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The Guardian - AU
The Guardian - AU
Lifestyle
Eleanor Gordon-Smith

I am in my 30s, unmarried, and afraid I’ve missed my chance. How do I make peace with my fear?

Eugene De Blaas - No Love Without Envy
‘One friend is happily married with her first child and already planning a second.’ Painting: Eugene De Blaas’s No Love Without Envy. Photograph: Alamy

I am in my early 30s, unmarried, and increasingly afraid that I may have missed my chance at the life I’ve always imagined. For as long as I can remember, I’ve wanted children and a loving partnership that embodies safety, warmth and a shared sense of joy in living. But lately, that future feels more like a fantasy than a possibility.

Many of my closest friends are in similar positions, yet one friend is happily married with her first child and already planning a second. Watching the tenderness and stability in her marriage is both beautiful and painful. Her husband embodies so many of the qualities I long for in a partner, and I find myself wondering whether that kind of love is something I will ever experience, or whether it simply isn’t meant for me.

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