Richard E. Grant lost his beloved wife of 35 years Joan Washington to lung cancer in September 2021.
And ever since the Hollywood star has made no secret of how hard it has been to move on with his life.
He has admitted being in a “well of grief” after nursing his dialect coach wife - who he affectionately called Monkee-mine - until she died at their Cotswolds cottage at the age of 71.
Tragically Joan’s death came just eight months after doctors delivered the heartbreaking news her cancer was terminal.
Doctor Who and Game of Thrones star Richard has said he can’t imagine himself being with anyone else.
In a tearful Instagram video posted on what would have been Joan’s birthday in December, the 65-year-old said he is “still in denial she is not here”.
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One thing that has helped him mourn his beloved wife’s passing is writing a book called A Pocket Full of Happiness.
The book, released in late 2022, is a memoir of Richard’s life but inspired by Joan’s last request to her husband that he must try to find a pocketful of happiness in each day.
Through a combination of prose and diary entries, it details the last moments he spent with Joan.
Although the subject matter is sad, there are some surprisingly funny moments, like when Joan – who was very unwell at this point - spoke German out of the blue.
It also reveals the kindness of their famous friends, such as Nigella Lawson, who sent taxis over bearing nourishing meals such as risotto and Tuscan bean soup.
Gabriel Byrne helped lift a rented hospital bed up the stairs, Cate Blanchett sent huge bunches of gardenias and Rupert Everett popped around with freshly laid eggs.
They even got a royal visitor in the form as King Charles, then the Prince of Wales, who the couple befriended some 20 years earlier at Highgrove.
Speaking to Fearne Cotton’s Happy Place podcast, Richard said writing the book was like “resurrecting” Joan, which was "helpful" to him.
He shared: “It was healing because once you’ve dealt with the funeral and the bureaucracy of death – you have to fill in forms.
“And when people have stopped dealing with you on a daily basis. It’s like that movie where you walk through London and the world has been vacuumed of people.”
In another interview with the Radio Times, Richard revealed the hardest part of his day is in the evening.
“I can’t FaceTime Joan and tell her about the minutiae of my day. I have an ongoing conversation with her in my head, knowing there will be no reciprocity,” he said.
The Oscar-nominated star said he misses his wife more during winter because their wedding anniversary is November 1 and Joan’s birthday is December 21.
Richard and Joan met at an acting school in 1982 where Joan taught actors how to do voice coaching and accents.
Joan was in fact married to someone else at the time, but she fell “madly in love” with Richard while giving him private acting lessons and they eventually became a couple.
After spending a few weeks apart, Richard proposed to Joan in the most romantic way.
In a 1994 interview with The Independent, he said: “When I was away I spoke to her on the phone a lot and wrote every day – and I couldn’t think of a better way of making some kind of commitment.
“So I came back and went on bended knee with my trolley at 6.30am at Heathrow Airport – and luckily for me, she said yes.”
The couple tied the knot in 1986 and went on to have a daughter, Olivia. Ricard also became stepfather to Joan’s son, Tom.
Sadly, Olivia – now 34 – wasn’t the couple’s first biological daughter.
Richard revealed he and Joan became parents to another child, who was tragically stillborn.
Years later, the teetotal actor – who is allergic to alcohol despite his starring debut role in Withnail and I - opened up about how he and his wife coped with the passing of their first child, who was born at 27 weeks and only lived for half an hour because her lungs were underdeveloped.
Discussing the heartbreaking loss in an interview with The Independent, he said: “Our worst time was the loss of our first child. You get around it, but you don’t get over it.
“I was working at Shepperton and I got a call to say that Joan was in an ambulance. Your world goes upside down.”
Richard added: “I think that sort of thing either splits a couple up, because that person doesn’t come up with the compassion or support you need, or it binds you in a way that nothing else can.”
Following his wife’s death, the actor shared her final message in an emotional social media post.
“She said to me just before she died, ‘You’re going to be alright. Try and find a pocketful of happiness in every single day.
“I’m just so grateful for almost four decades that we had together,” Richard shared.
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