Got a parenting question you can't seem to answer?
Educator, author and host of ABC podcast, Parental as Anything, Maggie Dent, tackled some of your curly questions in our Q&A blog.
Look back on Wednesday's online session.
Key events
- When should we teach kids to say please and thank you?
- My child hates homework. What can I do?
- My daughter won't do anything for herself. How do I get that to change?
- How do we deal with fake crying?
- Trying to leave the house on time feels like a battle. What can I do?
- My son has discovered Minecraft and wants to play it all the time. How do we manage screen time?
- When should I be talking to my child about disabilities?
- My daughter is an angel at school and a nightmare at home. How do I cope?
- How can I help improve my child's confidence levels?
- My daughter says she is ugly and fat and I suspect it's coming from her peers. How do I best address it?
- My sons won't stop fighting. What can I do?
- How much screen time is healthy for teenagers?
- We thought we were on top of our parenting. Then our daughter turned 14
- How do I deal with a very strong-willed three-year-old?
- Trying to to get my daughter dressed every morning is destroying my sanity. What can I do to help her?
- Should my teenagers be allowed to pick their own bedtimes?
- How do we stop our child from sleeping in our bed?
- My child is anxious and refuses to go to school. What approach should I take?
Live updates
By Bridget Judd
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Maggie's final thoughts: 'There is no such thing as the perfect parent'
This is where we'll have to leave the Q&A this evening, but thanks for following along.
If you're looking for more tips and tricks, why not check out the ABC's Parental as Anything podcast?
You can also share your parenting highs and lows by joining the ABC Kids Community Facebook page.
We'll leave you with these final thoughts from Maggie Dent:
"Thank you for all your questions and thanks to the ABC for the chance to do this tonight. As I sign off I just want to reassure you that there is no such thing as a perfect parent, never has been and never will be.
"We can be good-enough, which means we will have days where we will not be the parent we want to be despite trying really hard. I want you to focus on the days it does work.
"What kids need most from birth until they leave home (and when they come back a few times) is to know they are loved no matter what, no matter when. That's the biggy."
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By Bridget Judd
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Solo parenting can be a 'baptism of fire'
Our next comment comes from Prue, who says:
Not a question but a comment. I'm a solo parent who gave birth just before the first lockdown - it was a long two years battling along on my own without visitors. It made me realise that most parenting content out there is focused on two parent families (and this is what society is mainly set up to support). There is a real absence of content out there for solo parents. I know you've done an episode previously on solo parenting - but both those interviewed had previously had partners. I'd LOVE to hear more about and from people who have been solo parents from birth: balancing work/life, the limited mat leave available, consequences on career/income when childcare isn't available, what to do when a pandemic hits and it's quite literally just you and your kid!" — Prue
Here's Maggie Dent:
"You're so right... I know so much of the content is about two-parent families and solo parents who have separated and as you say this is how support is structured. I'll take that on board!
"I often say to solo parents that it's really important to create a village or support network as best you can. It's not easy I know... but whether it's other solo parents or neighbours or extended family, it's tough without support.
"Obviously, in a global pandemic every family is struggling and you've been doing it alone. What a baptism of fire. Solo parents are pretty amazing because they manage to do SO much. One benefit of your situation as a solo parent is that you're not struggling with an ex or a co-parent who has different styles and expectations... it does create a lot of consistency for your son, as challenging as it might be for you.
"I want to re-asssure you that I have met many amazing children who have been raise by a solo mum or a solo dad … .indeed some of these children have grown to be incredibly capable and resilient, because there was only one parent and they needed to step up and really help out and be responsible."
By Bridget Judd
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When should we teach kids to say please and thank you?
Our next question comes from Jennifer, who asks:
At what age should you be teaching children to express please and thank you in everyday life - for food etc — Jennifer
Here's Maggie Dent:
"Children tend to model themselves on their safest grownups, and so from as early as possible, speak to your children graciously and politely, and they will gradually do the same.
"There is one interesting thing we notice, and that is that children who have been spoken to politely, still don't tend to do it is much around home, however they definitely do it when they are outside of home! Go figure!"
By Bridget Judd
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My child hates homework. What can I do?
My six year old HATES homework and puts on an act every time he has to do it. I'm worried his 3 younger brothers are watching his terrible behaviour and I'll be outnumbered in a couple of years. What can I do?
- Exhausted Mum
Here's Maggie Dent:
"Hopefully your six-year-old is really only needing to do reading for homework, not worksheets. My best suggestion is that you leave the homework issue for your son and his teacher to work out.
"Please let the teacher know that that is the plan, because creating a war zone at home with parents so early in their schooling career is not going to be helpful for him or you.
"Remember that many little boys are especially fatigued after a full day at school, and that stress needs to be discharged and their bodies need to be restored into a happy calm state before they could even remotely consider doing any more school work.
"Some vigorous play with his brothers, a healthy snack, a good drink of water and he may have some energy that he can put towards his homework."
Looking for more information?
"For more tips check out the Parental As Anything episode on 'How to prevent homework stress'," — Maggie Dent
By Bridget Judd
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My daughter won't do anything for herself. How do I get that to change?
My 4.5yo daughter will not do anything for herself and demands I do it. This includes going to the toilet, wiping her, putting shoes or clothes on, the list goes on... When I resist she goes straight to tantrum mode. Yelling and sometimes lashing out with hitting and kicking. I've tried doing these things for her with no complaint thinking that it will all work itself out when she goes to school, but I'm at the end of my tether. Any tips to get her to do these things which she is able to do and has done previously?
- Chloe
Here's Maggie Dent:
"Your little daughter has created some unhelpful habits by demanding you do these things for her... And it is time that you make some small changes. Have a conversation with her first about growing up and that as she's getting to be older, she gets to be stronger, braver and much more capable.
"Doing things for ourselves makes us feel fabulous. Ask what is the one thing she'd like to try the next day to do by herself to show you just how grown-up she is becoming? If she does meltdown into tantrum mode, you are going to allow her to kick and scream while staying calmly near by.
"Dr Vanessa Lapointe (in the Parental as Anything episode on 'How to discipline your child'), explains that they will go from mad to eventually sad and that's a sign that they are coming to terms with their disappointment. When they get to sad they may let you comfort them, however she still may not do that one thing that you have asked her to do.
"I'm a huge fan of visualisation and so if you ask her to close her eyes and pretend that she can dress herself just like her favourite superhero character (like Else or Moana) then her mind can imagine doing the task and it increases the chances of her doing it, because she simply hasn't done it for a while. Habits can be learned and unlearned…"
By Bridget Judd
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How do we deal with fake crying?
How to deal with fake cries? Both my boys (2 and 5 years) try to use it as a tactic and it’s driving me mental…should i pretend as if it’s real or should i call out their rather average acting?
- Tina
Here's Maggie Dent:
"Fake cries, while they can be incredibly annoying, are so much better than real crying if the brothers were intentionally hurting each other.
"If you can treat it in a funny way, and maybe pretend to do it as well, or suddenly chase them around the house or pretend you are a dinosaur, you will shift the moment as it is often something they do when they are a little bit bored.
"Rather than commenting on it, or mentioning it too often - ignoring it, and changing the location, or the energy of the moment may help it disappear."
By Bridget Judd
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Trying to leave the house on time feels like a battle. What can I do?
Our next question comes from Ariel, who asks:
Every morning seems like a battle. What can i do so we leave the house in the morning on time, dressed, having had breakfast without me feeling like i have just run a marathon? My 4 year old struggles with transitions but I try and have a routine but there is always just 'something' that he needs to do that gets in the way of the actual task. — Ariel
Here's Maggie Dent:
"Four-year-olds are still young children and they have very little concept of time. My suggestion to help with getting out the door on time in the morning without it feeling like a battleground or a marathon, is to have as many things as possible prepared the evening before.
"The less things that a young child has to do before they need to leave in the morning, the better. It can be really helpful to have a visual reminder for some children so that you don’t have to remind them. Reminders can sound like nagging, and often that can trigger everyone into becoming really crabby.
"If you can play some calming nature sound music or maybe some bouncy happy music in the background as you are getting ready it can help our children feel happier as they navigate getting ready for the day. For boys who often have a tendency not to remember where everything is, I would have their clothes in a pile next to their shoes somewhere they can find them really easily!
"There will be some days when your son will struggle, or suddenly have a random poo just as you're walking out the door. Please take some deep breaths, and know that this is going to be one of those days we are going to be late … with love.
"You are not a failed parent, or a lousy parent, you are a parent with a young child who is having a difficult time getting out the door. Celebrate the days when it does work, and then try not to focus on the days it doesn’t. Gradually they get better at managing the mornings."
By Bridget Judd
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My son has discovered Minecraft and wants to play it all the time. How do we manage screen time?
How do you recommend we manage screentime in the family? My son (8) has recently discovered Minecraft and asks to play it everyday and he would if we let him. How much screen time is too much?
- Justine
Here's Maggie Dent:
"Minecraft is considered one of the more creative apps to play for our digital children. However, as your child is an eight-year-old you will be wanting to prioritise plenty of physical movement, plenty of time outside and plenty of time playing with other children to enable optimal development.
"Once any chores that need doing in your home (or reading or homework) are out of the way, children in days gone by would have watched TV for an hour or two. Again be very clear about when he is able to play Minecraft once all these other things have been ticked off the to-do list.
"You will still possibly have a techno tantrum when it’s time to get off, because he would be flooded with the feelgood neurochemical dopamine and it feels really good. Give him some gentle warnings that his time is coming to an end, and have something for him to do that he would feel is pleasant so that he can transition without too much drama."
By Bridget Judd
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When should I be talking to my child about disabilities?
Our next question comes from Taylah, who asks:
At what age should you disclose to a child their disabilities/diseases if they are not already aware? Or is this something you should be honest with from the get-go? — Taylah
Here's Maggie Dent:
"When a child has a disability or disease that is diagnosed, that is a good time to give age-appropriate information that they may have an additional challenge that other children may not.
"Children often compare themselves to others and so they will soon notice the differences between each other. The key is to give enough information but not too much information, nor to give it in a way which could create a negative mindset, which may limit the way they see themselves and their potential.
"There is lots of helpful information in the digital space that can support parents in communicating to their children about any given disability or disease. It can also be helpful to join support groups of other parents who have already experienced what you are going through."
By Bridget Judd
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My daughter is an angel at school and a nightmare at home. How do I cope?
Everyone thinks my girl (5y) is an angel. She is so lovely to her teachers, friends etc. But she is usually so rude and emotional and manipulative with me. I’m her safe space to let her hard emotions from the day free, I get it. But it just doesn’t make it any easier at home to actually cope with it. How do I cope when I feel like she treats me like s&#t and everyone else like magical fairies?
- Jess
Here's Maggie Dent:
"You have captured exactly the reasons why your little girl can be so difficult when she gets home from school. You are her safest person and she loves you the most, which is why she is able to discharge her big ugly feelings and stress from the day.
"Something that may help, when she is in a slightly better frame of mind, is to suggest that you have a couch chat on the days when she comes home feeling really crabby. She just needs to sit on the couch, while you get some refreshments for her, then you sit non judgmentally and listen while she decompresses her day.
"This would be a great habit to get into before the teen years. We can help to shift the cortisol (stress hormone) in their body with gestures of kindness, playing their favourite music, 20 minutes watching a favourite TV program or nursing a pet. Help her to problem solve how she can move through her crabby feelings without having to attack mummy."
Looking for more information?
"There is a Parental As Anything episode on 'Helping your child manage emotions'," — Maggie Dent
By Bridget Judd
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How can I help improve my child's confidence levels?
The next question is from Aaron, who asks:
I have a child Maggie would refer to as a "Lamb". I want to try help him with his low confidence levels. How can I do this? I'll spend hours with him on a typical weekend, but I need some help with games/trips/outings etc I can do to help him develop. Or am I trying too hard to turn my Lamb into a Rooster? — Aaron
Here's Maggie Dent:
"This is a common concern with parents of our more sensitive lamb children. How do we make them more confident and capable?
"First I need to reassure you that lambs when they are allowed to develop in their own time, are not necessarily weaker than their feisty ‘rooster’ counterparts, they just don’t have the same need to show off or to be seen by others.
"Focus on your lamb’s strengths rather than his weaknesses. Ensure he spends a lot of time playing with other children in environments where he can copy their bravery, especially older children.
"By all means take him to exciting places like zoos, nature playgrounds, aquariums, museums and national parks. These will all provide opportunities to excite him and stretch him gently.
"What we do want is for your lamb to gradually learn how to be assertive and brave, while still being sensitive and gentle and these things can happen in our homes, daycares, communities and schools with everyday experiences. There are some fabulous picture books that can also support building a sense of authentic bravery."
Looking for more information?
"For more tips check out the Parental As Anything episode we did on ‘Roosters or lambs – understanding your children’s personality’" — Maggie Dent
By Bridget Judd
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My daughter says she is ugly and fat and I suspect it's coming from her peers. How do I best address it?
My young daughter is 9 years old and is telling me that she is ugly and fat. I do not think this is coming from anything she hears at home, so suspect it is coming from her peers. How do I best address this?
- J9
Here's Maggie Dent:
"This is incredibly upsetting and I am hearing of this much more often. In the research I was doing for my most recent book, early childhood educators told me that little girls as young as four are fat shaming other girls.
"So while this is not something your daughter has heard at home, she has obviously heard somebody say it to her. Reassure her that she will hear unkind and hurtful things from other children and while it is upsetting, it is quite simply untrue.
"If you can have conversations with your daughter about the strengths that she has in her life - is she artistic? Creative? Physically capable? Academically strong? Thoughtful and considerate? ... That is a good place to start.
"The next phase is to talk to her about her body and that it is something that is going to help her right throughout her life and that you can help her know how to nurture it, look after it and care for so that she can live a long and healthy life.
"The Butterfly Foundation has some wonderful resources that may also be helpful in this way."
Looking for more information?
"For more tips, check out the Parental As Anything episode on 'Teaching your kids body positivity'," — Maggie Dent
By Bridget Judd
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My sons won't stop fighting. What can I do?
Our next question comes from Jess:
My question is about how to deal with fighting between my two boys, aged 3 and nearly 6. Separately, they are gorgeous, happy, relaxed humans. Together, there is no end to the needling, arguing and fighting. There are some nice moments, but mostly a lot of competing over the same things, taking each other's toys etc which leads to aggressive behaviour such as hitting, pinching, yelling and even hair pulling. I feel like I have to be on the floor playing with them all the time to anticipate the arguments and redirect them before they begin. It's exhausting. I try reasoning with them, de-escalating the behaviour and redirecting them but it's just endless. I can't be with them every minute. What can I do? — Jess
Here's Maggie Dent:
"Your message reminded me of some of the chaos that used to be in my home when my four sons were younger! Firstly, it is important to understand that boys have a high need for physical movement and that when they ‘play’ they often do what we call relational aggression.
"This means the slapping, hitting, wrestling, mock fighting and jumping on each other all have a core intention of connection and to have fun! They often do the same with their best mates.
"There are times that they genuinely make poor choices however there is a line in the sand that you need to explore with your boys. That is when they deliberately try to hurt others. If you can find a quiet time when they have a full tummy, give the boys an opportunity to share what they do and don’t want their other brother ¬to do.
"Please write it down, be very specific - even though the three year old can’t read, it will make it easier to know when to step in and resolve conflict, and when to let it go. Make sure you list the special toys or belongings that each boy wants to keep to himself and maybe keep those things in a special box so that the boundary is very clear."
Looking for more information?
"I’ve written more on this for ABC Everyday in this article: How to help your kids stop fighting at times of high stress" — Maggie Dent
By Bridget Judd
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How much screen time is healthy for teenagers?
How much free screen time is do you think is healthy for a 14-year-old who does most schoolwork on their computer, and loves doing writing on it too?
- Melbourne Mum
Here's Maggie Dent:
"Monitoring screen time especially for our teens is definitely one of the biggest challenges of parenting today. The key priorities around screen time are not so much about how MUCH time, as about how they are spending that time and what are they not doing instead of being online.
"In a perfect world our teens would love to spend some of the daylight hours having fun outside, riding a bike, walking a dog, playing sport or enjoying the company of their friends; however the online world is definitely stealing more time that they would possibly be doing these things.
"If you prioritise getting schoolwork done before entertainment online that would be a good idea. It's also a good idea to have their computers out in the main area rather than in their bedrooms where you can be engaged with the activities they are doing from time to time, rather than feeling like a police officer turning up in their bedroom.
"The third concern is making sure that your son is getting plenty of sleep and that he is away from his screens for at least an hour before he goes to bed. Weeknights can have different boundaries to the weekend."
Looking for more information?
"We have a Parental As Anything episode on teens and smartphones that has more on this" — Maggie Dent
By Bridget Judd
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We thought we were on top of our parenting. Then our daughter turned 14
The next question comes from Scott, who asks:
Hi Maggie, together Julie and I have three teenage daughters. Life was idyllic, and we thought we were on top of our parenting game. That was until our eldest hit 14. For 3 years it was very difficult to cope with her mood swings, manipulation, and attitude. She's 18 and grown out of it now, but our middle daughter is 17 and has also been extremely difficult for 1.5 years now. It places a massive strain on our relationship. I pray our baby who is now 15 doesn't go through this phase. She doesn't seem to be that way inclined, but hormones are hard to predict. How can we better cope with these mood swings so that we support them better, and don't get so depleted ourselves? We are exhausted. — Scott
Here's Maggie Dent:
"Dear mum and dad of three teenage daughters … adolescence, which is the transformation from child to adult, is such a tricky time in life. Each child will do it in their own unique way and from my experience as a counsellor, I found that girls could experience more complexity emotionally, socially and physically than most boys.
"I need to reassure you that your girls still need to have rails on the bridge to adulthood and that if you are doing that well, you will have times of intense conflict. That’s because they are hungry for the freedom and autonomy of adulthood, without having the maturity to make the best decisions for themselves all the time.
"The search for identity, the hunger to belong with peers and friends, the drive to explore and stretch themselves all combine in these years of change.
"My two top suggestions to survive are to continually reassure your girls that your love is unconditional, that they can turn to you no matter what, and secondly to use kindness, especially when they don’t deserve it."
Looking for more information?
"I’ve actually written a longer article for ABC News on this so perhaps check that out: Teenage brains are under siege but there are three ways parents can connect" — Maggie Dent
By Bridget Judd
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How do I deal with a very strong-willed three-year-old?
Our next question comes from Karina, who asks:
Help please Maggie. Best way to deal with a 3 year old who is VERY strong willed? (He'll rule the world one day I swear). He hurts his older brother when he lashes out, throws things when he's angry, throws his dinner/plate almost every night. We try naming emotions and talking to him about how he's feeling and that we understand he doesn't like the situation. We've tried removing him from situations etc (I.e bath tub when he hurts his brother). But we aren't seeing any progress unfortunately. Yet he's the most happy,loving little boy when he's not sad/angry — Karina
Here's Maggie Dent:
"It definitely sounds like you have a feisty ‘rooster’ son who is struggling with the growth of his emotional world, which is developmentally appropriate at 3. There is research that shows that when boys get upset, and their limbic brain fires up, the next centre that fires up activates the body.
"So the intensity of emotions tends to need to be discharged physically rather than through words and it can be very confusing for little boys as well as their parents.
"He is probably getting even more frustrated when you are trying to use words when he is already flooded. That’s because when he is in the fight-flight state, he will not be able to hear you and it may make him feel even more distressed.
"When he is in a calm space, chat to him about what he can do with the emotional energy in his body because he genuinely does not choose to hurt his brother or himself. Does jumping up and down help him? Does punching a pillow help him? Does yelling into a pillow help him? Does jumping on a trampoline help him?
"It’s normal for 3 to 4 year old boys to struggle intensely with big feelings and having safe grown-ups, who can stay calm in the midst of the storms, and show unconditional love for them following the meltdowns, is the best way that they learn how to navigate big emotions."
Looking for more information?
"Check out our Parental As Anything episodes on ‘Managing meltdowns and handling tantrums – including your own’ and ‘How to help your child manage emotions’ for more tips on this. The ABC also has a video on managing anger in the home." — Maggie Dent
By Bridget Judd
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Trying to to get my daughter dressed every morning is destroying my sanity. What can I do to help her?
The next question comes from Nicola:
Hi Maggie, my daughter is 3.5 years old and getting her dressed every morning is destroying my sanity and making for a miserable start to everyone's day! I suspect she may be a 'highly sensitive' child, and she has a strong aversion to anything that she perceives as being too tight or too small. Sometimes she will go through five or more outfits in a morning until she settles on one that is acceptable. There are lots of tears and whinging in between outfits. What can I do to help her? — Nicola
Here's Maggie Dent:
"Emeritus Professor of paediatrics and psychiatry, W Thomas Boyce did research into children’s stress responses and came up with the metaphor that most kids pretty hardy and resilient in the face of adverse conditions, like dandelions, while others are more sensitive and reactive, like orchids.
"It definitely sounds like you have an ‘orchid’ daughter who has a heightened tactile sensitivity. My suggestion is that over a weekend you really go through her wardrobe with her and clearly identify the clothes that she feels comfortable wearing and have them in an easy to find place.
"You may need to buy a few more similar outfits so that she has enough. The clothes that she claims to be uncomfortable need to be kept in a separate space so that she doesn’t have to look too hard to find the clothes that she prefers to wear.
"As she grows older she may like to try something new however, at the moment avoiding activating her stress unnecessarily would be the best pathway forward. If you need to get out the door on time in the morning, it may be helpful for her to choose the outfit to wear the next day, the night before."
By Bridget Judd
![](https://livecenter-aus-hpc9audwdke2c0fm.z01.azurefd.net/lc-aus-images/lcimg-cf2764fc-b6c8-4dfd-9712-c665e4070308.jpg)
Should my teenagers be allowed to pick their own bedtimes?
Our next question comes from Clint:
Should children (now teenagers - 14 and 16) be allowed to pick their own bed-times, or should that still be stipulated by parents? — Clint
Here's Maggie Dent:
"Given how incredibly important a good night’s sleep is for adolescents, for physical, emotional and mental well-being, I believe this is one of the boundaries that parents need to maintain.
"Research is showing that chronic lack of sleep for our digital natives as teens, has become an epidemic that is deeply impacting their health and well-being. In fact according to paediatric and adolescent sleep specialist Dr Chris Seton, 70% of teens are chronically sleep deprived.
"Due to all the incredible biological and other changes that are happening for them, 14-16 -year-olds need on average 9 hours of sleep each night (right through adolescence). Given that they are not cognitively capable of making sound and mature decisions, they will obviously choose to do things that make sleep even more difficult.
"So please hold the boundaries around sleep, especially for the weeknights before school days - and gradually allow them the autonomy of managing bedtimes themselves after 16."
Looking for more information?
"Dr Seton had some wonderful tips for selling sleep to your teens in our recent Parental As Anything bonus episode, ‘Why your teen simply must sleep'," — Maggie Dent
By Bridget Judd
![](https://livecenter-aus-hpc9audwdke2c0fm.z01.azurefd.net/lc-aus-images/lcimg-cf2764fc-b6c8-4dfd-9712-c665e4070308.jpg)
How do we stop our child from sleeping in our bed?
Our next question comes from Sinead, who asks:
My nine year old son comes into our bed every night. We have tried rewards to keep him in his bed, but it doesn't work. Do you have any suggestions on how to keep him in his bed. I'm afraid this will continue forever! — Sinead.
Here's Maggie Dent:
"If you are all getting a really good night’s sleep, I really do not see any issue with your nine year old son co-sleeping with you.
"However, puberty is around the corner and your son will need some more privacy at bedtime because sharing an unpredictable penis and wet dreams is something he will not want to share with you!
"Changing habits especially ones that bring incredible comfort and a strong sense of safety, need to be done slowly. Maybe start with a mattress beside your bed and gradually moved to one night a week in his own bed.
"Possibly consider how you could make his bedroom even more exciting than your bedroom with a bit of a makeover. Very soon your son will start his journey of separating from you as his parents, as he begins his individuation process on the bridge to manhood."
Looking for more information?
"For more on tips, check out some of the tips from Dr Fallon Cook from Infant Sleep Australia" — Maggie Dent.
By Bridget Judd
![](https://livecenter-aus-hpc9audwdke2c0fm.z01.azurefd.net/lc-aus-images/lcimg-cf2764fc-b6c8-4dfd-9712-c665e4070308.jpg)
My child is anxious and refuses to go to school. What approach should I take?
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A big welcome to Maggie Dent, who is now on deck to tackle all your parenting questions.
Our first question comes from Linda, who asks:
What is the best approach to take when your child is extremely anxious and refuses to go to school, mostly because they have not mastered a homework assignment or they fear failing a test?— Linda
Here's what Maggie has to say:
"School reluctance and school refusal are often caused by anxiety that can be around performance, friendship challenges, teasing, bullying or feeling unsafe.
"My suggestion would be to connect with the classroom teacher so that you can work out a plan together to overcome your child’s fears about not being good enough.
"Acknowledging that your child is struggling is a good starting base however avoidance, sadly can make the problem worse. In the home you might practice playing simple games like noughts and crosses, snap or something similar we your child learns to lose often and frequently.
"If you can model that it’s okay to feel a bit yucky when you lose, and name it as ‘disappointment’, you are teaching your child that everyone experiences this feeling and you can learn ways to overcome it rather than simply fear it. Encouraging your child to find their own inner bravery can be also really helpful."
Looking for more information?
"For more on this I suggest you take a listen to the Parental As Anything episode we did recently on ‘When Your Kid Hates School’ in which Real Schools CEO Adam Voight and I talk a lot about school refusal. Also take a listen to the episode on ‘Do you have an anxious child?’ Karen Young has some great tips on helping kids feel brave." — Maggie Dent