautiful home. It doesn't get much better than this.
Image credits: anon
#17
I used to hang out with a large group of friends. I was picking on one of the guys at one of our party. He walked over and poured a beer on my head. I was much bigger than this guy and it took balls for him to do that. The whole party stopped to watch what would happen. I had an epiphany while he was doing that and realized I had been an a-hole to this guy for years. I stood up and walked over to him, beer dripping down my hair/close, and apologized for being an a*****e. I don’t think he ever forgave me, but it was a powerful lesson for me. I never wanted to be the kind of person to pick on others & I never did it again. That was 39 years ago.
Image credits: truh22
#18
In February 2016, I was 4 days late for my period. This wouldn't raise an eyebrow for most people, but 1) you could set a clock by my cycle back then, 2) I was 31 with a history of promiscuity and the fact that I had never been pregnant up to that point had me pretty convinced I was infertile, and 3) I had just gotten engaged to a man I had been dating for about 6 months and had gotten a divorce around the time that started.
That day, I picked up a pregnancy test on my bus ride to work, tested as soon as I got to the office, and decided to go home pregnant when two tests in a row came back positive. I didn't want to tell my partner such monumental news by text, so I told him I needed to go home early and asked him to pick me up. As soon as he closed the truck door behind himself after picking me up, he turned to me, grinning ear to ear, and said, "So you're pregnant, aren't you?" We both just knew. Just like we knew it would be a little girl and I knew what her name would be without ever being pushy.
It was such completely unhinged timing on my part, and things could have gone so, so badly, but that's when I really got my life together. Something just clicked when I knew I was going to be a parent. I sought out much-needed psychiatric treatment, started taking my work and finances seriously, and stopped trying to self-destruct. I lucked out immensely. 8 years later, we are married, deeply in love, and have the most incredible 7-year-old. Luckiest break of all time.
Image credits: Beloveddust
#19
Finding out I was pregnant after being told my whole life I had a high chance of never conceiving a baby.
Image credits: StrawberryFields3729
#20
Probably tomorrow. I have a date. I've never had a date before, so i'm very nervous.
Whatever the outcome of the date, i will get an enormous confidence boost from it.
Wish me luck, guys
The much requested update: it went very well, guys. We went for a walk through a beautiful park, then went to a quiet cafe for some tea. We were very in synch in thoughts and we both felt very at ease around each other. The nerves we both had just evaporated almost immediately after meeting. We exchanged phone numbers (we talked only through the dating app before) and we agreed to meet up for a second date.
I want to thank everyone for the kind words of encouragement, you guys rock.
#21
Feb. 6, 2018. Pancreatic cancer diagnosis. 6 years cancer free now.
#22
11 Feb 2018. The day my daughter was diagnosed with a vascular malformation in her brain.. we were told she wouldn’t be coming home. That she’d be dead at 18 months… 6 years later 8 rounds of brain surgery we still have her.
Image credits: Lonely-Hair-1152
#23
2 moments - Mom dying and daughter being born. Both completely shattered my world in profound ways. One broke me and the other saved me.
Image credits: dickwestfront
#24
Deciding to get sober 35 years ago.
Image credits: harborrider
#25
When I got my first service dog. A dream come true for me.
Image credits: anon
#26
When my brother picked up the phone and offered me hope when I was standing on that bridge ready to end my life back on Jan 9th 2010 around 2pm.
Image credits: The7footr
#27
Divorce. It terrified and upset me. While it certainly left some scars it ended up being the best thing that could have happened. It triggered a series of events that made me the happiest and most successful I’ve been in life. Toxic relationships can absolutely destroy you.
Image credits: Sawoodster
#28
The moment I went into surgery for gastric sleeve surgery. I'm not pre diabetic, I'm not in pain anymore and I'm quite fit now.
Image credits: GenericBatmanVillain
#29
**Doing a spontaneous Google search when I was 18:**
Tl;dr: Quit my job/school, no future, spontaneously googled college, got in via special program, turbo boost my life.
I think I was 18 years old.. up to that point I was very undermotivated in school, dropping down in school level, getting 6/10 (the minimum) etc. When I was 15, I got a job at a webshop for computer hardware. Litterally some guy out of a basement but it was fun. Later I had to do an internship and just worked my job, getting their IT up to shape. Before I knew it, I was 18, mostly dropping out of school, working 80hrs/wk with no future in mind.
I knew something had to change because I felt a burnout coming up, at the age of 18. I went to my boss and told I quit. He doubled my salary but I still quit. What school I had left, depended on my having a school-related job and I had just quit that. So I was considering just quitting school all together.. I had hit a pretty deep bottom. Futureless.
Then three days later, for some reason, I googled my local college (which was several levels above my previous school) that my brother finished a few years back and was very pleased with. I don't know why I did that, but that was the EXACT moment my life changed.
Their website featured a temporary page that listed a government-experiment for people under 21 years old and without the normal college-prereqs, to enter a special 3 week program to get admitted to college. I signed up immediately and saw the form was going to close .. in 12 hours time. They reached out to me a few days later and invited me to do basic tests in local and foreign language, math, logic etc. Having passed that, they asked me to make a 40 page portfolio with several use case studies, old work experience, "where will you be in 10 years" etc. I triple checked my portfolio because you had one shot to submit it.
A week later they invited me again, I was called to another use case study test and then put me back in a waiting room. They called my name about an hour later and sat me down in front of two strict stern gentlemen. They started with very straight faces, talking about porfolio this, test that, such and such bla bla. After about 30 secs they couldn't hold it in anymore as they were massively f*****g with me. They started laughing, told me I was the ideal candidate for the program and had some of the best scores of all of them. And if I would please please accept their invite to get into college with no-prereqs and finish a degree. I went through a whole range of emotions and was so super proud.
A long summer later, I was accepted into college and was working hard in the first semester. I found a disconnect to other students who hadn't worked a job before and just came from high school. Two mentors pulled me aside and asked "What are you even doing here?".
My heart sank.. "Oh no, I've been busted. I don't belong here", my mind went crazy for about 3 seconds. "We don't think you belong in this program.. we want to bump you up to the otherr classes where you be matched with students with more your background and pass the entire program in 3 years rather than 4 years.. we know you can do that". I quickly accepted and a week later I was working with 20-somethnig year olds that wanted their degrees more than anything in the world. The next three years just flew by and I got my degree. I've never seen my family be more proud of me. The new college degree opened up so many doors in life, turbo boosting my career.
All of this, at the age of 18, also gave me a confidence boost to do more dating, romanticly. Via a dating website a girl found me (crazy huh?) and she wanted to meet. The old me would delete that message so fast, damn pranking kids but the "new me" wanted to see what would happen. Fast forward a few weeks, we're doing a bunch of videocalls on MSN Messenger, talking on the phone and set a date to meet. Fast forward 16 years, she is still the love of my life.
I strongly believe .. all of that .. because of a damn random Google search that one night, 12 hours before submission deadline. Super crazy.
#30
When I watched my wife die of cancer at age 25. It will be 30 years ago in July. We didn't even have the chance to start a family. All the plans for a happy future together gone. Never remarried.
#31
The day I called social services on my Mum.
I am a fair bit older than my siblings and had moved out years before. There were always issues, but when I had to temporarily move in with her as an adult after finishing uni, I realised it was a million times worse than I thought.
I tried speaking to her about the problems (almost all of them caused by her drinking) and she was having none of it. In fact, she kicked me out for saying she was drinking too much and immediately banned me from seeing my siblings.
I remember phoning my (used to be) step Mum and telling her I didn't know what else to do to help my siblings but phone social services. She told me it was the right thing to do. She also said "but you know this will be the end of your relationship with your Mum." And even though I did know that, her putting it into words really made me think "I'm about to change my life forever".
What I still find tough to get my ahead around though, is how I changed so many lives. My Mum's (who spent the last 3 years of her life without her kids), my siblings (who had to move schools and house), and my siblings' Dad's (who had them move in with him without any notice).
Absolutely no regrets, but I remember those days so vividly.
#32
A few years ago, I was slowly learning to walk again, after 2 years of a debilitating auto-immune inflammatory condition affecting my knees, which had made walking even for short distances extremely painful.
One day I was late for work and started running towards a tram that was about to depart, managed to hop onboard at the last moment.
It was only once inside that I realized I'd actually run for a good 50 yards without feeling any knee pain... I started sobbing out of joy and people around me came to see if I was ok.
Since then whenever life smacks me in the face and things are tough, I remember that moment of grace and it gives me the courage to move forward.
#33
Moving to Australia from England twenty years ago.
Flew out of cold Heathrow in October and touched down in Sydney at 6 in the morning to sunny blue skies, had my first flat white and later that night went to a beautiful garden bar. Haven't looked back.
Image credits: farpleflippers
#34
When my wife and I made the decision to move out of state. I have a nasty habit of sticking with things I'm unhappy with out of comfort/fear. This process got me to face that head on multiple times
Three years later, we both have much better jobs from a financial and employer, and career trajectory standpoint, and just happier overall.
Still have anxiety about change, but its a lot easier for me to face it now.
Image credits: SilverFirePrime
#35
The moment I had to honor my mother's wishes as her POA for health care and not have her placed on a ventilator. The hardest words to hear her say to me was just before she passed, " I want to die at home." There was just no time as she passed away only about an hour later.
Image credits: dlgirl81
#36
The moment I realized my mother was not a victim but an enabler of the abuse. It was easier to walk away and move on without feeling guilty about leaving her behind.
#37
Losing my dad to cancer when I was 13.
40 years later, losing my husband to cancer during the first wave, in a nightmarish replay of what happened with dad.
Both profound losses, and I'm still not sure I'm OK.
#38
Met someone at a bar.
It was 2008, I was halfway through what was supposed to be just a year of living abroad in Asia.
We fell for each other hard.
While I returned home as originally planned, it was a short three months before I headed back 7,000 miles east to “see about a girl”.
The relationship that followed only lasted two years, but in returning, I eventually met the woman I would go onto marry. And what was supposed to be just a year away from home turned into six.
Come May, we’ll have been together 14 years.
The other life-changing moment was being adopted as an infant. I went from an orphanage in Tegucigalpa, Honduras - a violent and impoverished third-world country - to nice warm and loving home in central Minnesota.
Been playing with house money ever since.
Image credits: anon
#39
The morning my 1st wife passed away from sepsis leaving me 24 at the time with a 4 year old to figure out how to raise, long story short she's almost 27 now and is successful in her career and very independent. I still internalize everything and never really mourned properly and it's hanging over me probably until my days are at an end.
#40
My family getting an Atari 2600 from Santa for Christmas.
Lead to my love of video games. Which lead to my curiosity of Japan since "That's where Nintendo is from...?". Which then lead to my interest in computer graphics. Which lead to me studying CG at school. Which then lead to me moving to Japan with the hope of making games. Which lead me to finally making games in Japan.
#41
Leaving and moving 7000km away over night. Saved my life in so many ways.
#42
I swiped right and have now been married for 5 years. Tinderella story.
Image credits: bigbiscuit13
#43
January 22nd, 2019 I set up an ancestry tree out of boredom at 3:30am. I couldn’t fall asleep.
4 days later on January 26th, 2019 at the ripe age of 15 coming on 16, I found out that I’m the 10th great granddaughter of Martha Carrier (one of the executed Salem “Witches”). Did more research to confirm it and it was all real. I looked in the mirror that morning and was questioning who I really was, or if I was going insane, because I couldn’t believe it.
Got a tattoo to memorialize her when I turned 18.
#44
When I separated from the woman with whom I thought I would have a formed future, I had already made plans and I found out that she was cheating on me with many people. That changed my life and my way of being.
Image credits: KtlavskoX
#45
I was engaged in 2012, and it ended very badly. It was the catalyst that made me start living life for myself, and pushing through the fear instead of shying away from it. I had the most fantastic decade of my life following this period and I’m grateful that it happened.
#46
When I was 22, I had graduated college. I was accepted to a prestigious postgrad program but decided to postpone a year to save money. Plus, given that I had literally worked a full-time job to pay my way through school, I was exhausted.
Three months later, my father died suddenly. He, an architect, had almost no savings and could never be bothered to get a life insurance policy. Had my mother's mother not died six months later, she would have been in the poor house.
My two brothers and my sister all lived elsewhere, so it was on me to help her out. So I shelved grad school to help her out.
Mind you, I've had a good career, married a fantastic woman, and we've raised three awesome kids together. So it's all worked out. At the same time, I always wondered what would have happened when, upon reaching that fork in the road, I had gone in the other direction.
#47
Finding out that I can’t have kids. It’s been extremely heart breaking and soul crushing. I’m not the same person I was before I found out. Now I’m having to learn how to live life differently than I had originally planned.
Yes, there are other options such as adoption (IVF isn’t a choice for me, it wouldn’t work) but it’s still heartbreaking.
#48
Having a kid. I was working on my masters thesis o during the summer a couple years back, met a girl late June, a month later before my birthday early august I found out I was going to be a dad. Now I have this little 2 year old little girl who looks like me, who i saw come into this world and named her, with me in this journey we call life. She’s spoiled as hell and bad as hell at times but she’s also pretty ducking funny.
#49
Went to a late night food establishment where I was getting into an argument with someone (I was beyond drunk and I would never willingly fight someone) for no apparent reason. My buddy decided we just leave the spot and avoid further confrontation. However that didn't end well.
Woke up wondering why I was at the hospital. The next morning my parents told me that I had been there for two weeks, where they put me into a d**g induced coma to help stop the brain swelling.
After we left the establishment during the night of the incident, the same group with the dude that I was arguing with came from behind us and sucker punched me in the face. I immediately hit the ground and suffered a TBI / hairline fracture around the entire back side of my head from ear to ear. I have no recollection of any of this happening since I was at about a .25 BAC level.
Fortunately I was a poor college graduate on my parents insurance still. The hospital bill was 110,095.
Lost my sense to smell and to taste and 2 weeks of my life.
#50
Birth, adoption, falling in love, having my heart broken, falling in love again, marriage, son, daughter.
