New research reveals a rise in the ‘Guilty-Ghoster’, as nearly half of those who admitted to ghosting say they regret doing so. Over a third said this was because they felt guilty about their actions and 35% said they were worried they’d hurt their feelings, according to research from dating app Badoo.
46% of women said they felt bad about ghosting someone, compared to just a quarter of men. Another 41% of women acknowledged it was the wrong way to go about letting someone down - nearly double that of male respondents.
The top three reasons singletons chose to ghost over being upfront included avoiding awkward conversations, some felt it was an easier way to end things and a further 27% just didn’t know what to say, so would rather say nothing at all.
Dating and relationship expert Persia Lawson says: ‘Ghosting’ can mean many things to many people, and as such can be hard to define - but is ultimately the act of ending communication without warning or explanation. Whether you’re a one-off offender or a serial ghoster, the emotional impact on the other person can vary dramatically. So while some ghosters do feel remorse for their actions, and repeat offenders should be held more accountable, the act itself always has the potential to leave unresolved feelings and negative implications. "
Remy Le Fevre, Global Head of Brand Engagement and Influence at Badoo said: “At Badoo, we’re firm believers that kind daters are more successful daters. Dating should be fun, thrilling and full of highs, but we also know the act of ghosting can have incredibly long-lasting lows on singles looking for love. Our match-making mission is to ghost-bust this negative practice from our online community after our research revealed 62% of singles agree ghosting should be a thing of the past and would vow not to ghost in future.”
Badoo is teaming up with TikTok star Ash Holme and dating expert Persia Lawson to host ‘Ghost Stories Live’. The TikTok Live will invite singles to share their “ghost stories”, purge their feelings and come together against ghosting. Tune in at 8pm on Thursday, October 27 at https://www.tiktok.com/@ash_holme?lang=en
Persia has come up with top tips to deal with being ghosted
Don’t Take It Personally |
Being ghosted really does say more about the ghoster than it does the ghostee. In fact, you could argue that the ghoster has done you a favour by disqualifying themselves as a worthy suitor; if they aren’t mature enough to communicate, they are never going to be a great partner. |
Don’t Paper Over Your Pain |
It’s understandable why you’d want to distract yourself from the sting of rejection by getting wasted or hooking up prematurely with someone new. But, you’ll only be delaying the inevitable. The faster you can accept, feel and process your feelings, the faster you’ll heal from it and free yourself up to move on. |
No Social Stalking |
Social media can be addictive, and as such can be seriously detrimental to our mental health. Never more so than when using it to digitally stalk the person who just ghosted to get some answers. The reason we fall into this trap is that it gives us a temporary sense of control and power over the situation, but, of course, this is just an illusion. Perhaps remove temptation altogether by putting your ghoster’s account on mute or consider blocking, to give yourself time to heal. |
Don’t Be a Coward |
If you’re no longer interested in the person you’re dating (or have been guilty of ghosting in the past), you owe them an explanation – however long ago you disappeared. After all, not knowing why you’ve been cast aside is way worse than being dumped. A simple message is all it takes (or, if you’re feeling bold, a phone call or meet up might be preferable). Here’s an option: Hey X, I want to be honest, I think you’re great and have had a really fun time with you. However, I’m just not feeling a romantic spark/ don’t think we’re quite the right fit for one another, so I feel it would be better if we stop seeing each other. Hope you understand x |
Stop Procrastinating |
Having a tricky conversation isn’t a walk in the park for anyone – especially when it involves telling someone you don’t fancy them or want to continue dating. However, when you have a big challenge, it’s best to get it out of the way as soon as possible; everything else will seem easier by comparison. Stop avoiding your ghostee and just get the awkward conversation over and done with so you can move on with your life, sans le guilt. Here are a few messages you could send: “Hey, it was great to meet you, but I didn’t really feel the connection with you I’m looking for. Take care and best of luck x” “Hi X, I had a fun time with you the other night, but I think we’re looking for different things so I think it’s best we leave it here. All the best x” “ Hope you’re having a great week. I know we chatted about meeting again soon, but having thought about it a little more I don’t really see this moving forward. Take care” |
