I’m a lumberjack and I’m OK, really... I’m OK, I mutter to myself for encouragement as I dangle from an 80ft tree.
Having the upper body strength of a yoghurt, I am not a natural climber, but I was doing OK until I kicked my shoe spike into a loose bit of bark, lost my balance and fell from the trunk.
It is the first time I’ve worn climbing spikes, and thankfully, my instructor Dave Dobedoe is holding the security rope, so there is no chance of me plunging to my death. Instead, I’m just red-faced and swinging in a harness like Boris Johnson on the Olympics zipline – Union Jacks not included.