The families of murdered Scots have told how a lifeline service supported them through their darkest days.
The mother of gangland murder victim Lynda Spence are amongst dozens of families fighting to help pull the FAMS charity back from the brink.
In today's Record we tell how FAMS (Families Affected by Murder and Suicide) guided those who have lost loved ones to violence through unimaginable grief and, in many cases, saved their lives.
Scores of families are now uniting to save the service amid a funding drought.
These are their stories:
Pat Spence
For many years, Pat Spence blocked out any mention of her daughter’s death, refusing to hear details of how her life was cut short in the most brutal way.
Now, while she still refuses to speak the names of Lynda’s killers, she can smile at the memories she shared with her daughter and “best pal”.
In 2011, monsters Colin Coats and Philip Wade took Lynda, a 27-year-old unregistered financial adviser, to a house in West Kilbride, Ayrshire, bound her with tape to a chair in the loft and tortured her for two weeks to try to recover cash lost by Coats before killing her.
Despite the brutal pair being convicted and serving minimum terms totalling 63 years, for Pat, the nightmare never ends.
In recent months she was given hope that Lynda’s body could finally be recovered after police searched a remote spot in Argyll which had been pinpointed by Coats and Wade.
Pat - who has battled cancer - was so convinced she could be found she began to plan a funeral. But the search drew a blank, leaving the family heartbroken.
The support she receives from FAMS is helping her cope more than a decade on from Lynda’s murder.
Pat said: “I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for them. I wanted to be with my daughter.
“But in the back of my head I thought ‘if I go down the animals will have won’ and I can’t let them win. That’s what kept me going.
“I’ve come a long way. But for me the case can never be closed until I get her back.”
At the High Court in Glasgow in 2013, the trial heard how Lynda’s high-stakes business spiralled out of control when she crossed her killers, squandering Coats’s money on a dodgy land deal and fleecing Wade’s brother.
Pat had reported Lynda missing but her mother’s instinct told her she was dead long before police launched a murder probe.
She said: “I had that instinct and just knew in my heart, but I didn’t know the half of it.
“I know what happened was horrific but I don’t ever want to know what really happened to her.”
Unable to lay her daughter to rest, Pat visits a bench where she feels close to Lynda.
A fresh search was launched in a Dunoon field for Lynda’s body last year but was called off in October.
Pat said: “I’ve been and booked funerals and everything. Horses and carriages.
“They said foxes may have taken the bones. I was devastated. I don’t know if she was ever in Dunoon. Nobody knows but those two. I don’t even want to hear their name.
“Every time I hear the phone my heart goes and I think ‘that might be the wean’ and it’s not. Every time I hear they’ve found remains I keep thinking ‘maybe next time’.
“I can’t fault the police. They spent thousands and looked again and again. There’s not much more they can do but in my heart I feel I’ll get her back one day.
Until then, there’s no closure. I won’t stop until I get her.”
Pat said the thought of other families losing the support network she has found is devastating.
She said: “I always say there are other people worse off that me and some of these people are just starting in their grief.
“It takes a while to realise there are people who can help you.
“I never thought I’d be able to talk about how I feel but FAMS just listen to you and you get stronger over the years.
“FAMS has done so much for so many people and they have always been there for me. I will be there to support them when they need me.
“Now I just say Lynda’s with my ma in heaven and up there laughing with her.
“I never thought I’d be able to do the things I’m doing now, but you do get stronger, with the right help.”
Thomas Barr
Douglas Barr was just 24 when he was savagely beaten to death in the street by a 15-year-old boy.
Schoolboy killer Barry Watson subjected his victim to 76 separate injuries in the brutal attack more than two decades ago.
For his big brother Thomas, his death seems like yesterday.
Incensed by the lenient treatment of Douglas’s killer, who was allowed bail and walked free after less than four years, Thomas was consumed by rage in the years to come.
It is only now he has found the help he needs after contacting FAMS.
Thomas, 52, said: “It’s nearly 23 years now and I feel like I’m just learning to cope.
“I broke down on his anniversary last year and realised it was different this time. I was finally starting to grieve properly.”
Douglas was killed just yards from his family home in Mauchline, Ayrshire, in June 2000 by Watson, who had been on a drink and drugs binge.
Watson was arrested that day and appeared in court two days later charged with murder. But he was granted bail because he had no previous record under new rules forced on the Scottish system by the European Convention on Human Rights.
He was one of the first Scots freed on bail under the new rules, allowing him to roam the streets a full six months before his trial.
Thomas was still reeling from the grief of finding his mother dead six weeks earlier when he was told his brother had been killed.
He said: “I was the last one who spoke to him when he phoned the house and said ‘I’ll see you tomorrow’.
“I normally went out with my pal the next day but I felt something was wrong. I had a really uneasy feeling and said I needed to go home.
“My step dad was waiting for me getting off the bus and told me.
“I’ve not been able to find any peace since because of the way his case was handled. I felt they took the killer by the hand and protected him because of his age.”
A sheriff had agreed to bail Watson, saying he was no threat to the public, even though he admitted the killing.
He was sentenced to nine years after pleading guilty to a reduced charge of culpable homicide the following year.
That was reduced to seven on appeal and the killer was back in the community after half that time.
Thomas said: “They put him back in the same street where he killed Douglas and I stayed around the corner from there.
“I spoke to the Labour Government at the time to try and prevent this happening again. Nothing ever came of it.”
Thomas sought help from his GP over the years but said referrals didn’t connect him with the right support and he was prescribed potent medication to deal with his mental health problems, which left him feeling worse.
He said: “My head was ready for exploding when I contacted FAMS.
“I’ve carried all of this for such a long time. The rage was killing me. I was showing erratic behaviour, which wasn’t me.
“I’ve been coming here since September 2021.
“I’ve come so far. There is still a long way to go but I’m am so grateful for this place.
“If it wasn’t for this place I wouldn’t be here.”
Donna Hilson
Donna Hilson was left traumatised after discovering the body of her murdered mother-in-law.
Mary Haley, 75, was left with at least 55 injuries after the horror attack in her Hamilton home in February 2020.
The killer was later jailed for a minimum of 20 years.
Mum-of-two Donna, 39, said she struggled to cope with her grief following the trial but FAMS “held her up” through the worst time of her life.
She said: “It took me a year and a half to admit I needed help.
“I contacted FAMS and within an hour they were on the phone.
“They’ve helped so many people but they’re struggling for the funding and we hope we can raise a good amount of money to help keep it open as long as we can.
“They have held me up and got me through the worst part of my life and I can’t thank them enough.”
Janet Fraser
Janet carries the ashes of her murdered grandson Conner Cowper everywhere she goes.
Conner was 18 when he was murdered at a house party in Holytown, North Lanarkshire, by Jolene Doherty - a 17-year-old who had previous for carrying blades and was expelled from school for violence.
It will be five years next month since Conner’s death and Janet, who he called her “second mum”, is still struggling to cope.
She was left traumatised by images she saw in court of her grandson’s injuries and cannot utter Doherty’s name - who was one of Scotland’s youngest ever female killers.
Conner died when Doherty plunged a blade into his neck while pregnant and high on cocaine and booze, as horrified party-goers desperately tried to save him.
Her trial heard she exploded into a violent rage when Conner, who he barely knew, branded her a “stupid wee girl” and was later found laughing nearby by police.
Sentencing the thug, from Wishaw, to detention for life with at least 16 years in custody, judge Lord Arthurson told Edinburgh High Court the attack on Conner was “deliberate, brutal, unprovoked and entirely murderous”.
Janet, 62, sleeps with Conner’s ashes under her pillow and never goes anywhere without them.
The gran says finding FAMS saved her life and she still relies on the service heavily to get through her darkest times.
She said: “She doesn’t know what she has done. She has broken every one of our hearts.
“The only thing keeping me going is thinking that Conner is coming home.
“It’s his anniversary next month and I go away every year. I don’t want to be here.
“Sometimes I feel like I’m going backwards. But all I know is I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for FAMS.
“I’ve learned so much about how to cope. Every week I come here and I couldn’t do it without them.
“As long as I’ve got FAMS, I can keep going.”
You can get help from FAMS and support them by visiting the website.
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