The hero PC blinded by crazed gunman Raoul Moat was haunted by his attacker in his nightmares, unheard tapes recorded before his death reveal.
PC David Rathband lost his sight after being blasted in the face by the police-hating ex-convict.
Hallucinations caused by his injuries left him unable to picture his loved ones’ faces in his mind’s eye.
Yet the one person whose features he could make out was Moat – and the murderer tormented his nights.
Tragically, 19 months after the July 2010 attack, David – a dad-of-two who was an officer with Northumbria Police – took his own life.
And now, recordings he made in the immediate aftermath of Moat’s rampage have come to light.
In the audio files, David, then 42, says: “Moat, he used to come all the time. I used to see his face, [it’s] like a death face. He has an open flap of skin from above his left eyebrow to the right hand side of his face.
“And as I look at him it opens up, and I can see inside. He’s that grey colour of death. I struggle to see faces but he’s the exception, yeah. I can see his face – as clear as day.”
Police launched a huge manhunt for Moat after the former bouncer gunned down his ex-girlfriend Samantha Stobbart and murdered her boyfriend Chris Brown.
Minutes after ringing 999 to declare “war” on the police, the monster opened fire on David as he sat in his patrol car in Newcastle.
Moat, 39, shot himself dead a week later after police cornered him in Rothbury, Northumberland.
In the months after the rampage David, who was left with 34 pellets embedded in his skull, opened up to ghostwriter Tony Horne.
More than 200 hours of recordings made as Tony helped David write his book Tango 190 are being released this week as a podcast called The Rathband Tapes.
And in them, David repeatedly mentions being haunted by the gunman’s deathly image.
In a clip recorded the day before the killer’s accomplices, Karl Ness and Qhuram Awan, were jailed in 2011, David told Tony: “I had a visit from Mr Moat. I haven’t had that for a few days or a few weeks actually.
“It’s the first time since the trial started [that] he’s come to visit me. And I was awake at four o’clock.”
Tony revealed: “The dreams seemed to drop off after the trial.
“But for a while, David had a recurring dream that he was standing in front of his mirror at home and Moat would appear in the reflection behind him.”
The writer added that the officer feared Ness and Awan would get off.
He said: “He was terrified he would walk past them in the street and not know it was them.”
In the aftermath of the horror, it was reported that David’s shooting by evil Moat was random.
But in the tapes the officer – who had arrested Moat for driving without a licence in 2009 – told Tony he believed the killer attacked him on purpose, driving past twice before crawling to the window and pointing his gun barrel in his face.
It is understood the former lag had kept the collar numbers of all those who arrested him. David said: “People would say, ‘It’s such a shame, you were in the wrong place, you weren’t picked out, you weren’t targeted.’ Well, I was picked out, I was targeted, because he drove past me twice.”
And he spoke of his shock when he learned from a report that senior police in the control room did not warn officers on patrol about Moat’s call declaring “war” on the force.
He went on: “When I read that report, honestly, it was like hitting me with a hammer. You can read through the contents of the calls, what Raoul Moat said, word for word. That was the first time I knew that something had gone drastically wrong in that control room.”
The podcast will bring fresh agony for David’s widow Kath, who last week slammed ITV for making drama The Hunt for Raoul Moat, which stars Matt Stokoe and airs tonight.
Now a grandmother as daughter Mia, 24, has son Ronnie, 15 months, she is frustrated at the trauma being dragged up again for her family.
Kath, 53, of Blyth, Northumberland, said: “I don’t understand why they are doing this. It’s painful for me and the kids.”
Podcaster Tony said that while the ITV drama is about Moat, his series focuses on David.
He added: “These tapes tell David’s story in his own words and reveal the true extent of what he went through after the attack. How deep the psychological impact was and how hard he struggled.
“He used to say to me when I was writing his book that he didn’t care if just one person read it. He just wanted it out there.
“That is why I’m releasing these tapes now – to put his truth out there.”
The Rathband Tapes podcast will be available from Friday
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