Listen, 2020 wasn’t my best year. I spent a lot of time in my bathtub – actually, a large clear storage tub in the bottom of my shower – eating bread I certainly didn’t make, and watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Clear plastic, I discovered to my horror, is a material that fares best when it doesn’t have your flesh pressed right up against it. So I made a healthy decision to buy some workout equipment online and slowly wean myself off bathtime.
Looking on Facebook Marketplace, I found a pilates reformer, a sort of bed on rails, a lie-down trampoline, with resistance straps for your arms and legs. They are usually very expensive – at least A$2,000 (£1,560) – but this one was listed for A$500. Absolute bargain! The seller was a man named Jacob (not his real name) in Adelaide, thousands of kilometres away from me in Melbourne, and certainly beyond the 5km radius the lockdown allowed us to travel. No matter – he would courier it. Legend!
