When you get married, you agree to support your spouse through thick and thin. Every day won’t be easy, but your love and commitment should be enough to get you through tough times. In fact, facing adversity can sometimes bring you even closer together!
But some issues are just too big to overlook, and one man is wondering if his marriage will be able to survive the stress it’s been under. Below, you’ll find a story that was shared on the Relationship Advice subreddit, where a man detailed the nightmare he’s been experiencing since his wife got sued for harassing her former best friend. Keep reading to learn all of the details and to find some of the reactions readers had to the situation.
Spouses are always supposed to have each other’s backs
Image credits: Karolina Kaboompics (not the actual photo)
But when this man had to drain his savings to get his wife out of legal trouble, he began to wonder if their marriage was salvageable
Image credits: Yan Krukau (not the actual photo)
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
Image source: suedwifeacct
Image credits: Karolina Kaboompics (not the actual photo)
Later, the husband shared a detailed update on the situation and responded to some of the most common questions he received
Image credits: Andres Ayrton (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Timur Weber (not the actual photo)
Image source: suedwifeacct
Spouses sometimes end up paying the price for their partner’s choices
Image credits: Mikhail Nilov (not the actual photo)
Nobody ever wants to find themselves in legal trouble, but it can be even more frustrating when you find yourself tangled up in someone else’s issues. Many people view their spouse as their partner in crime, but they probably don’t expect them to be committing literal crimes. Once you’re married, however, you might have to face the consequences of your partner’s choices, even if they acted alone.
For example, when it comes to credit card debt, Bankrate notes that you could become liable for debt that your spouse racked up, depending on where you live. And even if you get divorced, it might be up to a court to decide who’s responsible for how much. The same can be true when it comes to student debt as well.
But if one partner finds him or herself in legal trouble, is their spouse responsible for that too? It depends on many factors. But if a court determines that you owe money, either to the state or to someone who has sued you, that money has to come from somewhere. And if you and your spouse share joint bank accounts, well, it’s going to affect you both.
In this scenario, paying Laura was not directly the husband’s responsibility. But he is the breadwinner for his family, and his wife simply did not have enough money to pay these fees on her own. This has, understandably, led to a bit of resentment from the husband. But he knows that a marriage is doomed if one or both parties can’t move past that bitter feeling.
Moving past resentment in a relationship can take a lot of work
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When it comes to releasing resentment and moving forward in a relationship, HuffPost recommends facing negative feelings head-on, rather than trying to ignore them. It can also be helpful to have regular check-ins with your partner, to ensure that you’re on the same page and that resentments aren’t building up.
Express feelings openly and honestly, using “I” statements to convey how you feel without making assumptions about your partner or accusing them of anything. And resist the temptation to keep score. You can’t move past issues if you’re secretly tallying them up in your head.
When your partner shares how they feel, be sure to validate their emotions. Even if you disagree with them on the issue at hand, it’s important that they feel respected and listened to. And whatever you do, don’t get defensive.
Be open-minded and curious when working past resentment. Remember to be compassionate towards your spouse. After all, you do love them! Make them feel appreciated, and don’t take their efforts for granted. It takes work to move past issues in a relationship, and if they’re truly trying, thank them for their efforts.
It’s wise to have certain protections in place before filing for divorce
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In the comments section of this post, many readers warned the man that his spouse may turn him into her next target if he asks for a divorce. And while he may not be able to prevent any drama from transpiring, if he truly does want to end his marriage, there are a few protections he can have in place first.
Before filing for divorce, Griffiths Law recommends organizing documents and making sure that you have at least three months of financial resources stashed away. It’s also a good idea to get some legal advice before your spouse is aware of what you’re planning. You will need representation once you file, so it’s smart to have a lawyer lined up ahead of time.
If there’s a risk of domestic violence, have a safety plan in place and somewhere you can stay. Don’t assume your spouse will be willing to leave your home and go somewhere else once you’ve filed. And to protect your mental health, be sure that you’re surrounded by supportive family and friends. You will want to have loved ones around during this stressful and difficult time.
Finally, as difficult as it may be, try to remain civil with your spouse. No matter what they do or how they react, don’t give them any ammunition that can come back to bite you in court.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. What would you do if you were in this husband’s shoes? Feel free to share, and then if you’d like to check out another Bored Panda piece discussing marital issues, look no further than right here.
Readers were shocked by the situation, and many warned the man that his wife is in need of professional help
