How do I stop my mother giving me stuff I don’t want?

‘You might say something like: “I didn’t pass your love along with it, I kept that for myself, I only gave her the bed because she needed it and I needed the space. I still have the love you put into it.’”’ Photograph: Tetra Images/Alamy

The dilemma My mam has shared painful memories of her childhood. She grew up in poverty and her parents struggled. In her adult life, Mam and Dad saved and paid for everything in cash, and I wanted for nothing when growing up. She worked hard and spent her spare money on collectible porcelain, antiques and furniture, a lot of which she has already handed down to me. In retirement, she started to collect designer scarves, bags and jewellery, and talks with pride as to how she will leave these things to me, too.

I am grateful for Mam’s generosity. However, I am becoming physically and mentally burdened with the volume of possessions I am already living with. I am having recurring nightmares of being buried alive. I am now married and in my mid-40s, and in a one-bedroom flat. There’s so little space I’ve had to rent a storage unit. I would like to start to have a sensible conversation with my parents around selling some items.