The concept of family is still very important in our society. We say that our values and what kind of person we are come from our family. Yet the reality is that more and more children don't maintain contact with their parents once they leave the nest.
A shift in values is the main reason experts cite when it comes to family estrangement. Shontel Cargill, LMFT, explained to Vogue that adults now prioritize their mental health and well-being. They choose to cut off their toxic or abusive family members to safeguard their emotional health.
So, when one person asked on Quora, "Why did you disown your parents?", many people came forward with their stories. People say that sharing helps, so if you'd like to tell us your family estrangement story, feel free to do so in the comments below. Us Pandas are usually very supportive of one another!
#1
Image credits: Pat Nelson
#2
It took me a long time in my life to disown my father forever, for good, not looking back ever, and I am so much happier since I did. I did spend months or even a full year not talking to the guy and not taking his calls, but my mom always made me feel guilty after some time, until I was able to tell her: “Mom, I want him gone from my life forever, I don’t want to see him ever again or speak with him ever again and if you even mention him again, I’m also cutting you out of my life.”
I was so harsh with my mother because that was the only way to make her back off, to make her understand how much the man she married (and gave me his genetic information) hurt me, every time I saw him. He was physically and emotionally abusive to me until I was 12 years old. At that age, he hit me and I was so angry because he had hit me just for existing, that I hit back and the next thing I knew, I had supernatural strength from the adrenaline and he was on the floor begging that I stop hitting him. After that time, he never hit me again but the emotional abuse continued.
He was also economically abusive, to my mom and later to me when I started working at 16. He stole money I was saving to buy something I wanted, and when I confronted him, he said he had every right to take that money since he had fed me and gave me a roof for 16 years. He also said that everything I owned was his, and he had the right to keep my stuff when I moved out. I had to sneak out at 2 a.m with just a bag of clothes, in order to move out of there.
When I was in my 20s, he insisted that I had to break up with my boyfriend and introduced me to random guys telling me “you should be dating him instead of your boyfriend” (luckily not in front of the guys, but still). However, the worse came when he found out that I was bisexual and not dating men anymore. He confronted me about it at a restaurant and I admitted it. He started yelling and I thought he was going to stab me with the knife, and I believe he had the thought but noticed everyone at the restaurant was looking at him and didn’t do it. I left and that’s when I didn’t speak to him for a year, until my mom insisted that he had “changed” and that he “accepted” my relationship. Of course he never did and he made plentiful of hurtful comments, both to me and my partner.
Every time I saw my father in my adult life, he would pretend to be nice for a while and then at some point he’d yell to me or say something hurtful, I cut him out of my life for months, and then my mother would again do the show of “but he chaaaaaaaaaaanged!”. He never did change of course. He didn’t apologize, not even once. Every time I confronted him about how badly he treated me, what I told him was “I’m willing to forgive and forget the past but I need you to understand how you hurt me, so you don’t do it anymore”. Every time I told him that, he’d start speaking about his own childhood and how his childhood was so difficult for him, and never acknowledged or validated my feelings or his own role about the difficulties in my childhood.
The last straw for me was a few years ago. He was in the hospital, in intensive care, but they allowed two people at a time to visit. I went in with my father in law. My father started insulting my FIL and my partner (who wasn’t there but still). When we left, my FIL was generous and told me “don’t worry about what he told me, it was probably the medication”. But I knew that it wasn’t true and that every word that my father had said, was exactly what he thought. And I decided to protect myself and protect the family I choose. And that’s why I’ll never see the man again and when he dies I won’t be to his funeral, I just don’t care about him. He made me not care.
Image credits: Meredith von Lasher
#3
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#4
After about 14 years of emotional abuse I disowned my father
I was not that child who run out to welcome ‘'father’ home from work. In fact I stayed inside and my stomach would twist in knots so much I had to run to the toilet and have stomach cramps, especally when he was late home which meant certain trouble because he had been drinking and very short tempered.
My stomach knots where like Oh no whats going to happen? Dinner is ruined, down it goes to the floor, another broken plate, Mother gets punched, another brused rib or two. I sit quietly crying wanting it to stop and this went on for years, The Police where called a few times by the neighbours, That horrid noise of crying and his yelling and hitting
One day I seen the worst, I was inside looking out the window to the back yard with my mothers back towards me and him facing me. Some angry look on his face and some angry words said and then he punched her in the face and she goes down knocked out and he proceeded to kick her all over, I was shocked, stunned and horrifie. Tears flowing down my face wanting this horror to stop. Who will stop it? I was 7 or so and then made a promise to never marry, And I never had
After their devorce, he could not let go, he would find us and harras my mother to take him back and we had to move to get away from him until he finds us again and on it went, During this time I went to a few different schools and why bother making friends because we might have to move again and we did again and again. I had no social life outside of school and now still not devolped socially considering my age.
Never had a relationship, just 2 brief flings. Tried to k*ll myself 3 times. Drink and drugs from late teens to about early 30s. Almost died from a dirty needle.
Never seen or talked to my father for 30 odd years till my mother heard on the grape vine he might of died, Find out she tells me and if it's true I can lay my ghosts to rest, I find out and it's true, some ghosts are gone but some won't go very easy, I have lots of stuff bottled up inside, Anger and unused Love, horrid lonelines to name a few Also found out he was married 8 times, I am from the 1st and I knew about the 2nd which ended like the 1st, How many other lifes are ruined? Sad.
Image credits: Robi Stephens
#5
I was adopted by my maternal aunty when I was 4 and, looking back, it was the absolute worst thing for both of us. I was always told she has desperately wanted a daughter, as she already had two boys, but I honestly believe she hated me.
From the constant put-downs, constant surveillance and insults, my breaking point was when she swung for me because I had apparently shut a door too loudly- as she dropped me off at work. The only way I avoided a black eye was by throwing my hands up and blocking her, and then tumbling out of my own car.
It was a eureka moment and I realised I could take no more. I left, trying to take one small bag and my laptop with me (not something she had bought me, something I had been given by a trust for my writing). She told me if I left, I left with nothing - and so I said ‘fine’ and walked out of the door.
Disowning her, and by default, my uncle, who would never disagree with her, changed my life to the extreme. The first few months were the hardest - I was sick, constantly in fear that she would turn up and kidnap me at any point. I quit my steady job for most part in the fear that she knew where I would be (the other part was the fact I could not drive and i had to rely on others to ferry me around). I was paranoid and heart-broken and angry and sad and a mess of emotions sailing in a sea of relief.
The rest of my family all responded negatively to my leaving, saying she made one mistake and she spent every night crying (I had seen her cry just once). My oldest adopted brother (cousin) called me a few names and the younger one failed to say anything to me - and never has since. My Nan cried and asked me to go home. It hurt to see them hurt - but I still did not go back.
After a few months, I was no longer technically ‘homeless’ (I had mainly sofa surfed as I didn’t want to put pressure on my boyfriend as we had been together only three months; not very long to be moving in, but one I caved in to once I realised I loved him, it made sense and it was less stressful).
I had a job at a local cafe and had started driving lessons with a new instructor who even discounted my lessons when I told him the truth. I had met with another aunty and uncle and started to reveal what had gone on behind closed doors and they started to say they had suspected things were bad. My boyfriend was absolutely amazing and his mum was great as well for letting me move in with them.
I started to feel like a weight was gone from my shoulders; not all at once, but gradually. And I felt like I could suddenly take a breath. It finally started to feel like living and that was the most shocking part for me. I was used to living in constant fear and now I had started to smile and mean it.
Its been over four years now (I’m 22) and I can honestly say that if I had not left, I would have ki*led myself. It’s a very big thing to say, but I was dying slowly and was at the end of what I could bear to live with. I hated myself and I don’t understand why she didn’t love me, what I had done to make her hate me so and that was worse than anything else. Loving someone that does not love you back is hard at the best of times, but for a mother not to love someone she had to chosen to take care of is a slow poison.
I will always be thankful I escaped, but there are the regrets I will always carry with me - my Nan still gets so upset about it and I hate to hurt her, and I have no contact with one of my brother’s (youngest out of the two) or my adopted father. I hate that she hasn’t seen my little house, or seen that I have a good job, or loved my boyfriend like the rest of my family. But I doubt she ever would have wanted any of those things, so maybe it is my regret wishing she had cared.
I will not and will never regret the choices I have made to get me here.
Image credits: Hailstorm
#6
My parents divorced when I was young. Both my parents remarried and had children with their new spouses. My parents' new lives did not include me.
My father left when I was in middle school after he became wealthy. He left me behind because he did not want his new prestigious employer and rich friends to know he had a child from a previous marriage and a mentally ill abusive ex-wife. My step-mother hated me due to the drama my mother caused.
I grew up with my mother and step-father. My mother and step-father were incredibly abusive toward me. I often got locked in my bedroom for days. I needed special permission to use the bathroom. My last name was viewed as a curse word therefore I was forbidden to say it. My mother made me do the dishes using dish soap I was allergic to, she laughed when my hands blistered. My step-father forbid me from eating 'his food’ so I ate mainly at school. I often was forced to spend holidays alone in my room while the 'family’ celebrated in the living room. My birthday often got forgotten. My mother referred to me often as 'you stupid worthless piece of s**t’. She dressed me in cheap baggy unisex clothes in which I got bullied for at school. These are just a few examples. At 18 she and my step-father kicked me out of the house. At 18 I started adulthood alone, with no job, no money, no car, little life skills, etc.
My parents refused to fill out FAFSA so I was denied financial aid for college. Financial aid for college is based on your parents income until you are 24. I was expected to foot the bill myself while supporting myself on a $15,000 yearly income. Since I had no degree I only could find work at low paying jobs. My mother worked for a university where her kids could attend for free. My mother refused to complete the paperwork then told the university I wasn't her kid. She laughed as she continued to screw me over. I tracked down my absent father and he refused to help me.
My 'parents’ tell everyone I'm either this horrible monster or I'm not their child. They raised their kids (my half siblings) to hate me and believe I'm not family. My parents loved my half siblings and raised them with love. My half siblings got off to a good start in life with their college paid for, cars bought for them, they got to live at home until they could financially support themselves, my parents introduced them to others (networking), etc.
I discovered my father not only became wealthy but became well known as well. He's met famous people. He's traveled. He vacations in Paris often. He became wealthier by the year and sat back as I got abused and struggled.
I no longer speak to my 'parents’ or other relatives that believe the lies. My parents are the most evil, selfish, pieces of crap I've ever met.
Image credits: Kat Elizabeth
#7
I could no longer stand by and watch them enable my brother.
My brother is abusive (emotionally and physically - he has sent my father to the hospital), mentally ill, and addicted to drugs. He is diagnosed with Bipolar I with psychosis and with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. He is unable to take responsibility for his own actions and frequently blames my parents for his numerous issues, despite living under their roof, and swings back and forth between worshipping them and accusing them of horrendous things.
The violence is the worst part. He’s almost 30 and my parents are in their 60s. For the past ten years, I’ve expected a knock on my door and the inevitable news that he’s k*lled them. I’ve cried and begged my parents to kick him out. Put an end to it. They have gotten a restraining order, but quickly had it retracted so he could move back in. The abuse continues. And so on. It’s been so stressful for me that I had a nervous breakdown a few years ago.
My father has repeatedly stated that he can’t throw him out. I distanced myself after the breakdown. I had to. I felt as if I would lose my mind if I didn’t. Nothing changed.
My brother recently began directing his vitriol toward me. I knew this marked the beginning of the end. I knew my parents would allow this behavior to continue and expect me to “deal with it” just as they have. They both claimed to understand why I needed my distance, but my father would often make comments like, “I wish I could just run away” or “it’s hard for me, too.” This made me feel guilty that I was placing my needs first.
Once my brother set his sights on me, I knew I had to cut him out of my life. Because he is so deeply involved in the lives of my parents, this also included cutting them off. I also knew their silence and the lack of consequences would enable my brother’s poor treatment of me - and if there were any chance of healing our relationship, that would destroy it.
I specifically told them that if and when my brother was out of their house, we could contact each other again. Since then, I’ve heard nothing.
My mom did text my spouse. The text message read that she’d let us know “when [ my brother ] was out.” As much as I want to hope, I have no reason to believe that they will ever change. This is the choice they made. They choose to enable him. I have to accept that. All of this happened one week ago.
I’m still struggling so much. I miss my mom. She’s my best friend. I cry almost every day. Even watching a scene between someone and their mom is enough to get me going. I want nothing more than to pick up and phone and text her, but I know I can’t. I’m so angry that their shared passivity has allowed this to happen and they don’t value me enough to make the necessary changes for the sake of our relationship. I feel robbed of what would have otherwise been a wonderful family.
Image credits: Kate
#8
#9
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#10
My father was a liar and a manipulator. When my wife and I had first started dating and dad found out she had her own home, he decided he needed in. He called us with an elaborate tale of pancreatic cancer and him having limited time left. Of course, I immediately appealed to my wife/girlfriend asking her to take him in. She agreed, but on the condition he share info with us on his diagnosis. Turns out she was WAY smarter than I had ever thought. She recognized him as a manipulator and was determined to prove it.
Soon enough things began to change. Dad became very rude to the point of being verbally abusive. Had this been a few years prior I would have probably bowed out to him. Unfortunately for dad I had my Girl. She mad me smarter and resistant to his bull. Long story short, Dad got the boot. I still had not disowned his butt. A few years passed and my girl and I decided to marry. That was when he uttered the famous “ I’ll die before I let you marry her!”. Well that went over like a fart in church. I did marry her and I did cut dad out of my life for a bit. I thought that might be the end. No even close.
I didn’t see dad again until I lost my Aunt. I saw him at a funeral and decided to give him another chance. It wasn’t like anything could go wrong, right? Well needless to say, I got blindsided. Not by my father, but by my sister. By this point I was working for KBR in the Middle East. It was a good paying job and I averaged about $8000 a month. My sister knew this and hatched a plan. My father and I had agree to meet up at the airport the day I was flying back to work. Our relationship was still on the mend. The day before I left my sister contacted me. She told me that I was to deposit $5000 a month into her account so she could “care for my father”. And by “care for my father” I mean fuel her drug habit. If I said no she would “make my life hell”. I told the dippy b***h to take her best shot. Knowing there wasn’t anything she could do to me she changed he tactics. If I contacted my dad she would make his life hell. Dad was living with her at the time. I hung up on her. I suspected that my dad might be behind the whole thing. What could I do?
I did what I thought was right. I cut them off completely. Zero contact whatsoever. They tried to call, but I wouldn’t answer. They tried to e-mail, but I deleted them. In my eyes they were a cancer, and the only cure was amputation. Years passed and the calls and emails stopped. Finally, my uncle stepped in to try and heal the breach. I told him everything. Showed emails, texts, and calls from her. I left it in his hands. He said that he would talk with my dad and have him call me. I was now working in Afghanistan. I got a call from my wife. My Uncle had passed. Had he talked with my dad? I have received no communication. My wife then told me he had begged he to have me call him. I thought about that for days. My answer became clear.
No. I would not call. He had started this and he could call me. I talked with cousins and had a message passed to him. If you want to talk, you call me. He never called. More years and I received the call I knew would come. Dad had died. He apparently had gotten sick with a flu and refused to get it treated. It became pneumonia. Dad was gone. He basically died alone. As for my sister, she contacted me to give her control over dads affairs. As she was adopted and I was his natural child, I had power of attorney. I sent her a document from my lawyer allowing her to clear out his storage unit and bank accounts. She didn’t contact again until months later claiming I had never sent it. Considering I had sent it as a registered letter and my receipt showed that it had been signed for, I decided it was just more drama. I cut her off again.
Life is good now. I have my wife and child. I live states away from my home state. I found out my sister had my dads ashes and some family things. She left them in an apartment when she tried to screw my older brother
Image credits: Dustin R Martin
#11
#12
Because I am a victim of child abuse my parents k*lled my soul when i was a child + I don’t believe in rebirth so I want to live my remaining life peacefully no matter what people say and I will not forgive them no matter what…
#13
#14
I disowned my parents, grandmother, and baby sister.
Mom-ever since the age of 10, she treated me like someone she didn’t like. In fact, she treats other kids outside of her own like they are so precious, then she treats her two daughters like they’re special (not like other’s kids, though), then she barely spoke to me or my little brother. She’s also one of those people that acts so kind out in public, but is cruel to family behind closed doors. She does this so she can get sympathy from others, and make us look like the bad guy when s**t goes down. Once when I was a kid, she actually beat me for a very stupid reason. Not spanked, beat. I accidentally hit her in self-defense, mainly trying to keep her from hurting me. She then threw me outside with the garbage, and called my Grandmother and said I had attacked her. Grandmother held that over my head for years, making me look like I was a bad child. More recently, a few years ago, she called the police on me saying I was threatening and intimidating her. In reality, we got into an argument over the dishes (which I had been doing, and had just sat down while the dishwasher was going). She did this in an attempt to have me thrown out, since she didn’t actually own the house.
Dad-I loved him so much as a child. He was usually there for me, and it was clear he had a plan for me to run the family once I was of age. Skip ahead to 2014, I was living with him when he was hit with spinal stenosis…leaving him unable to walk and limited use of his arms. Night he went to the hospital, he told his nurse I neglect him. I actually avoided him because of his verbal abuse when he was drunk. Then a few weeks later, he said me and my brother were the worst sons in the world. Don’t even know why he was angry with us that day. We just walked in the room, and he said that to his doctor. I was so pissed I didn’t speak to him for two months. Things started getting a little better, but I noticed how his opinion changed of me. He went from calling me Michael Corleone (strong, future leader of the family) to Fredo (the family embarrassment). He started lying about how the family was treating him to his caretakers at the hospital (like saying we weren’t helping him work out, when in reality he didn’t wish to.) His verbal abuse got worse, though he was no longer drinking. I’d hear him and my mom talking about how ashamed they were of me, and my baby sister. He was very cruel to me. He yelled at me just for parking in the garage. It took my mom stealing $10, 000 from him to get yelled at the same way. Last night we spoke, he kicked me out for not making him a plate of chicken. Not that I refused to do so, he was mad that he had to ask (normally when I did, he’d say he didn’t want anything). He kicked me out and said if I didn’t leave, he’d call the police. I haven’t spoken to him since.
Grandmother-loved her like no other growing up. As a teen, we started butting heads. She’d actually disowned me twice growing up, but we reconciled. When I was in my 20’s, she started acting really strange when I went to visit her. She said to just relax and enjoy my vacation at her house, not worrying about getting a job or anything. Then she’s constantly angry because I didn’t have a summer job. She got mad at me when my then-12 year old aunt answered the phone in the upstairs room where I was staying. Though I’ve NEVER done anything to any woman, she basically said that if my aunt ever hinted to her that I’d try anything, she’d have me arrested. Later, said she would always take my mom’s side against me, even if my mom was in the wrong, simply because I’m a male. Obviously, I didn’t trust her anymore. Skip ahead to this year, the night that I was kicked out of my dad’s house, I had some money saved up and went to Georgia. She saw my FB post about my parents, then she leaves a nasty message on my Messenger saying I owe my dad an apology since I stole his love from my uncle (who he had raised as a son).
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#15
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#16
#17
She became overbearing when I had my oldest son. She would demand to “help” but flake when I actually asked for help, and stuck her nose in where it didn’t belong. She said she was going to make up for subpar parenting by being a good grandmother.
I drastically reduced contact with her for my own sanity. She assumed my husband was being controlling. One day, she came over unannounced and demanded to know what his problem was. He was calm and said he didn’t want to argue with her. She escalated and kept pushing the issue. She finally said that my father had m****ted me when I was a child because she was not getting her way.
My husband calmly asked her to leave our house. She pushed him and called him a piece of s*** in front of our 2 year old and 6 month old.
I have not had a relationship with her since. I do not know what to believe. I can’t decide which is worse…that she would make up allegations like that or that she would actually allow it to happen, stay with him until I was nearly 13, allow my sister and me overnight visitation with him, allow him to work at a school as a coach, and to wait until I was 35 to say anything.
I will never know for sure and I will never forgive her for that. I can’t even imagine other things she might allege if she isn’t getting her way and I can’t take that risk.
Image credits: Joanna Lee
#18
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#19
When I was younger, my childhood seemed fairly normal. However, as I got older I realized things weren't as normal as I had thought. Looking back, I realize my father took us on drug deals, had us in unsafe situations, was constantly drinking and being violent as a result. He was in and out of jail and prison while I was growing up. But he was my dad, so I let it go and allowed him back into my life.
As I got older, he kept doing the same things and making the same mistakes. Since I was older, I was allowed to decide if I wanted to continue visitations with him. I decided not to. As time went on, and he got divorced from his second wife, his lifestyle and poor choices continued to spiral out of control.
Eventually he was involved in a violent crime, where he assaulted another person during a drug related incident. He ended up in prison, again. He was charged with multiple crimes, including assault and r**e. He is currently serving a 14 year sentence in prison.
Although I have forgiven him for putting us through these things, and not being there like a father should be, I dont feel the need to allow him back into my life. I do feel like forgiveness is helpful, but reconciliation is not always necessary. You can forgive someone, without giving them back the power to hurt you again. That's why I no longer talk to my father.
#20
Growing up I saw my father about every 2 weeks since my parents were divorced. After being abused by his drugie girlfriend who was literally half his age and the lack of child support he wasn’t paying I eventually had him phased out of my life by my mother. After she died in a car crash when I was 15 I had to move in with my father. A man I hadn’t seen in over 4 years. I spent the night after my mother died on the couch of a cr*ck w***e my father was sleeping with. I woke up at 3 a.m. to see my him being chased out of that apartment with a butcher knife. You see my father is a very likable man. Intelligent, well spoken, easy going, handsome, good at his craft (concrete and masonry).
You see all these things don’t make you a good father unfortunately. My father is a 65 year old bachelor, he has 3 children between 2 different women and has never been a father to any of us. He’s always been a gambling addict with poor money management and an even worse temperament at times. This man live’s his own life, always has and always will. In my 25 years of life I have received exactly zero birthday presents from this man, and never received a Christmas present. He has blown off my dinner invitations and request to meet more than I care to mention.
My father has never been abusive. He never sexually assaulted me. He never stole from me. I cannot even say I dislike my father as a man. He’s just never been a father. He has no emotional availability, he’s selfish, and as a son it’s hard to stay in contact with him. After not being there for me my entire life and the little to no s**t he gives about me in adulthood I can say talking to him is more of a chore on my psyche than anything else. I have constantly thought about changing my number and just forgetting his. Now that my grandmother (his mother) has passed away and his grieving period is done this thought has just grown stronger, I owe him nothing and he does nothing but add stress and toxicity to my life at this point. I think the bigger question is why haven’t I disowned him at this point.
Image credits: Anonymous
#21
#22
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#23
My dad gave me an ultimatum: “[pay] first month, last month, and deposit - or - move out”. I moved out THAT NIGHT. I was 17, still in high-school, and had just been in a bad car accident which caused my car to be in the body shop for 6 weeks, for repairs, 150 miles away from where I lived. I bought a scooter to get to work, and stayed with friends until I could afford and find my own place to live. When I did find my own place, it was in an unfinished basement with no heat. I didn’t stay there long, and did eventually get into a decent place. I didn’t really speak to my dad much after that. He had a serious drinking problem, and he may not even have remembered it after he did it. Not my problem, not my job to baby-sit him. Later in life, like a decade later, we started speaking again and I did visit him so he could meet his 1st grandson. They had a great day together and I went back to my life. A few months later he got in touch with me about a car that I rented while I visited him. Supposedly the car rental company was coming after him for the cost of the rental, which I paid in cash, as I returned the car. Anyway, it caused yet another rift. I know I paid the bill in cash, but he didn’t believe me. He went to his grave with us not speaking. That is one of the only regrets I have in life. I did pay it, but the 200 or 300 wasn’t worth it, I should have just sent him the money and a copy of the receipt from the cash payment I gave to the car company. I have never rented from that company again, and will not ever again. Sorry Enterprise, but you won’t f**k me over again. I did enjoy renting from Enterprise many times before that, with no issue, but that is too big of an issue to let go. The person working the counter probably stole the money or something.
Image credits: Todd Kleinert
#24
#25
I disowned my parents. My mom because for the past 6 yrs she has been in an abusive relationship. We as a whole family have helped her, gave her money, gave her places to stay and so on. But she continued to go back. I just cant comprehend why. If all of these horrible things are going on why. It has started to cause me to become a person i dont recognize. I get so angry and violent. And thats not the person i am nor do i want to be that person. She was a good mom but made bad decisions, especially when it came to relationships she had.
When she would get mad at me she would say things to me, things you just shouldn't say to children. Even if you did apologize it wasnt right. Any way i just recently helped her out of the relationship again, and i gave her a choice. Either it was the family or him. Well she chose him, so i have walked away. Its toxic. And drama. I dont understand.
My father i disowned him because i felt like he put Batman and comic con before his family. I know this sounds ridiculous. But he literally lives down my road and would never stop. Never called to check on his grandchildren. Miss his granddaughters first birthday. Misses my sons 4th birthday. Pretend that he didnt know who I was talking about on the phone. And when i called him out on all these things , i was the bad person. I am selfish. I care only for money and i was a spoiled cunt. These were the things said to me. By my father. I guess i shouldn't have been surprised tho. I know he has a temper. But then he told me i was dead to him. So …. And now i have no desire to fix it. Ive bee through so much with them both. And its not the kind of example i want around my kids.
I mean its cool to follow your dreams like my dad does. I just wanted him to spend more time with his grandchildren. And my mom i just want her to be the woman she once was. When i was growing up she always told me to stand up for myself. And not to let a man put his hands on you. I just dont understand. So i just gave up on trying. I dont want to keep helping if she is going to continue this viscous cycle. I dont know if im wrong or right. But. I dont know what else to do. I dont want my children growing up, Seeing and being around what i had to deal with as a child. They didnt ask for this. I want whats best for them. And if that means not talking to them or seeing them than. Thats what ill do.
Image credits: Cheri Lynn
#26
#27
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#28
Image credits: Misti Wolanski
