A husband has been criticized for refusing to make his wife dinner because she won’t make him breakfast.
In a recent post shared to the popular “Am I The A**hole?” Reddit forum, the man went on to detail his routine with his wife, who he shares two children with. He explained that his wife usually takes the “morning shift” with their children, which includes getting both of them up, giving them breakfast, and taking them to daycare.
He then shared how he’s in charge of the nightime routine, during which he picks up his children from daycare, cooks dinner, and helps them get ready for bed. He also clarified how both he and wife spend time with their children in the evening.
“Usually, she gets home around 6.30-7pm, and the whole family has 30 minutes together before the kids bedtime. We usually spend time reading to them,” he wrote. “She has to travel an hour [or more] (depending on traffic) to work each way. So the kids are getting to daycare at eight in the morning and I will pick them up around 4pm. I work from home and start around 7am and end around 3-3.30pm.”
He noted that the issue with him and his wife is their breakfast rules, as he said she initially agreed to make breakfast everyday for the family if he made dinner. However, he then criticized his wife, claiming that while she cooks breakfast for their children, she doesn’t make anything for him.
“For the past month she will either not make it at all for me, not tell me that it is done ( I have asked her to just give a general time but she keeps switching up the schedule),” he continued. “One day, they are eating at 7am and then getting dressed, other days she is giving them toast before getting into the car.”
AITA for refusing to make my wife dinner since she will not make me breakfast
byu/Striking-Jaguar3348 inAmItheAsshole
He expressed that when he told his wife “multiple times” that she was “inconsiderate” for not making him breakfast, she disagreed with him.
“We got into an argument and she told me I am home so just make my own food. I explained I may be home but I am doing my job,” he added. “Yesterday she didn’t make anything and I had enough.”
As a result of his frustrations, he didn’t make his wife anything for dinner and when she asked why, he told her “she is home and can make her own food”. He noted that they then got into a “huge argument,” where his wife called him a “jerk”.
In an edit to his post, he made clarifications about his and his wife’s routine, explaining that she has the children for an hour in the morning and he has them for two to three hours at night. He also explained that he used to do the morning shifts for the last two years, and the only reason that’s changed now is because of his wife’s schedule.
The Reddit post has quickly gone viral, with more than 5,300 upvotes. In the comments, many people came to the wife’s defense, acknowledging that she has a long commute to work and could be in a rush to get their children ready for the day. They also expressed how the husband’s nighttime routine could be a little less chaotic than his wife’s morning one.
“I think the problem here is that in the morning there is a deadline. She has to get to work on time and with an hour commute there is some variability due to traffic. So her priority in the morning will be speed,” one wrote. “At night, it’s different, because you won’t get fired if you don’t get the kids to bed on time. There’s just less pressure there. (Of course we all want the kids in bed early but it’s not the same level of pressure as needing to keep one’s job.)”
“I think a different arrangement needs to be made. Because if she has to get all the kids ready for daycare, cook them food, make it on time to the daycare AND get to work on time... I am sorry but make your own breakfast, dude. She has a large commute, and I am sure it will be a busy day at work. Everyone is busy, I know. But that is part of life with kids,” another added.
Other people criticized the Reddit user for refusing to make dinner for his wife, while claiming that he could make himself his own food in the mornings.
“Mornings are by nature more chaotic and less regimented. Expecting your breakfast to be served to you on a schedule is bizarre, grab a banana when you wake up before you work. Punishing her by not making dinner is also bizarre behavior,” one wrote.
“Dude. You’re home. You can easily have a bowl of cereal in the morning while you work. She’s getting the kids ready and out the door. Dinner is very different. Don’t be like this,” another added.
