The actual service was, to be honest, a bit underwhelming, verging on generic. OK, the archbishop of Canterbury and Big Suze from Peep Show – AKA Sophie Winkleman, now married to Lord Freddie Windsor – probably didn’t attend your aunt’s funeral.
But with a bit of Psalm 23, a splash of Elgar and a sprinkling of Corinthians, it was at times hard to tell the difference between this and any aged relative’s remembrance service.
Absolutely none of which could be said about the procession to and especially from the Westminster Abbey, which pummelled even the most sceptical of republicans into a state of respectful awe.
The swaying march of the rainbow-like array of military uniforms, the tiny, totemic body in a casket draped with pageantry, followed by her solemn children and selected grandchildren: this is what history will remember about the Queen’s funeral.
Just as the first image that comes to most people’s minds about Diana’s funeral is the young princes walking the silent streets of London, flanked by their father, grandfather and uncle.
Many of those same key characters were here on Monday, once again forced to make their private grief public, born into a job which offers no bereavement leave.
Indeed, as princes William and Harry know better than most, there is no busier and more public-facing time for a royal than a major death in the family. Harry recently recalled that during his mother’s funeral, his chief feeling was exasperation with the weeping public: “This was my mum, you never even met her.”
This time, his frustration was clearly more directed at his family. “That was my military uniform,” he surely seethed, now relegated to a mere morning suit, unlike his brother and father. “You never went on two tours of Afghanistan.”
Back in 1997, Harry and William, then only 12 and 15, were too young to offer each other much comfort, or even share a “God, this is sad and INCREDIBLY WEIRD” glance, as they walked behind their mother’s casket. Now, alas, they are too embroiled in royal tradition and personal bitterness.
The first march during the Queen’s funeral, from the Palace of Westminster to Westminster Abbey, set the scene, with the non-working royals – Prince Andrew and Harry – glaringly stripped of their military uniforms.
Harry has given many reasons for his decision to leave Britain and move his family to California. One he hasn’t said, but would be more than understandable, is he looked at his uncle Andrew, who was apparently so bored in his life as a spare that hanging around with a convicted sex criminal seemed like a good idea, and he thought: “Nah – not for me.”
But like the mafia, you can never really leave the royals.
As he walked behind his dreaded uncle, the two of them in matching morning suits, Harry must have thought: “All I did was move to Montecito. Do I really need to be grouped with this guy?”
Only the most deranged monarchist would not feel some sympathy for Harry and Meghan and the coldness they endured from his family. No one ever confused the Windsors with the Waltons. But one can also feel that Harry has been – how to put this – a little deluded about the situation. It was reported over the weekend that he told a friend: “People need to stop talking about this stuff and focus on my grandmother.”
This Harry must be absolutely livid with the Harry who has given multiple interviews about his grievances with his family, including a wildly high-profile one with Oprah Winfrey, written a soon-to-be published memoir which presumably retreads that ground, and is working on a documentary for Netflix about his life since leaving the royal family.
Who could blame a man once made to march behind his mother’s coffin for wanting to opt out of the royal business?
So it’s been a little bewildering to watch Harry and Meghan in California act like, well, royals, with their photocalls on Remembrance Sunday (from, er, Los Angeles) and their various speeches at the United Nations.
Harry has looked like the human embodiment of Britain mid-Brexit, leaving the organisation and then expressing outrage that he can’t enjoy the privileges of belonging to it.
It is true Meghan was abominably treated by some elements of the British media. It is also true she probably shouldn’t repeat dubious comparisons of herself to Nelson Mandela, as she did in a recent interview . Being the victim in one situation does not make you a saint. You can still be a bit of a numpty.
Does Harry ever wonder if he successfully made the point he was trying to make to his family? Towards the end of the Queen’s funeral, it looked as if he might.
As he got up from his seat and moved to the aisle, he looked towards his brother and seemed to be seeking eye contact. He didn’t get it. A stern-faced William walked right in front of him, and Harry took a further step back to make room for William’s children.
Because that’s what he was born to do, and he can never escape it, even if he moves halfway across the world.
And then the brothers marched forth, behind another dead woman they loved, next to one another, and ignoring each other.
