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Louise Thomas
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A man has decided he does not want to wait for his wife to be further along in her pregnancy before being intimate again.
In a recent Reddit post shared to the popular “Am I The A**hole?” subreddit, his wife explained that she was currently eight weeks pregnant and her doctor had recommended the two of them “not have intercourse” until she reaches 13 weeks.
The time frame didn’t bother her due to the couple having two miscarriages the year prior. However, she wrote that her husband had asked her for a “hall pass.”
A hall pass, a slang term in relationships, allows a person to be intimate with someone else as long as the two individuals in the relationship reach an agreement. Some couples take the term further by providing a list of certain people, typically celebrities, that they can use the hall pass on.
“As excited as we both are, my husband decided to ask me for a hall pass to have intercourse with another woman since we cannot. He believes it is just sex nothing more (me: rolls eyes),” the woman wrote on her Reddit post.
She continued, explaining that her husband told her that despite wanting to spend his life with both her and her children, he asked for this because he “has needs.”
“I of course got extremely upset and refused. I told him we could get a divorce and he could be with as many women as he wants. In case anyone wants to know, no he’s not cheating. We are together literally all the time,” her post concluded before asking commenters for their own opinions.
Am I the AH for getting upset because my husband wants a hall pass
byu/Smooth_Scholar_6244 inAITAH
After posting, the commenters went on to defend her, and label her husband selfish for not wanting to wait.
“This is just unbelievable. It cannot be real. He thinks he has the right to cheat because you can’t fulfill his needs for five weeks? There are going to be much longer periods when you don’t have sex once you have kids. And he will cheat, he clearly thinks he has the right to,” one comment began.
“Even talking about fulfilling needs is gross, he does not have rights to your body, you’re a person not a sex machine. Everything about this is ick. I’m so sorry, idk what to say. You’re married to absolute garbage.”
Another commenter agreed, writing: “It seems like your partner is confusing wants with needs. Marriage isn’t a convenience store where he can pick up an extra packet of ‘intimacy’ when the home shelf is empty. If he can’t handle a short-term change in your relationship dynamics, that’s a big concern. Remember, it’s not just about enduring the coming weeks, it’s about building a foundation of trust and respect for the years ahead.”
A third commenter noted how much she needed her husband’s support during this time period.
“And wow, he chose your most vulnerable time to hit you with the ‘I have needs’ speech??” they wrote. “Like you are carrying your child. You’ve had two miscarriages and he can’t wait five weeks?? He has ‘needs’? Well, OP, you do too. And so does your future child. Dude has shown his true colors and your response was perfect. I hope you double down and defend your castle. He doesn’t deserve you.”
