How we met: ‘She had an eyebrow piercing – I thought that was very edgy’

‘Amy is very emotionally intelligent – she’s my emotional hero … Ilya, left, and Amy in 2022. Photograph: Courtesy of Ilya and Amy

In 1998, life was good for Ilya. She was a post-graduate student in women’s studies at York University in Toronto, and had started dating Ashley (not her real name) “the big romance” of her 20s. “I was living in a house share and having a great time,” she says.

Ashley started a band with some women on campus and it wasn’t long before Amy came into their lives. She was working as an education coordinator in an art gallery when she was introduced to Ashley by a friend. “I’d been playing drums since I was a teenager and I was keen to meet new friends,” she says. “As soon as she introduced me to the rest of the group, the band, Lazy Susan, was formed.”