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A man has sparked outrage after his wife revealed he was lying about their marriage at work.
In a recent post shared to the popular “Relationship Advice” Reddit forum, a woman explained how she found out that her husband of four years – who she referred to as Josh – had been telling his colleagues that she’s his sister. After acknowledging how much she loves her partner and that they have a really “communicative relationship,” she then noted that three years ago, he started a job at a large account company.
She shared that while her husband often meets with his colleagues for “social events,” she’s entirely okay with that, as she hasn’t necessarily been interested in going out with his co-workers.
“I’m quite introverted so I’ve never been interested in meeting his colleagues or work friends, nor have I asked to. I’ve got my own circle of friends and I’m fine with us having separate friend groups,” she wrote.
When out for drinks with friends a few months ago, she was approached by someone who “looked slightly familiar,” but they hadn’t met before. When the unnamed face introduced himself to her, he revealed his name was Jake and that he worked with Josh.
After acknowledging that she recognized Jake from a few photos on her husband’s phone, she felt like her conversation at the bar got “a bit embarrassing.” However, it was during that chat that she first heard someone seemingly think that she was Josh’s relative.
“I struggled to end the conversation, but he just kept talking at me,” she continued. “But while he was talking, he said something like, ‘It’s great that you guys are still so close. I haven’t talked to my brother in ages.’”
Although she was confused about this remark at the time, she decided not to think anything of it, with the assumption that Jake was “drunk” at the bar. She also decided not to tell her husband she met his co-worker, just because she figured Jake “wouldn’t even remember talking” to her. She also didn’t want to “make things awkward” by telling Josh that his co-worker was “trying to hit” on her.
However, when she was more recently walking her and her husband’s dog, she stepped into a cafe, where someone she didn’t know recognized the pet. After her dog “was super excited” about seeing this person, she guessed that they were one of Josh’s colleagues, noting that her husband brings their pet to work often. From there, she once again learned that Josh had not been honest about their relationship at work.
“I smiled at him and said hi. He introduced himself (I guessed correctly that he was a colleague), but then he said something like, ‘Aren’t you a good sister, walking his dog for him!’” she added. “I was so confused that I didn’t even know how to react at first, so I stumbled on my words and just said, ‘It’s my dog.’ I regret it but I genuinely couldn’t bring myself to correct him and say that I’m Josh’s wife and not his sister.”
She went on to detail her confusion in the situation, expressing she didn’t know how to talk to her husband about this and that he was hoping the co-worker just made “a mistake” when thinking that she was Josh’s sister.
“[I’m hoping] that he doesn’t talk about me much at work and they assume we are related because we both have brown hair,” she continued. “But the thought that he has been telling his coworkers that I’m his sister (and evidently, they have seen what I look like, so they must have seen photos) makes my stomach churn. I don’t even know how I would broach the subject with him.”
She concluded her post by asking Reddit users what to do, noting that one of her friends had jumped straight to the idea of “plotting” Josh’s “downfall.”
The post has quickly gone viral, with more than 8,300 upvotes. In the comments, multiple people encouraged her to find out more about her husband’s dynamics at work, while also criticizing him for telling his co-workers that she was his sister in the first place.
“I think you are underreacting here. There is literally no good reason he has told all his coworkers you are his sister. I am so sorry. You could choose to ask him why or you could just leave,” one wrote.
I (28F) found out my husband (29M) has been telling his coworkers that I'm his sister. What do I do? Please help!
byu/ThrowRA-TakeawayCrab inrelationship_advice
“Does he not wear a wedding ring to work? Why does he need to hide the fact he’s married?” another wrote. “But this would send me into a tailspin. Find out as much as you can before confronting him.
“It’s not awkward to tell the truth, it will be for Josh because he is a lying jerk but that’s not yours to manage,” a third wrote. “This would not make me feel safe with my spouse. He set you up to be hit on by his coworkers this way. It’s not okay at all.”
In an update to her post, the woman revealed that she went through her husband’s phone and saw that he’d been referring to her as his sister in messages with his colleagues. She noted that while some messages with female co-workers “were vaguely flirty,” they were nothing “egregious.” However, when one co-worker asked him if the woman he called his sister was single, Josh responded: “Nah, she’s married.”
She explained that after a night at her friend’s house, she asked her husband why he was telling co-workers that she was her sister, he was confused and claimed he “had no idea” what she was talking about. As a result, she went back to her friend’s house, before receiving a text from her husband and returning home.
According to the Reddit user, her husband told her the atmosphere of the office was “like a frat house,” with all of his co-workers being “single” and “f***boys.” The decision to lie also came after he “noticed that the one guy in their team that was married would either get picked on, or essentially excluded from any and all social interactions.”
He claimed that after saying once at the start of his job that his wife was his sister, he dug himself into a bigger hole and continued the lie for months, which “he was really ashamed of.” After continuing to apologize, he acknowledged that he’d now tell his co-workers the truth. However, his wife confessed that she’s still not sure if she wants to continue the relationship from here.
“He said he knows he could have confessed the truth to either his coworkers or to me at any point but that he didn’t because he was a coward. He said that he’ll confess to his entire office that he lied and that I am his wife and not his sister if I want him to,” she explained. “He said that he will quit his job without a word if it would make me feel better and that he hopes I can forgive him but he understands if I can’t.”
