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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Lifestyle
Philippa Perry

I crave connection with my siblings – but they are toxic

Four women, in their 50s, sitting in a row in yoga gear, and laughing together
‘Can friends satisfy my need for sibling connection?’ Photograph: Johner Images/Getty Images/Johner RF

The dilemma I feel very alone in my family. I’m in my mid-50s and happily married. My parents are both dead. I have five siblings.

My mother was a narcissist, which screwed us all up. I’m years into therapy and it’s been brilliant. My self-hatred is almost behind me, and I finally feel a lot more joy. My siblings are mostly toxic to varying degrees. Two of them are also in therapy, both still experience pain which can get dumped on to me, and I’m always having to tread carefully around their reactions. This has got exhausting. The toxicity from the other three siblings has been worse; they exclude me, tell lies about me, and can just be downright nasty.

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