Who knows what the world will look like when Donald Trump leaves the presidency? All indications are that large areas will be grim, smoking ruins pockmarked with craters, the perfect incubator for the rest of the 21st century to be locked in endless regional conflicts that’ll spill across the United States border.
But, of course, Trump won’t be around to see any of the consequences. He’ll be dead within a decade, his body rotting away in some mausoleum as we struggle to live in the nightmare planet he’s left behind.
So, after Donald “no new wars” Trump’s actions in Venezuela and Iran, what’s next? Enter Cuba, apparently next on his target list. Cuba has, of course, long been a thorn in the United States’ side. It’s not an active enemy, though successive presidents have maintained brutal economic embargoes on the island nation.
“A very weakened nation y’know?”
But Trump seizing Venezuela’s oil has left it particularly vulnerable. As of writing, Cuba’s electrical grid has suffered a “complete and total collapse” due to a lack of oil. Now Trump seems poised to strike:
Trump: "I do believe I'll be having the honor of taking Cuba. That's a big honor. Taking Cuba in some form. I think I can do anything I want with it, if you want to know the truth." pic.twitter.com/vOy9OoMgZB
— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) March 16, 2026
In its own way, y’know, tourism and everything else. It’s a beautiful island. Great weather. They’re not in a hurricane zone, which is nice for a change, y’know? They won’t be asking us for money for hurricanes every week. But.. uh, I think Cuba’s seen the… Uh, all my life I’ve been hearing about the United States and Cuba… when will the United States do it?
I do believe I’ll the honor of… having the honor of… taking Cuba. That’s a big honor. Taking Cuba in some form. Whether I free it. Take it. I think I can do anything I want with it, if you want to know the truth. A very weakened nation y’know? Uh.. very.. violent leaders.”
Spoken like a true supervillain. It is, of course, deeply ironic for Trump to be criticizing Cuba’s “very violent” leaders while talking about “taking” Cuba and that “I can do anything I want with it”, combined with Americans still reeling from ICE’s depravities in Minnesota during which they executed two innocent Americans on the street. Also, Cuba is very much in a hurricane zone, idiot.
That said, invading even a weakened Cuba may be harder than it sounds. Cuba has spent decades preparing for the possibility of a US invasion – even successfully repelling one during the Bay of Pigs fiasco in 1961.
Things are a lot different now, of course, but Trump should probably remember that his beloved Mar-a-Lago is only around 300 miles from Havana – very much within drone-striking range.
