Most of us tend to cut our families the sort of slack we wouldn’t even think of giving to friends and acquaintances. But this doesn’t mean it’s “excessive” to have some sort of boundaries. This is particularly true when it comes to things like property. Just because someone is family doesn’t mean that their partners can do whatever they want.
A netizen shared their story of family drama when they discover that their sister’s boyfriend has left an absolutely massive mess in their vacation home. We reached out to the person who shared the story via private message and will update the article when they get back to us.
“Actions have consequences” is one of those things that some people just never grasp
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
A netizen shared their bit of family drama when they had to kick their sister’s BF out of their vacation house
Image credits: Nicola Barts (not the actual photo)
Image source: Different-Sea-9912
“Al” very clearly does not have a good understanding of what he should be doing
Image credits: Cameron Yartz (not the actual photo)
It’s pretty clear that there are two pretty major issues with Al’s behavior. First and foremost, he seems to be deeply entitled. Imagine sitting in a home your partner’s sibling has allowed you to use for free. Then you make a mess and now you have the gall to wonder why it’s so strange that she is picking it up for you.
The second issue, which is really a subset of the first, is that Al seems to believe that his partner should do these sorts of things for him. He does attempt to make some horrible, mostly useless excuses, like how there is no point in two people cleaning up together. This doesn’t really make any sense as the mess he made stretches across the entire home. In short, he actively does not see this as something he is responsible for taking care of.
Perhaps in their household, that is how it goes. We do have evidence that Lia is a very clean person, so in their home, it would appear that she probably does all the cleaning. For one reason or another, Al has decided that this is her “job,” regardless of the source of any possible mess.
Sexism, laziness or just plain old immaturity, it does not matter, as one way or another, Al truly doesn’t feel like the messes he makes are his problem. If it was just his home and Lia is ok with it, then fair enough, that is their business. But a deeper sort of entitlement is visible when the home in question belongs to someone else.
Entitlement often manifests as needing others to do things for you
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
Ultimately, this is the sort of immature behavior that creates issues for everyone. Al is lazy and makes a mess. He expects Lia to clean for him and everyone else to just not care at all. When he is faced with the reality that this is not acceptable in someone else’s home and that he is, personally, being called out for it, Al feels a deep amount of dissatisfaction. This is quite common for entitled people, as they tend to truly believe they are just the victim. Now Lia is in an uncomfortable position, as he clearly doesn’t see the error of his ways so she has to have drama with him or her sibling.
Researchers suggest that entitlement is closely related to some degree of narcissism. After all, a narcissistic person thinks that most rules don’t apply to them and that others need to bend over backwards to meet their needs. While we can’t test it, it’s probably safe to say that if someone went into Al’s home and just made a huge mess, he would be upset. That is, if he could notice the difference between the mess that is no doubt already there.
Where narcissism and entitlement diverge is the degree of autonomy one has. A narcissist will often “do things themselves” as they tend to truly think they are the best. Conversely, entitlement is often linked with actually being very reliant on others. Which is exactly what we see going on here.
Many readers thought kicking the BF out was the right call
But some thought the reaction was excessive
