I am in a long-term relationship with a partner I admire, but don’t love. Do I end it?

‘Sometimes a wreck to the life we have is exactly what we need to panel-beat a better one.’ Painting: A Passing Storm by James Tissot, circa 1876. Photograph: Wikimedia commons

I have been in an intimate relationship with my girlfriend for three years. All this time, I knew she loved me much more than I loved her. However, she is kind, honest and smart, so I did not want to lose her and thought I would give the relationship more time, hoping that my feelings will change as time passes. Now I think I made a mistake. She does not have many friends and she has been unable to relate to my friends either.

She’s very vulnerable and lives far away from her family. She repeatedly says I am all she cares about. A few months ago we became flatmates and that has complicated things even more. I feel if I break up with her she will be devastated. But despite everything I admire about her, I am not in love with her.