Arguably the greatest moment in NFL draft history was in 2014, when the Browns’ general manager, motivated by a less-than-subtle threat from ownership, traded the team’s next three first-round draft picks to the Seahawks in order to move up to the No. 1 pick and select a franchise quarterback a mere 12 hours before the event was set to begin.
But then, after realizing in the hours leading up to the draft that the quarterback was kind of a jerk (and had P. Diddy as an agent—Yikes!), decided to take an undersized pass rusher with off-field concerns (a phrase that feels relative now that P. Diddy is in the mix) at No. 1, despite the fact that few other teams had that edge rusher graded as a first-round prospect. In his pocket was a note—Vontae Mack No Matter What—indicating that he was going to pick the undersized edge regardless of whether or not he traded up.
And after that, the general manager, who was also dealing with the sledgehammer news that his clandestine relationship with the team’s salary cap specialist had resulted in a pregnancy, decided to trade all his second-round picks for the next three seasons to get in front of the Seahawks at No. 5, forcing the Seattle to return all the Browns’ first-round picks for the right to pick the quarterback that Cleveland decided not to take.
It was awesome. It was stunning. It was also the plot of the Ivan Reitman film Draft Day.
Few people think about this movie more than I do. I’ve done podcasts about it. I’ve watched it in Spanish (I don’t speak Spanish, even a little). I reference it enough in my daily life that it’s starting to affect my ability to hang in conventional day-to-day conversations. And, especially during a year when the actual draft is going to be horrendously boring, I try to wish it into existence.
While that’s impossible, I can do the next best thing. You’re going to read a lot of mock drafts in the coming days (including mine on Tuesday!) but only one in which the Browns’ fictional general manager from the 2014 film Draft Day—Sonny Weaver Jr., played by Kevin Costner—is still the general manager of the Browns. It sounds less ridiculous when you realize that the real-life Browns general manager who traded for Deshaun Watson is still in that position! Again, this is satire. If you haven’t seen the film, this clip sums it up.
In this world, everything else about the NFL remains the same. But with a maverick like Weaver in the chair—his child with the salary cap manager would be 12 now, by the way—anything is possible. Let’s dive in.
1. Cleveland Browns
*Projected trade (via Las Vegas Raiders, for 2026, ’27 and ’28 first-round draft picks)
Jeremiyah Love, RB, Notre Dame
We’re back, baby. The Browns trade three first-round picks to the Raiders on the morning of draft day, ostensibly for the right to draft Fernando Mendoza … before discovering that Mendoza failed an eighth-grade history test and forged his parents’ signature upon returning it to the teacher. Maybe that’s enough to keep Mendoza on a draft board elsewhere (looking at you, Cowboys), but not in Sonny Weaver Jr.’s Cleveland. After Weaver makes the pick, he creepily hangs in a partly-open hallway closet.
2. New York Jets
Arvell Reese, edge, Ohio State
Sufficiently freaked out by the idea that not even the Browns would draft Mendoza, the Jets stick to their big board and secure the high-upside pass rusher. The early back page of the New York Post reads: DON’T CALL MY NAME, FERNANDO.
3. Jacksonville Jaguars
*Projected trade (via Cardinals for 2026 second-round pick, ’27 first-round pick, ’27 second-round pick)
Carnell Tate, WR, Ohio State
Sensing that he was being overshadowed by the equally performative Weaver, Jaguars general manager James Gladstone, who just a year ago promised to change football forever by selecting two-way Colorado star Travis Hunter, takes a wide receiver, since Hunter will no longer be playing wide receiver.
“Carnell Tate may also play defense,” Gladstone says at the team’s immediate after-pick press conference. “And, our solar system may just be one tiny atom inside the fingernail of some giant being. Additionally, one atom in our fingernail may contain its own solar system.”
4. Tennessee Titans
Sonny Styles, LB, Ohio State
Robert Saleh gets his Fred Warner in the middle of a developing Titans defense.
5. Cleveland Browns
*Projected trade (via Giants, for 2026, ’27 and ’28 second- and third-round picks)
Fresh from the closet, Weaver phones Giants general manager Joe Schoen, secures the No. 5 pick and nabs a slice of Papa John’s as he rounds the corner back into the draft room.
Upon entering, he realizes the entire staff has departed and in front of him is CaroleAnn Kinsella, the company’s human resources specialist.
Scene:
CaroleAnn: “Sonny, why don’t you have a seat.”
Sonny: “Who can sit down at a time like this? It’s the NFL draft. It’s time to get the Browns back on track! I’m saving Cleveland. I’m going to get all my picks back!”
CaroleAnn: “Sonny, we’ve had some compla… ”
Sonny: “Remember 2014? I got David Putney! I called the Seahawks’ GM a pancake-eating motherf---er and stole his punt returner! I got all my picks back and I got David Putney! Man, I love this job!” [Cracks beer]
CaroleAnn: “Sunny you can’t drink in here.”
Sonny: “This is the year we turn the corner. I can feel it. The Browns in the playoffs … can you imagine?”
CaroleAnn: “... In addition to an illicit office relationship, you also smashed the laptop of an intern … ”
Sonny: “They said Bo Callahan was the next great quarterback. But I believed in Brian Drew!”
CaroleAnn: “... staffers are alarmed at your impulsive decision-making, which is not limited to your wanton disregard for our organizational draft strategy. Cafeteria outbursts, loud fights with your mother in plain view of other employees, small fires being set indoors …”
End scene.
5. Las Vegas Raiders
Fernando Mendoza, QB, Indiana
Yes, the Raiders should have the sixth pick in this scenario. But with the Browns’ general manager embroiled in a nasty HR dispute, the Raiders end up scoring an all-time draft coup, securing Mendoza in addition to three years’ worth of Browns first-round picks, by running the pick ahead of the Browns when they miss the deadline at No. 5. Weaver, it would seem, was trying to orchestrate a similar maneuver to 2014 before his complicated past and hubris caught up to him. Mendoza has the prototypical size to operate an NFL offense and, experts believe, he can quickly acclimate to the under-center offense run by Klint Kubiak.
6. Washington Commanders
Caleb Downs, S, Ohio State
“I’m excited for Caleb’s fit with the Commanders but am really worried about Sonny Weaver,” NFL Network draft analyst Daniel Jeremiah says. “Downs is a perfect fit for this Dan Quinn defense and he reminds me a lot of Ed Reed bac—I’m sorry, the Browns have yet to make a pick that they’ve now traded six other draft picks for. Is there a medical issue here with the general manager? Do we have eyes in Cleveland?”
7. New Orleans Saints
David Bailey, edge, Texas Tech
Let’s go live to ESPN reporter Jeff Darlington, who is on hand in Cleveland covering this developing issue…
Darlington: “Thanks Greeny. As you can hear behind me, loud crashing sounds from inside Cleveland’s war room. An HR staffer was extracted from security amid what can only be described as a complete loss of mental and physical control from Sonny Weaver Jr. Once known as a gunslinger unafraid to deal, Weaver’s celebrated 2014 draft devolved into chaos when neither of his two first-round picks made the 53-man roster. His continued employment by the organization remains one of the NFL’s great mysteries.
“I can make out—just give me a second here—Weaver seems to be screaming, ‘Dad, the running back. He’s Cleveland royalty. Will you coach this team, Dad? Can you come back and lead the Browns to glory with me?’” Weaver’s father, the legendary football coach, passed away in 2013, Suzy, and Jeremiyah Love is from Missouri. So, obviously, a lot is going on here. As we say in the business, anything can happen on Draft Day™. Let’s kick it to Mel Kiper Jr. for his best available.”
8. Kansas City Chiefs
Spencer Fano, OT, Utah
With the ever-present uncertainty of Kansas City’s offensive line, Andy Reid gets the versatile Fano, who can play nearly every position up front. The 21-year-old from Spanish Fork, Utah, has fast feet and is a smooth but aggressive run blocker, which should aid the newly acquired Kenneth Walker III.
9. Cincinnati Bengals
Mansoor Delane, DB, LSU
Cincinnati's push to remake its defense continues, with the Bengals netting the top cornerback on the board. Delane had eight interceptions in his college career between two stops with Virginia Tech and LSU. He was an All-American in 2025.
11. Dallas Cowboys
Rueben Bain Jr., edge, Miami
Kiper: “I hear everyone talking about Rueben Bain and what he can’t do. Well, Chris, Joe, Troy, I’m focused on what he can do. I mean, look at the way he’s crashing down on the quarterback and making plays. Every year there’s a size exception in the draft and I give credit to the Cowboys for trusting their evaluation and—.”
Mike Greenberg: “Mel, I hate to cut you off here but Sonny Weaver has emerged from the Browns’ war room and it looks as though he is intent on making a pick live on air.”
12. Cleveland Browns
Weaver, shirt ripped, tie tied around his head, a lit Camel Light dangling from his lips: “With the 12th pick, the Cleveland Browns [deep raspy cough, spit] select Ty Simpson out of Alabama. We then trade Simpson and Myles Garrett to the Rams for three first-round draft picks and three second-round picks, which means we’re coming for you, Arch. We’re coming for Arch Man—.
The Browns’ GM collapses to the floor in a heap as aides rush to his side. A team trainer checks his pulse. The door to the war room is jarred open, revealing a corkboard with pieces of paper connected by red string. The string jumps from pictures of Mendoza and Love to one of Rams coach Sean McVay and Simpson. A Post-it note between McVay and Simpson reads: “SECRET?”
Rich Eisen: Wow.
Chris Berman: Unbelievable.
Troy Aikman: God damn, that Sonny Weaver. The maverick does it again. He walks out of here with Jeremiyah Love and three first-round draft picks to make a run at Arch Manning in 2027. I mean, just when we thought this guy was losing it, Weaver saves the day. He fakes a mental breakdown, trades away six total first- and second-round picks then, in a fit of mania, anticipates that Sean McVay coveted Ty Simpson all along and swings the deal of a lifetime. Man, anything can happen on Draft Day™.
As Weaver is taken out of the building on a stretcher, his coal-black eyes open for a brief second. A tasty guitar lick plays from nowhere, and Weaver makes dual finger pistols, pointing them at the camera.
“Anything can happen on Draft Day™,” he says, before blacking out again.
More NFL Draft from Sports Illustrated
- Albert Breer on What He Is Hearing About Picks 1-10 in the NFL Draft
- Albert Breer’s 10 Best NFL Draft Prospects
- How Nebraska’s Heinrich Haarberg Actually Became the Next Taysom Hill
- Architects of Giants’ Next Era Won’t Allow ‘Scars’ of 2025 to Define Their Future
- 2026 NFL Draft Breakdown: Ty Simpson
This article was originally published on www.si.com as How Sonny Weaver Jr. From ‘Draft Day’ Would Navigate the 2026 NFL Draft.
