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The Guardian - AU
The Guardian - AU
Lifestyle
Eleanor Gordon-Smith

I am burnt out from emotionally supporting my husband. Should I leave him?

Eleanor GordonSmith
A painting of a man with his hand over his face and a woman clutching his shoulder
‘If you already want to leave, staying would not be a kindness,’ Eleanor Gordon-Smith writes. Painting: Woman's Mission: Companion of Manhood by George Elgar Hicks. Photograph: Prisma by Dukas Presseagentur GmbH/Alamy

I am deeply conflicted about whether to separate from my husband of 20 years, yet I am deeply burnt out from supporting him. He arrived as a refugee, spoke little English at the time, is from a very different culture to mine and has, as yet, untreated ADHD and PTSD. After much coaxing he agreed to couples counselling but we have now exhausted two therapists to no avail.

If I decide to separate I know that I will be far more supported by friends and family than he will be.

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