We know that dealing with abuse of any kind in a relationship can have a devastating impact on your physical and mental wellbeing, and it's often difficult to know where to turn when you are faced with such issues at home. While women are more likely to experience physical violence, this isn't a gendered issue, and men can also be victims of domestic abuse.
If you're a man experiencing domestic abuse, know there's help available, and you don’t have to go through this alone. In this article, we’ll explore the characteristics of male domestic violence and offer guidance on how you can seek support.
Understanding Male Domestic Abuse
Domestic abuse can come in many forms, and it’s important that you can recognise if your partner may be acting abusively towards you. Domestic abuse can be physical, emotional, financial or through the act of controlling you. These forms of abuse can be subtle and build up over time, making them harder to recognise.
Physical violence doesn’t have to be extreme, even smaller acts such as pushing you or threatening you with violence can be considered domestic abuse. There’s a common misconception that men cannot suffer at the hands of their partner in the same way as women, but this is simply not true.
Another prevalent form of abuse that many men experience is verbal abuse. Again, this doesn’t have to be overtly aggressive to warrant being abusive, it can come in the form of being put down, belittled or being on the receiving end of hurtful comments and outbursts of anger.
We know that it can be difficult to recognise sometimes, but if your partner has a tendency to act in a controlling manner, whether that’s in terms of your finances, who you spend your time with or not permitting you to see family and friends, this could also be considered abuse.
Recognising the Signs of Male Domestic Abuse
Recognising the signs of domestic abuse is the first step towards being able to seek support during this challenging time. Below are some of the indicators that you may be in an abusive relationship.
- You feel afraid or on edge around your partner.
- You walk on eggshells to avoid upsetting them.
- You've made excuses for your partner's behaviour to friends and family.
- You feel like you can't do anything right.
- Your partner puts you down or belittles you.
- You don't have access to your own money or phone.
- Your partner controls who you see and where you go.
- You have unexplained injuries.
Seeking Help and Support for Male Survivors
If you're experiencing any form of domestic abuse, know that there is help available, and you don’t have to go through this awful experience alone. Taking the first step to get help can be difficult, but it's the most important step you can take for your safety and wellbeing.
In the first instance, you should consider confiding in your loved ones, whether that’s friends or family, about what is happening in your relationship. We know that these conversations can be tough, but it’s important that you have a safe space where you can discuss what you have been experiencing with the people who care about you.
There’s also a wealth of specialist services in the UK where you can seek support if you are suffering from domestic abuse, such as the National Domestic Abuse Helpline, Men's Advice Line or Refuge.
Additionally, you could consider seeking guidance from family law solicitors who specialise in domestic abuse cases. They can offer legal advice and support if you're considering separating from your partner.
