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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Lifestyle
Lizzie Cernik

How we met: ‘It was the first time I’d ever responded to a stranger online’

Claudia (left) and Ulrika in London in 2023.
Claudia (left) and Ulrika in London in 2023. Photograph: Supplied image

In 2016, Claudia was working as a police officer in Stockholm, where she had been living for nine years. Although she enjoyed her work, she had a long-held ambition to become an entrepreneur. “A lot of people find it strange that anyone would want to give up a stable career,” she says. “I wanted to meet like-minded people, so I posted a message on a women’s social group on Facebook asking if anyone knew about any interesting events for startups, and whether anyone wanted to join me.” Although she says she found it scary putting herself out there, she was pleased when Ulrika responded to her message.

Ulrika had recently moved back to Sweden to work in corporate events after two years living in San Francisco. “I was still in touch with my old high school friends but we lived completely different lives. I was struggling to rebuild my social network,” she says. “When I joined the group and saw the post from Claudia, I decided to contact her. It was the first time I’d ever responded to a stranger online.”

They agreed to meet for coffee, which Claudia says “felt like a date. I wanted to present myself in the best way and I wanted her to like me.” Despite her worries, the pair connected instantly. “I was amazed how comfortable we felt after a couple of hours,” she adds. They began to meet regularly for wine or coffee, talking about their shared passions, their lives and their goals. “What I really liked was that she was a go-getter,” says Claudia. “I like to be surrounded by brave people and it made me want to continue our friendship journey.”

As well as exchanging business ideas, they both have young children. “We have shared experiences of motherhood, with our kids around the same age. It’s great to meet someone in the same stage of life as me,” says Claudia.

The pair also love travelling, and visited Ukraine together before the war. They’ve been on many trips in Sweden together, as well as to New York. “We enjoy food and going to nice restaurants,” says Ulrika. “And we love costume dramas – anything [based on] Jane Austen.”

In 2017, they built and launched an app together, to help other women find friends online, and the following year Ulrika had her second child. “Being Swedish, the common thing is to stay at home on maternity leave for a long time. We didn’t do that when we had children, which was quite unique,” she says. “Claudia really understands the pressure of working and juggling a newborn baby.”

‘I feel very confident when I’m with Ulrika.’
‘I feel very confident when I’m with Ulrika’ Photograph: Supplied image

Claudia says their friendship is “very comfortable” and they can always be themselves around each other. “I remember early on we had an argument but we realised straight away we could get past it. We hugged and cried and everything was fine. It’s a sign of a good friendship if you can argue and still come back together and get on.”

She loves that her friend is “really smart” and a quick thinker. “I feel very confident when I’m with Ulrika,” says Claudia. “She steps into a room and everyone is looking at her. She can talk to anyone. If I’m feeling down, she knows how to cheer me up. She can read me and knows exactly what I want.”

Ulrika describes Claudia as “stubborn when she puts her mind to something” – a quality that she admires. “She’s really fun too and has a very strong moral compass. We find so much to laugh about and we are always comfortable just hanging out without talking too, which shows just how close we are.”

Callout

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