While navigating the legalities of divorce is important, the emotional impact on children is often a top concern for separating parents.
Recent government figures show a slight decrease in divorce rates across the UK, but separation remains a common reality for many families.
Here, we explore how to minimise the negative effects of divorce on your child and prioritise their wellbeing throughout the process.
How can children be affected by divorce?
Children of all ages can be affected by divorce, though the way they experience it varies. Common reactions include sadness, anger, confusion and anxiety. They may worry about the future, feel torn between parents, or even blame themselves for the break-up. It's crucial to address these concerns with sensitivity and understanding.
What issues need resolving?
Before informing your children, it's essential to have a clear understanding of key issues.
- Living arrangements: Where will your child live primarily, and how will they spend time with the other parent?
- Financial arrangements: How will child maintenance be handled?
- Communication and decision-making: How will you communicate with your ex regarding your child's needs and upbringing?
Divorce lawyers can help you navigate these complexities and reach agreements that prioritise your child's welfare. Hiring a legal expert can also help you when it comes to drafting agreements surrounding child maintenance and other concerns.
Remember, cooperation with your ex is key, especially where communication is strained.
How to inform children of divorce and separation
Honesty and age-appropriate communication are paramount. Choose a calm moment when you can both be present. Explain, in simple terms, that you're separating and will no longer be living together as a couple. Reassure them that you both love them very much and that the decision is not their fault. It may be best to avoid details about the reasons behind the separation.
Here are some resources that offer guidance on talking to children about divorce:
- NSPCC: https://www.nspcc.org.uk/keeping-children-safe/support-for-parents/separation-and-divorce/
- ChildMind: https://childmind.org/article/how-to-tell-kids-about-a-divorce/
Managing divorce where children are involved
Whatever the reason for the end of a relationship, parents will remain bonded by their children. Wherever possible, working together as a parenting team will help both of you and your children navigate what can be an emotionally distressing time in life.
- Prioritise their needs: Every decision made during the divorce process should consider the best interests of your child.
- Minimise conflict: Avoid arguing in front of your children and maintain a civil relationship with your ex for their sake.
- Maintain routines: Provide stability by keeping familiar routines, such as mealtimes and bedtimes, as consistent as possible.
- Open communication: Encourage your child to express their feelings openly and address their anxieties with love and patience.
- Consider professional help: If your child struggles to cope, consider seeking support from a child therapist or family counsellor.
