A relationship expert says it can work out if you get back with your ex - like Love Island's Mille and Liam. Jessica Alderson, 33, believes it is possible to try again with an ex but said it takes a lot if emotional maturity to give it another go following a separation.
Series seven Islanders Millie Court and Liam Reardon recently confirmed their relationship was back on - after splitting up July 2022. Jessica said with plenty of time, and as long as the relationship didn't end badly, reigniting a spark with an ex-partner can be done.
Jessica, co-founder of dating app So Syncd, said: “Getting back together after a long time apart can be a win-win situation - you’ve had time to mature and develop, and it can be like trying again with a totally new person. If we look at Millie and Liam - Millie talked about social media putting pressure on their relationship and ultimately playing a role in their break-up.
“It appears that this time around, the pair are making an effort to take a new approach to the relationship by taking it slow and being more private. It has been nearly a year since the pair parted ways, and a lot can happen in that time.
“If both of them have grown as people and are mindful of how they approach the issues that pushed them apart last time, they might be able to make it work. Liam and Millie formed an obvious and genuine connection in the villa from day one, and that could be a powerful motivating force for making it work.”
Jessica believes the same can be said for couples out of the limelight. But it takes a lot of space and rational thinking to decide whether it’s actually right for the individual.
She said: “People do break up for a reason - and people can harbour feelings for their partner weeks, months, even years after a break-up. You’ve got to think about things rationally. Why - in your mind - do you think it’ll work out for you this time?
“If neither of you have changed much as people - even over the course of a couple of years - it probably won’t work out. But, if you have focused on developing as a person away from your ex, there’s a possibility.”
While the temptation may be there to focus on getting back together soon after a breakup - Jessica thinks it’s vital to take care of yourself during this time. She said: “Focus on yourself after a break-up.
“Always make sure you process those emotions. Be sad, be angry - then focus on yourself as much as possible. Remove your ex from all forms of social media, even block them if it makes you feel like you can move on.
"This doesn’t have to be forever - just during those first few months. Do as many activities as possible that fill you with joy - take up a new hobby, surround yourself with friends and family.
“Create the best life possible for yourself as a single person - so that if you do end up getting back together with your ex, you can come back to it with fresh eyes.”
Jessica says there are a couple of scenarios in which it may be impossible to successfully get back together with an ex. She said: “It depends how your relationship ended in the first place.
“Drifting apart naturally is one thing - but if the reason was something like cheating, it just isn’t possible for some people to overcome that. Can you let go of that resentment? And if so - consider whether your future goals are aligned.
“You might have shared a great connection once, but do you want the same things out of life now?”
Jessica’s top tips for getting back together - and staying together:
1. In the months - or years - after a break-up, focus on healing yourself as much as you can. This can be done by focusing on your future, your passions, and surrounding yourself with people who will always love and support you.
2. Have a big think about what you’d want out of the relationship - do you have the same goals?
3. Consider why you broke up in the first place - can you resolve any issues that cropped up in the past?
