A school reunion threw one man into a "void" from which he has never recovered after he returned to the site where he was sexually abused by a former counsellor, a court has heard.
Allan Keith Huggins used his trusted role in several schools and within the northern NSW community of Armidale to perpetrate shocking acts of abuse on vulnerable boys under the guise of treatment.
The 77-year-old was found guilty in August on 36 counts of molesting 10 young male patients, offences for which he is currently awaiting sentencing.
Joseph Wright, who was among the victims, told Sydney's Downing Centre District Court on Wednesday he had spent most of the past decade homeless and struggling to cope with the trauma of the abuse.
"Socially I can't bear men, nor can I connect safely with women," he said.
"My attendance at the school reunion - ground zero - threw me into the void.
"90 per cent of the time now I am alone in the bush. Alone with my demons."
Mr Wright also blamed Huggins for his drug and alcohol abuse and his inability to seek medical or psychological help, especially from counsellors.
"I am paranoid, I'm delusional, I'm a psycho, a loony, a nutjob," he said.
"I consider myself to lead a life controlled by symptoms."
Huggins was convicted in 2015 of similar acts of sexual abuse on boys in Western Australia, crimes for which he served almost a decade behind bars before being extradited to NSW.
Joseph's brother, Phil Wright, was also abused by Huggins and on Tuesday spoke of its lifelong impact and the devastation it caused.
"My entire sense of wellbeing was taken from me," he said.
"I lost my feeling of being safe and being worthwhile as a human being."
Phil Wright said after one of the incidents he was left vomiting and dry retching by the side of a road for up to half an hour.
"I was left violently shaking … it took a long time for me to pick myself up off the ground," he said.
"The humiliation that I felt then has never really left me."
The brothers have been estranged from each other for decades and say they have never spoken directly about their experiences, despite Huggins' lawyers arguing they colluded before giving their evidence.
"We have never spoken of what went on … inside those dark rooms," Joseph Wright said.
"We've got to live with it and talking makes living with it harder."
Huggins used hypnosis and relaxation techniques to perpetrate the abuse and deliberately targeted vulnerable boys, the court heard.
"Due to hypnosis and being forced to close my eyes I don't know every single thing the offender did to me physically," Joseph Wright said.
"I left my body. Angels took me out of the abuse, but they were soon replaced by demons.
"All these decades later and I'm still lying prone and naked in those dark rooms."
The case is due to return to court in October for sentence.
1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732)
National Sexual Abuse and Redress Support Service 1800 211 028
