A leading child bereavement charity, Richmond Hope, that was originally set up at Richmond Craigmillar Church in Edinburgh in 2003 is celebrating their 20th anniversary.
To mark the occasion, the organisation which was co-founded by local minister Liz Henderson and bereaved parent Jessie Douglas, is looking back on their history of providing support to young people experiencing grief. The service was set up by the dup after they believed there was a need for it in the working class community in the capital.
During its twenty years the charity has helped over 5,000 children and young people, aged between four and 18, to process grief in a safe space using verbal and non-verbal ways of communication. Specialist bereavement support workers have successfully implemented therapeutic places along with grief activities to empower young people to explore their memories, express and understand their feelings and develop coping strategies.
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The charity also provides health, social care and education professionals with training in child bereavement, the Daily Record reports.
They say that one in 29 children are impacted by the loss of a parent or sibling by the time they reach the age of 16. As a result, the Richmond Hope service has been a lifeline for many struggling to come to terms with bereavement.
Reverend Liz Henderson OBE said: “Richmond’s Hope’s 20th anniversary is an opportunity to reflect on the impact of the work with the families who have come to Richmond’s Hope and to thank those who have been instrumental in its success and to raise the profile of the organisation moving forward.
"It also offers an opportunity for reflection and helps motivate staff, volunteers and other supporters. We’d love to hear from anyone who has used Richmond’s Hope in the past and are asking people to join in our 20th anniversary events.”
Maddie's story
Maddie, who currently lives in Glasgow, was another young person who received amazing levels of support when her father died of alcohol-related issues. She struggled to come to terms with the death and at age 15 she was referred to Richmond’s Hope.
Through her 12 sessions with the organisations, Maddie was given the chance to overcome her confusion and anger. She discussed her memories of her dad and about his death and his illness with support workers.
She also created a memory box as a keepsake, with a photo of her as a wee girl with her dad inside. This helped Maddie remember the good times she had with her dad and to make sure the memories “would never be forgotten”.
Maddie returned to Richmond's Hope when she was 18 and finally felt ready to “face the weight” of her loss and grief. She was supported by team leader Amy to work through her grief journey and uncover the reasons behind some of her feelings and fears.
For her last session at Richmond’s Hope, Maddie chose to go to a cafe near the Campsie’s for brunch. Here, she spoke to her bereavement support worker about her childhood experiences learning to ride her bikes and going for hot chocolate with her dad at the cafe.
Maddie said: “You look at other people and they have their dads and you think he’s not going to be there when I have my wedding or other events in my life. Sometimes bereaved kids get overlooked because people around them think you’re too young, they don’t understand what’s going on, but young kids do.
"I think it’s really important for young people to know that whatever they were going through, they were never alone. There is always someone going through the same situation as you."
Maddie’s mum Gillian said: “Maddie seems much happier after her sessions and seems more energised. Maddie is more open about her dad, talking about the good and the bad.
"It has been great for her to have someone like Amy to talk about her feelings to. To have someone who just listens has been so good for her."
Maddie is now 19. She and her family are co-founders of the Routes project, which is a part of Scottish Families Affected by Drugs and Alcohol, helping young people cope with the affects of alcohol and drugs in their family.
She has also started a social care course and hopes to pursue this as her future career.
Isla's story
Isla, from Midlothian, is one young person who benefitted from the support of Richmond’s Hope when she struggled to come to terms with the tragic loss of her twin brother who was stillborn. She received support from the age of seven in 2006 from the charity.
It was difficult for her to understand why her brother was not in her life and at the time her parents did not have the answers she was seeking. She says that it was particularly difficult when attending school as her friends and other pupils would talk about their own brothers and sisters.
Isla said: “When I was growing up, I found coping with grief hard at times. My mum and dad made a big conscious effort to be there for me but they were both affected by their own loss and grieving and there was an extra layer of pressure.”
Her mother reached out to the family GP who advised the family to contact Richmond’s Hope. At first she was nervous about approaching the charity but after meeting the staff she felt at ease.
She started visiting once a week and had around 12 sessions. Isla said: “I clearly remember meeting my Bereavement Support Worker, Sam, for the first time and thought she was amazing and very kind –almost like the older sister I never had. I trusted Sam and wanted to share things with her.”
They advised Isla to create a memory jar, which in the beginning was challenging because she did not have memories of her twin brother. But Sam gave her encouragement to include activities that she would like to have experienced with him if he were still alive.
Those at the charity also helped her to create a hand puppet to represent what she thought her brother would look like at the time. Isla has kept everything that she created with Richmond’s Hope in her mother’s attic.
She added: “Richmond’s Hope gave me the time and space that I knew was mine and I could speak Sam about things that may have upset my mum and dad because they were grieving themselves.”
The skills that Isla gained at Richmond’s also allowed her to support those in her life including friends at school through grief and bereavement. This was thanks to the skills she learned through the organisation that allowed her to understand and relate to what others were going through.
Today she says that she does not hide from answering questions about her twin brother or sharing her own experiences with others. At age 15 Isla asked Richmond’s Hope if she could become a volunteer at their family day as she wanted to show support for other children and young people who found themselves in a similar situation as she faced.
When she started university, she helped Aislinn, a Bereavement Support Worker, to run Richmond’s Hope’s teen group. Isla graduated from Edinburgh University with a degree in Criminology.
She said: “I always knew I wanted to do a job that helped people and wanted to make an impact. My experience at Richmond’s Hope is something that I knew I would take through my live forever. Without Richmond’s Hope’s support I wouldn’t have known what I wanted. I wanted to be that person that helped shape someone’s life. I can honestly say that Richmond’s Hope has changed my life.”
Isla is now 25 and recently joined Richmond’s Hope’s Board of Directors as a Trustee to give back to the charity that helped her as a child. She also works full time as a Support and Advocacy Worker for Scottish Borders Rape Crisis Centre.
Isla said: “I have been a Trustee of Richmond’s Hope since May 2022 and use my experience on the Board to influence Richmond’s Hope in its work and aspirations for the future.”
The charity currently has full-time bases in Edinburgh and Glasgow and satellite bases in East Lothian & Midlothian, with plans to open more satellite locations across Scotland.
For more information on Richmond's Hope visit their website here. If you'd like to be involved in events, volunteering opportunities or are looking for inspiration on ways to raise funds for Richmond's Hope please contact Richmond's Hope by email at info@richmondshope.org.uk or phone: 0131 661 6818.
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