A man who would go without sleep "for a week at a time" due to his cocaine use has opened up about how he's completely turned his life around, and is now trying to help other people. Gareth Jones, 31, from Aberdare, has shared his story to try and help other people, and show that there's always a light at the end of the tunnel.
Gareth said he was always a "happy child", and had a fantastic upbringing. He said his mother worked hard as a single parent, and he was particularly close to his grandparents. He described his grandfather as "the light of his life", and everything he did was to make him proud.
He said: "Growing up was difficult for me not knowing who my father was. It felt like I always had this void missing, but he stepped up and was always the true father figure in my life.
"I did have a stepfather in my life and, even though this time of my childhood wasn’t perfect, he was the father to my siblings. Unfortunately he took his own life when I was very young due to circumstances that where out of his control.
"When this happened I was very young, and I had to step up and be the father figure to my brothers and sister. I don’t remember having time to grieve myself or relate to the things that unfolded, but what I do remember is trying to hide the truth from them for as long as I could protect them.
"This impacted my mental health because I kept so many things bottled up inside me. The bucket was getting to the point of overflowing.
"I went to see a therapist who basically said to me and my mother 'he’s fine - there's nothing wrong with him.' If only that person had realised how drastically upset I was on the inside."
A few years later Gareth's grandfather, who suffered terribly from bronchitis, became very poorly and was in and out of hospital most nights. Gareth said the hesitation always played a part in his mental health, and shortly after he spiralled out of control on drugs to mask the pain and anguish following his death.
"I started smoking marijuana around the age of 15," Gareth said. "I first it started off as a recreational habit, which slowly turned into a dependant.
"My friends where good people, and together we share some amazing memories growing up, but when I was 17 I started exploring and getting involved with the wrong sort of people. I realise that I was probably the wrong sort of person for them too.
"I started taking amphetamine and cocaine on a daily basis - sometimes not sleeping for a week at a time. This habit was expensive.
"During my escapade on a downward spiral, I used to get caught up in a lot of fights. I used to steal off my friends and family - even resorting to taking out loans I knew I could never pay back.
"When I think back, and think of a reason why I started drugs, I guess it comes down to keeping so much bottled up inside me for so long and when my grandfather died I had enough and let it all pour out in the wrong ways."
Gareth said there were two particular instances that stick out in his memory during his drug phase. The first being a time that he hit out and pushed his mother, because he thought she was someone else.
He said he was hallucinating at the time, because he hadn’t had any sleep, and he spent the night in a police cell. When he was let out the next day he said it was "the worst I’ve ever felt."
A few years later, when he was around 22, he ended up being involved in a fight when he saw people who he said were up to "no good" having a party. He said: "Walking passed this house something inside me snapped, and I went inside to take care of them.
"Smashing windows and fighting four blokes on my own seemed like a good idea at the time. When I vacated the flat I smashed a window with my fist and, little did I know, but also a pool of blood.
"One summer's day when I had just made a big joint of green to watch Wales play rugby the police knocked on my nan’s door. They said 'we are sorry Gareth - you are being arrested on attempted murder.'
"I then spent several hours in a cell after giving my statement waiting for my cards to be dealt. I knew what I had done was bad, but attempted murder was out of the question.
"I looked down at the spork in my hand, and knew I couldn’t spend another night in this cell or the rest of my life for that matter. Call it luck, call it God or maybe my grandfather giving me a second chance, but the verdict was criminal damage and a fine. The ‘no goods’ had lied to the police, and made-up stories that didn’t match what actually unfolded."
When he went home that day Gareth said he cried "until he had no tears left". In the few weeks after the incident he said he had met a girl who he instantly fell in love with, and said she was the one to "pull him back down to earth."
Gareth said: "The wakeup call I had was one day I had everything - I finally had my life coming together, the love of my life and possible career in the forces then in an instant that could have been ripped away. Ever since that day all my actions are carefully thought out, because I can never experience that sick feeling again.
"The day my path fully changed was the day my first daughter was born. One day I received the message ‘I’m pregnant’.
"My world crashed around me, and wave after wave I seen the good and bad. Until I finally seen the clear picture this girl has been sent to me for reasons I'll never truly understand, so I proposed to her and to my surprise she said yes."
Gareth said he "fell in love" the day his daughter was born, and she means the world to him. "A part of me still thinks I didn’t deserve the chances I was given, but I make up for them every day," he added.
"She was my light, my anchor back to reality and the reason I’m still here. I joined the Army Air Corps in 2015, and my primary job role is Communications Specialist.
"I work with all technical aspects of communications on aircrafts and ground elements. My secondary job role is a Physical Training Instructor, and this involves me teaching and training individuals to be fit enough to serve in the British Army.
"I thoroughly enjoy my job role because I get to travel all over the world, mostly seeing it from above, while flying on exercises or training on the ground in some beautiful places.
"I also like the comradeship between work colleagues, and I feel like its one big family of people that never judge or stigmatise individuals."
Gareth also found a new-love for running during lockdown, as he was struggling to work from home. Since putting on his trainers, he's never stopped, and has since completed a 10k race, a 32 mile race and a 200 mile self-sufficient run.
He then started a page called ‘The Mental Health Wanderer’ to share his story and experiences in hope that he can reach at least one person in need of help to show them that not all is lost.
Gareth added: "All they must do is believe in themselves. I’ve since completed a mental health first aid course so I can be better prepared to notice signs of mental health struggles.
"My goal is to share and promote mental health awareness as much as I can. I might not be able to change the world with the 5,000 followers I have, but I hope I can reach at least one."
Gareth's next big challenge will take place on August 22 when he will take on a 300 plus mile run from North Wales to South Wales, covering the the Welsh Peaks. The challenge will be conducted totally self-sufficiently, and he hopes to complete it in a new record time of six days.
While taking on the challenge he hopes to raise funds for a little boy called Harri. He’s from Gareth's hometown, and was diagnosed with Lymphoblastic Leukaemia at the age of only six months. The family need to raise another £900,000 to make the trip to Singapore for life saving treatment.
Gareth said: "I don’t think I'll make anywhere near this amount, but I will try my hardest and do anything possible to help, because no child should suffer. If it was my own, I'd like to think someone would do the same."
To make a donation to the cause visit the fundraising page. You can also read more about The Mental Health Wanderer here.
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