When John joined a website for travel tips back in 2008, he never imagined he would meet his future flatmate. “I was living in Finland and working as a translator,” he says. “I originally moved from the UK to be with my partner 50 years ago, but after we broke up I decided to stay.” He joined a site called VirtualTourist, which was an early social media network for people who were passionate about travel. “I was planning a trip to Egypt at the time and getting some really great advice from people who were there.”
John soon got chatting to Anna, who was from Kyiv and worked in recruitment. “We were in the same time zone and we were both insomniacs, so we would end up chatting late at night,” he recalls. Anna, too, remembers these exchanges fondly. “I really liked his travel pictures and whenever he posted a new one I’d ask about his experiences,” she says. When Facebook became popular, they exchanged details and began chatting over Messenger, but it wasn’t until 2017 that they finally arranged to meet up in person.
“I was going to Tallinn in Estonia, which is not far from where John lives, so we arranged to meet for lunch,” says Anna. “I was excited to meet him after so long chatting online – and he was so nice in real life.” John was surprised to find she was exactly like her online persona. “I thought that her English might not be as fluent but it’s exactly the same. I really liked that she was chatty because I’m quite reserved,” he says. They kept up their friendship online, chatting on Facebook a few times a month. In 2019, they met up again for lunch in Kyiv, but it wasn’t until the war broke out that their friendship became much closer. “When the full-scale invasion happened in Ukraine, I was very worried about Anna,” says John. “After about a week, she got in touch to tell me she was leaving Kyiv and heading to western Ukraine where it would be safer.”
Callout
At first, Anna says it was hard to travel, as so many people were trying to escape: “After I got to Lviv in the west, I didn’t know what to do next because nobody knew how long the war would go on for.” As conditions in Ukraine deteriorated, she went to Slovakia, hoping to find work with a former employer who had offices there. “It wasn’t possible, though, because of the language barrier, so I started considering other options, such as the Netherlands and Finland, where I could use my English.”
She turned to John for help.
“As soon as she asked me if she could stay, I said yes. No decent person could turn away a refugee,” he says. “My own parents were bombed out in the London blitz and I think that also affected how I saw the situation in Ukraine.” Anna moved into his spare room as soon as she could get there, and they spent the following weeks sorting out the paperwork. “I had to adapt to the people and the environment. I remember thinking how cold it was and wondering if all the trees were dead,” she says. “John was so helpful in getting me settled in.”
Despite some initial concerns about how he would adapt to having a flatmate, John says it has been smooth sailing: “It’s been really nice to have company. I had a minor operation last summer and it was great to have Anna there to support me.” Although others often assume they’re in a romantic relationship, they’re just good friends. “I think people find it strange, but there was never a romantic spark between us. We just like doing things together and have lots in common.”
Since Anna moved to Finland, they’ve travelled the country together. “Every weekend, we were going to a different Finnish city,” says Anna. “John has such a great character. He’s never in a bad mood and he gives really good advice. It’s always interesting to discuss things with him. We’re planning a trip to Lapland next.”
She also appreciates his caring nature. “In February, he brought me roses because in Finland it’s Friendship Day, not Valentine’s Day,” she says. “He’s really intelligent and speaks lots of languages. He’s got great cooking skills and a good sense of humour too.”
John says Anna is incredibly trustworthy and good to be around. “When I think about what she went through, I admire her toughness. She doesn’t give up. Although she’s my flatmate, I think of her more like a sister now.”
